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About Me

My photo

 My story may shock you, but then again your situation may be worse. Delve in and find out....
The best moments are the ones when, that affect people positively and inspire them to laugh and live. 
             But is this, the entire story?
 The Human experience is Unique and every person has something to give, you just need to see it from my perspective and I craft words, actions and events from this very human angle.

Ade's Journal Part 6

Ade's Journal Part 6
My Valentine & The Elegance Of A Clean Breakup

Ade's Journal Part 5

Ade's Journal Part 5
My Scrumptious Valentine Kiss

Ade's Journal Part 4

Ade's Journal Part 4
A Scorpion is not a Lobster

Ade's Journal Part 3

Ade's Journal Part 3
My Insane Week Before Valentine

Ade's Journal Part 2

Ade's Journal Part 2
He Had The Guts To Come Back

Popular Posts

Tuesday, 16 February 2016

My Valentine & The Elegance Of A Clean Breakup


 'ADE'S JOURNAL'  6

    Swirling around in a centrifuge and melting down to blend into my environment. I have been shaped, shamed and shocked by everyone and everything. Creaming hard at the innocent butter and smashing the sides of a translucent plastic. I was determined to make this cake, even if it was no longer for Mr. H.
         Oh, i didn't update you on what happened after my Scrumptious Valentine Kiss. I fell asleep and my arch nemesis Frank called. You know that man you love to hate. I had poured out my heart and realized too late that Mr. H heard everything. He said I lied, made it look like Frank called and not that we were inches apart from kissing. Is it my fault that he came to my office? I have changed jobs and my phone number but its hard getting rid of someone you made vows to spend the rest of your life with. He knows everyone I know and my boss is his in-law. Am I supposed to change jobs again? See the deep wahala I'm in.

    Anyho', Mr. H and I are on a break, yes it escalated and I couldn't really defend myself. Don't think I didn't try, but the more I talked, the deeper in the mess I got. So he's giving me my space, just before valentine. Isn't life funny. I say this because Khadijatu is watching me. She and her boo are going on Mr. H's yatch a day before Valentine, to watch the sun rise together. How very romantic, abeg jare who wants to be floating into Valentine.

'So, you are not going anywhere'
'Please, I'd still bake the cake, then shower dress up and go out...' I placed the cake in the oven and set the timer.
'Where?'

Khadijatu was really making this day before valentine worse than it was, so she's going with a guy she met barely a week ago. I sound jealous right? I am pissed. Mad as hell, but no qualms. I will go and get a table just for me at Pearl garden, order giant lobster with some top chef surprise. I'm taking myself out , no pity parade for me.

'Pearl garden is nice, you bought me lunch there once...'
The girl was stingy, she liked premium food but would not pay more than one thousand naira for a meal. So I paid for both our meals at Pearl Garden restaurant.
'Yep, but don't worry about me, I will go for drinks at Federal Palace hotel after and have my special...'
We both echoed, '...Mango Lada' and laughed.
'You always make going out sound like so much fun...'
What is wrong with this my friend? I can only afford to give myself a treat, no one else.
'Maybe...'

Is this babe for real? I screamed at her.

''Abeg no make me vex, unless you have twenty thousand naira plus petrol money, you better go out with Bala...'
Khadijatu laughed, 'how much is twenty thousand self?'
I gave her the side eye and she scouped up some of the coconut butter icing.

The taxi arrived and honked loud and we both looked out through the window. We side hugged and she left.
I was happy, no sorry releaved that I was finally alone. Not that I had not forgiven her for kissing Frank while I was still dating him. But I could not forget how she betrayed me. And I wanted to work on the flower petals for the coconut cloud cake and she was distracting me big time.
 I showered, and then removed the curls from my  long hair. I loved to go all natural at special occasions. But really it had its downside. I hated people touching my hair, and somehow they assumed once your hair is natural its a free pass to touch it. Bombarding with silly questions like....
Is it your hair?
Did you dye it black?
So its long, why do you fix weaves then?
Really this crazy world of people, not minding their business gets on my nerve. I don't even touch my own hair once its styled. So please, hands off.

Shaa, the cake cooled and I iced it. The top of the cake should have read 'sweetheart'. Instead three Beautiful flowers, innocent and simple. A symbol of the Elegance of a Clean break up.
It may surprise you but I've never had a guy break up a relationship before, with or from me. It's either I got bored, caught them cheating or something. But with Mr. H, it was different. I didn't even send him a pre-valentine text. I wanted my reality to set in well. I was single again and this time, I'm staying single. I wore the pearls he gave me without any remorse. It popped on my navy blue cap sleeve micro gown. I wore my peep toe three inches shoes and grabbed my clutch bag. I looked like three hundred million dollars and was ready for this eve of Valentine's Day.

The chef surprise was a real delight, I loved how tender the lobsters were and loved that I had a table to myself. It felt like I have never done this before, dined alone. I took my time and then drove to the next venue.
I relaxed by the bar and mimed quietly the old school blues love songs. I took a sip of my favorite coconut and rum drink, shut my eyes for a second and opened them.

Mr. H was in front of me smiling and I smiled....
'What are you doing here?'
'Khadijatu said you loooove their Mango Lada, so I'm here to try some...'
He signaled to the waiter and I watched the cloud of white heavenly drink join us. We watched each other and giggled.
'I love this...', he pointed at the entire venue.
'So what are your plans tomorrow?'
'I was going to lodge at the pent house and dance and scream all night, Oh did I mention, watch a movie, dinner at a private beach and then I'd come here and look down at the world'
'Wow, sounds...' And then we both laughed.
'So, I plan to do some volunteer work and I remember..'
'.. Right, I said I'd do it.. Volunteer and walk against all the nasty injustices women face.'
'Then we can do all.. You planned'

I did like the idea of walking against violence but, abeg. He can't just waltz back in here and expect me to just accept him. Yes, even if it was my fault. What's your problem? There you go thinking I'm crazy but I want my apology. I am angry, and yes, angry people can laugh in between their anger. I fiddle with my phone, check what's trending about valentine then drop my phone.
Mr. H takes my hand and I watch him, I missed him but relationship drama's are exhausting. It's like walking on egg shells and then he called, Frank called. Mr. H and I looked at each other.

'Frank keeps calling me, stalking me and I really don't encourage him... It's annoying and...'. I protested.
Mr. H side hugged me and I stopped grumbling and we both relaxed in the couch.
'Dont fall asleep'
I laughed and then rested in his chest, I was comfortable.
'Lets just be honest about everything, and everything else will be less complicated'
I watched him from his chin up and played with his short beard.
'I agree but I don't want to have to talk about my ex every single day'
Kilode, the man is married and living his life, why should he constantly infringe on my own space?
'Agreed, so are we good?'
'We are good?'
'We need to crash early if we are going to really volunteer...'
'How many hours do you think the walk is..'
'Don't worry, we will take it slow.
We didn't go home early, we talked and he gisted me about his friends and work. Told me how he missed me and really was looking forward to me grumbling about valentine's day walk. I assured him I would not grumble and reminded him that I was half his age. He laughed and said the age gap was not that much.

Valentine morning was the best, I woke up smiling. I got out my marinated turkey from the fridge and cooked it. Chopped some vegetables and carrots and then made some jollof rice, all these before six. I showered and kacked up for my walk. New trainers, new track bottoms and a light long sleeve top. Yes, cause I would get a t-shirt at the venue. I bounced and strutted to the venue, feeling very happy with myself. This is the first time in my life time that Valentine isn't about me. I got there and there were hundreds of volunteers waiting. I registered and got my t-shirt. I was surprised to see lots of children and my new diplomat friend and blogger said we need to remind children, girls and boys that it was okay to say 'no'. Any situation they felt uncomfortable with they should speak out. She was lovely and very well organized but I was distracted. She touched me by my hand and said Mr. H was over there. I chuckled and thanked her, goodness am I that transparent?
Mr. H spotted me and waved, he was with teachers and counsellors and around him were pupils who volunteered for the walk.
I joined him and we side hugged, I got flyers and stickers for the campaign. Mr. H introduced me to government officials and CEO's of some of the sponsors of the event.

The walk was fun until one hour into it, my legs got wobbly and I lost control of my ankles, I wanted to stop but the excitement and energy these under twelves had put me to shame. Yes, I was one of those people that never exercised, I mean never. Okay I did once, no twice. I had added a little too much weight from first, because my former company crashed. Then because of my ex, all my aunties and big uncles kept calling me. Asking and trying to understand why the marriage they bought Aso Ebi for, didn't take place. So, right now in this very moment. I am having a hard time with this walk. We shared flyers, met people with genuine questions and some who just joked about the campaign against violence. It was annoying to hear people blame some women for attracting assault because of the way they dressed. Really, in this millennium. Most people recognize the attitude has to change and it was good to talk about it because the violence seemed to be escalating in our society. Thank God we have help centres now that people can call and go to.

Omo, my entire body ached and with my mind played serious tricks on me. I imagined that i dragged the finish line closer and closer, yet it stayed far away and still i marched on. Kai, age has nothing to do with this, its all about practice and my body was out of practice. I met some 'Nigerian or should I say Nollywood actresses and actors, some from Yoruba movies and others English speaking home videos. You have to love their upbeat personalities, they informed me that days ago they were part of the Lagos marathon. I think I heard them say it was 42 kilometers, I'm not sure. Kai, them try oooo. I was invited for another walk to raise funds for idp's. I was going to ask what that was when Mr. H added, Internally Displaced People. Wow, people were fighting the fight. I stretched and walked onwards until finally, I got to the finish line. I was pumped and didn't want to sit down, but Mr. H sat on a swing and invited me to join him.
'Congratulations and happy valentine..'
'You too...'

I did a little networking and watched about four birthday cakes surface. I took pictures and uploaded them. I felt accomplished and listened as pledges to end violence and educational booklets went round. Mr. H looked around and asked where my car was, I didn't bring it cause I knew I would not have the strength to drive back.
 The ride to my house was exciting as I recapped all the people I met, the children that impressed me and really I was looking forward to another walk.
Mr. H was happy I was happy, he entered my house and shrieked. I was a bit confused.

'You baked a cake for me?'
'I didn't know if you would show up....'
'It is beautiful and a maroon rose...And no writing on the cake just like I like it...'
I was really in shock, why was this cake a big deal to Mr. H?

'I don't mind when anyone buys me a cake but I've always wanted a home made cake. And how did you make the icing have jaggers?', he said as he touched the cake.
'Its grated coconuts....'
He smelled the air and looked around
'You cooked this morning? Thank goodness, I am starving'.

I got the coolers out and served our meal, Mr. H was hungry and enjoyed it. Then squeezed my hand.
'You can cook, bravo'
I giggled and got a knife for the cake, Mr. H watched the swirls in the cake and I laughed. It looked like he wanted to preserve this moment for life. I got out my smart phone and took a picture. Then scuttled to his lap and took a selfie with him in it and uploaded it on Facebook. I was not worried that I had no make up on, or that his plate was empty. I was genuinely happy and loved that he appreciated all the efforts I put into making today memorable. I hugged my man and Mr. H got a bag from under my table. I opened the gift and it was, a set of massive gold loop earings and charm bracelets with the charms complete. I always wanted these but I could never afford it, not with my rent, car serving charges and all.

We rested all afternoon and took turns and showered, he had a change of clothes in his car and looked sharp. And then, me and my boo headed to a new restaurant with a top chef and I love when I go out and the meal is well prepared and delicious. Then we drove to the bank of the lagoon to a boat club and I smiled.
'We will watch the sun set together and if you like, we could do this together, forever'

I was speechless and just followed him, my phone rang and it was, big surprise, Frank. I switched off the phone and marched up to Mr. H's car. He unlocked it and I threw it into his glove compartment. Nonsense, i definitely need a new phone.
I marched up to the boat club and asked with a huge smile, 'you were saying...'

Mr. H laughed and said, 'I was declaring to you my dear, that this for me is real. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, have children with you. But I will wait till you have healed completely and then we will be married'
'Really?'
'Yes, I will propose the best way I can and you will be so smitten, you will say yes'
'I can't wait..', I whispered in his ear and his yatch arrived. I have been on boats before but this was massive. I was happy and impressed, then I remembered my friend and made a face.
'Don't worry, no Khadijatu or Bala, its just us'
He lifted me off my feet and I was in shock and covered my face, because of the bottler watching us. And when we were on board he placed me down gently. The interior was exquisite and I was in awe of everything.
The sun set was beautiful, I almost cried and then I remembered my phone was not on board.
'You can use my phone..'
I laughed and took a picture of us in the sun set. I loved this life and I was determined to live it. We waltz to Mozart and danced to shoki the shoki. If you don't know the song, its Lil Kesh catchy dance tune and moves, 'Abeg go watch am for YouTube jare. I had a smashing time and drank champagne, yes until I was tipsy and laughing at the atlantic ocean sea waves.
Yes o, I felt free and happy and fulfilled, this was the best Valentine ever.

I woke up and felt the waves underneath me, I stretched and smiled at the beautiful room and massaged the soft bed covers with my body. Then I remembered that today is Monday, I have work. I dived into the bathroom and showered quick. I looked round for my clothes and saw a smart gown and put it on. As I stepped out, the sun rise made me stop, wow it looked like something out of the movies. Mr. H gave me a morning peck and for a moment we watched the sun. I snapped out of it and I echoed, 'I'm late, I'm late'
He laughed and said I was not, that we had docked at the Civic center close to Bony camp. I looked up and recognized the building and breathe for the first time since I showered. We had breakfast and he drove me to work, we kissed and said goodbye and he handed me my phone. I had almost forgotten it self, I started to walk into the office and felt the dress I had on. It was silky smooth with a touch of cotton and wool and I kinda cat walked in it.

As I entered the office, I said hi to everyone with a huge smile and walked as if I was on a fashion runway.
'I can see that your Valentine was sweet..', a work colleague announced.
 'Scrumptious', I announced and continued to strut towards my office. I walked pass a familiar face but could not be bothered. Na today, I knew all his games and I was ready.

'How was Valentine?', Frank asked me and I didn't answer. He watched me and admired me in my smart expensive dress. I didn't blame him, this babe is smoking hot.
'What do you want? My bosses office is that way'. I didn't shout, I was firm.
'I know I have no right to speak to you but I wanted to see you...'
Orisirisi, all sorts. I will give the security men a piece of my mind once he leaves.
I refused to open my office door, nope he was not allowed in. He looked tired, as if he did not sleep. What do I care?
'I just wanted you to know that I have left my wife...'
So, freaking what, how is this any of my business? This boy is good, he thinks I will fall for this.
'I know you can't forgive me, but I loved you completely. And i will never stop loving you....'
'Na today, love boku for ocean. Abeg commot for here jare'. I was irritated by him.
'... I have made my mistakes but now I know better, I have filed for the divorce in ikoyi and we both want it over. So, I just wanted you to know'
And I watched him walk away, with his head down and looking really sad. I wanted to say something but I was tongue tied.

Is this for real? Could Frank really, really be getting a divorce?



**Season 1, Episode 6**
***COPYRIGHT 2016 'ADE'S JOURNAL' (P6)***
***BUSOLA ELEGBEDE***

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