"ADE'S JOURNAL", 78

  Hope comes to those who wait, those who want it badly enough. And everything I have hoped for has come all at once and my migraines is proof of that, my throbbing head sends me swaying. Not sparsely but like a heart beat, consistently pounding my skull. I’m back to school, I’ve writing again for profit and have five deadlines to create contents and design outfits all at once. Is this ironic, I think so. I’ve and lamenting and moaning for almost a month and then just like that. It’s all happening at once. I am rebranding and restructuring and searching for the best new website manager that offers additional services, like what? My reflection asks and I stare at it wondering and trying to understand why my reflection is talking. The sound of a 737 flying over my bedroom wakes me up.

 A new horizon spans across, where the ocean meets the sky. I sigh and then taste the salty cool air moist and rich, almost like the taste of a precious memory. That memory of a fearless child, licking the moist content of the Atlantic ocean from the back of an empty sea shell. The shell I picked on the shores of the rich bar beach, one of the many natural gifts of my native land. I want to stay here forever and live by the seashore and I don’t mind the tide coming in. My dad decides to keep us here a little longer, so I can witness the rage from a fierce sea. It starts slowly then begins to thrash at the ten foot wall of sand bed, slowly we all retreat and watch from a safe distance as the sea reclaims a vast expanse of seashore. I don’t remember been scared but I wanted to run and pull my siblings and parents far away from the violence erupting from a former calm sea. Even from afar the waves stretched and reached us and started to claim the road beside the sea. My dad and mum grab us all and we run into our car and drive off. I was screaming and crying and begging my dad to drive faster, the engineer in him explained to me why the car has to be slow in flooded water. I refuse to accept his explanation, so he points at the car in front speeding away and then it stops. It had water in its engine so had to wait until it was all dry. I wanted us to stop and save him but the surge of water that rammed our car made me manually lock the door. My mum was trying not to laugh at me or trying to hide her fear, I couldn’t tell the difference. All I know is that the rush of adrenaline made me forever in awe and at the same time afraid of the sea. I feel the waves touch my feet and stare at the water in the car and then I wake up.

"ADE'S JOURNAL", 76

  The sky is growling and I look up and see nothing, the temperature drops and carries with it a lot of fine particles. It’s mimicking rain, minus the rain clouds and a kind of darkness engulfs the entire atmosphere. I empty my dust pan in my hand filled with grains of sand and fabric particles, the life of a fashion designer. The morning ritual has started and as I stretch and stare again at the placid sky, I know its time to go back inside.

"ADE'S JOURNAL", 75

  Midnight creeps in too slowly and the middle of underneath my feet bite at me, not from outside but within. This happens when the temperature drops and I check and find out it is twenty four degrees and windy. I try to wiggle my toes and catch the edge of the duvet, so I can bend my knees. That will bring the duvet to beside my chest. Then I can toss the covers over me and try to bring my core temperature up.
 A horrifying thing happened, nothing.
  Where Are All My Toes, the thought left me frozen for a while. Finally, I decide to lift my frozen chest from the cold bed, it's difficult and so I use my arms to push myself up. My bones ache and still I did feel any toes and then I see him holding all ten of them. That startled me but what scared me the most is that they were still wiggling...

"ADE'S JOURNAL", 74

       Flow and float, spin and dip into the cool air and fly by. Yes do, not only now but always. The clear crystal drop I race into, has life in it. I can almost see the fish egg and tadpole swirling and dancing about as if in a natural fish bowl. It is one of the millions of drops falling and rising and going with the wild wind blowing this morning. Beside me, birds dance and Bob their heads into the shower from the sky and I stop and decide this is not such a wonderful idea. It was at first, feeling the cold raindrops in my mouth. But now I am not so sure. I feel strange droplets on my hand and burrowing deep down and diving into my skin, I slap it off and scratch. Inevitably making the situation worse and then my allergies started, I had to stop my skin from swelling. And my eyes from watering and then I run to the shade to stop it all. I start to fall and look at my feet, the ground had sunk in and there was a black hole there. As I fall I try to reach out and grab something, anything.

 "ADE'S JOURNAL", 73

     Deep and wide and down to the size of a unique den, I wiggle and try to escape. The sand shifts and warps and knocks me off my feet and encases me in what may be my tomb. As i start to fall further down and keep going deeper into its jaw, unlike any jaw I've ever encountered. The more I struggle, the more I sink into the almost beautiful, even sand particles. The conical den engulfs me and I fight hard not to give up or swallow sand through my nose and mouth. I feel the pincers like jaw reach for my feet and I retract and bend it quickly. Far away from the lion's jaw and try to swim up high towards the sky.
It locks and bites down hard at my feet and drags me down into the abyss. The pain launched me upwards and I jerk and try to shake away the beast that has my limbs. And as I do I snap and break off half of the jaw of my assailant and breath air once again. I look at what could have been my final resting place and heave a sigh of relief. I stand up and walk away knowing that I have survived and will live to fight another day.

"ADE'S JOURNAL", 72

  The rains are here again, six hours on and it just pours and taps at the roof in an uneven manner. Much like life it intensifies and dissipates and then comes and goes. I am wide awake and this rain feels like it will pour all night with an oscillating
intensity that just wont stop. The dark clouds leave and an intense bright thick cloud clusters mercilessly, up above in the dark sky. Then it stopped,not a drop or a whiff of the cold breeze. All that was left was a stiff atmosphere with barely enough air to breathe. Not enough plants to synthesize the air and too much artificial carbon monoxide in circulation. I have stayed too long here and I fear that plastic flows in my veins. My dream of moving to a remote area, off the dream truncated abruptly.