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About Me

My photo

 My story may shock you, but then again your situation may be worse. Delve in and find out....
The best moments are the ones when, that affect people positively and inspire them to laugh and live. 
             But is this, the entire story?
 The Human experience is Unique and every person has something to give, you just need to see it from my perspective and I craft words, actions and events from this very human angle.

Ade's Journal Part 6

Ade's Journal Part 6
My Valentine & The Elegance Of A Clean Breakup

Ade's Journal Part 5

Ade's Journal Part 5
My Scrumptious Valentine Kiss

Ade's Journal Part 4

Ade's Journal Part 4
A Scorpion is not a Lobster

Ade's Journal Part 3

Ade's Journal Part 3
My Insane Week Before Valentine

Ade's Journal Part 2

Ade's Journal Part 2
He Had The Guts To Come Back

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Tuesday, 15 March 2016

Drum's Of Love Beating On White Valentine's Day


  'ADE'S JOURNAL' 14


  •      Oscillating top skin clash with wooden sticks, bent on an edge and twisted to spring up the sound. Created by repeated slaps of your strong influencial hands, making all the maiden dance to your tune. Galloping and strut quick like a happy seahorse, moving towards you my love. Tainted by memories of my first true love or is it my second or third. Only God knows when it will type full stop on love.
Like a tired eagle, knocked off its nest, by a feather light brain wind washed ashore with regret. I give you dew and ash with all your foiled plans basking and dripping like a puppy eagret soaking wet.
    Oh how sour is the taste of a traitor that coveted all you have, that hides in the bushes, waiting to strike.
    How am I supposed to forgive your betrayal, spanning three years. By my calculations seventy by seventy days too much to forgive. Now you throw in my face the seed of betrayal. By having the guts to come to me.
''Ade, hi', Khadijatu said as if nothing had happened.
I keep on walking, there's no need for any small talk or any reason to stop.
She hurries after me and I don't look back.
'Please, I can't help but feel guilty. I should never have started this. But this innocent child...'
The cheapskate. Wetin concern me, concern say you get pikin? So, who cares? I keep on walking.
     Jeje, I was going oh. Minding my own business and then, she touched me. Hehn the stupid idiot just touched me.
'Please wait', she screamed at me and pinched and pulled me to a stop.
   I shove her. I push her with three years of pilled on rage and she staggered and almost fell. Yes, judge me, but she assaulted me. Invaded my private space. I point at her and bite my lips, because all I would have said would have finished the stupid fanatic.
She laughed.
'Oh, now. This is funny, abi?'
'You can be angry at me, but my pastor said...'
I started laughing and walked away.
'My pastor said..', I mocked her and laughed. Nigerian women won't kill me o, after all the sin and treacherous moves. She now knows she should seek spiritual advice.
''Ade, please this child is innocent and her life is precious. Please don't curse her and put the sins of her father upon her'.
I stop walking and clap my hands.

Orisirisi.

'Did you go to Lara to ask for forgiveness?'
Khadijatu folds her hands across her chest.
'My own is small, as long as you knowingly destroyed, no, broke their home. All the curses of a fornicator shall befall you and your generations..'.
The silly girl knows me and knows I am soft, that's why she is here. I trust Lara, she would beat this clueless thing black and blue.
'God forbid bad thing', Khadijatu snapped her finger over her own head.
'You think it's just my forgiveness you need, there is Lara and ten others out there. Frank wants children and he knows not one woman will give him ten children on his mingy salary. So my dear friend, go to your pastor. Update him and tell him that the curses on you are unlimited and that actions have consequences. Fasting, bribery, nothing will spare you from the punishment coming'
  Now, I know to you this all sounds childish and like empty threats. But to a pregnant Nigerian woman, pregnancy is the peak of spiritual warfare. She is her strongest or weakest, she is paranoid or nonchalant. But put yourself in Khadijatu's shoes. Yes she is all the negatives and much more.
  'I know you won't forgive me now, but once you and Mr. H are married. You will be too busy raising your own family to care about mine..'
'And who told you about my upcoming marriage?' It was a rhetorical question and she knew better than to answer.
'Did he tell you how that day progressed?'

 If you have not guessed it by now, I will make it clear that I am planting seeds. So, watch and learn.
'Did Frank tell you what we did?'
Her eyes widened out of curiosity and she shook her head once.
'Did he tell you, how we kissed'
'... You are lying.. Frank will never kiss you'
'...Have you ever wondered why he keeps coming back to me?'
'You are not the one carrying his baby..'
'I know Frank, this baby is too precious, and you pregnant, well... Let's just say he has to get it elsewhere..'
'Frank wouldn't..'
'How many times did you beg him to come back to you? Bribe him that you are willing to do everything... I am and will always be his one true love... All others are baby making machines..'
She struck me, but I was expecting it and blocked it.
'So enjoy been the house maid, I will always have him at my Beck and call... And when I am ready, I will give him his favorite love child'.
   There are happy butterflies dancing in my stomach. I feel great, feel on top of the world as I twist and walk away. Yes, o. This babe is slaying all the enemies that come her way.
'... And leave Mr. H'.
Khadijatu's words make me stop.
'You love the lifestyle too much to let go of Mr. H and his diplomatic Friend's. The rest of us were always too razz, too local to meet up to your standard'

Mmmhf, na real wa.

    Khadijatu was right and she was now standing in front of me, challenging me to deny it. I could not, the girl knew exactly who I was. I shake my head and laugh.
'Who says you can't have it all, Mr. H knows I love Frank and does not mind. He knows we kissed and frolicked together and yet he stays. I will have twins for Mr. H and then twins for Frank. After all I can now afford it'

    I spot Mr. H's car in the distance and wave and enter it. I did not look back, there was no need. The seed of doubt had been planted and now, I have done as Frank does to my relationship, disrupted their trust and peace of mind.
  Nonsense.
Mr. H gives me a peck and I kiss him and relax back into my seat.
'What did Khadijatu want?', Mr. H asked and tilts his head to the side, waiting for my answer. I was too busy smiling. Then I realize that I have not answered.
'.. To tell me that she is having a girl', I strap on my seatbelt.
'You told her about Frank right'
 Mr. H was talking about the forced kiss and I think he suspects that I remixed the truth alittle, so I become all defensive.
'The girl would not leave me alone, she thinks we can all be friends'
'You told her about Bala...'
'... Yes and even better than that, she thinks, I am the one getting married. Frank gisted her..'
'Your friends have too much time on their hands..', Mr. H starts to drive off.
'Former friends, we have nothing in common now or ever'.
Mr. H massages my shoulders and stops because there is no tension there. I shut my eyes and rest my head.
'Today, is a good day'.

'Ade, let me take you somewhere..'
'Where?'
'You'll see'
I tried hard to arm wrestle our destination but could not guess. As we drove past Ajah, I gave him the side eye.
'Are we going to Eleko beach', I was not in the mood for Beach Sand mess.
'Maybe next time'
As we passed old Julius Berger bridge, I knew.
'We are going to Ijebu, why are you taking this route?'
'That's to your left, what's to your right?'
'You are not serious o, what are we going to do in Epe?'
'Something my cousins and I used to try...'
'I'm not eating any crocodiles or turtle o'
'Why do you think I eat any of those?'
'My sister schooled in LASU Epe, we went to the fish market and they sold all sorts there'
'The crabs are legendary....'
'Yes o, I can almost taste them'
'Exactly, we can get some too. But I just want you to be with me....'
  As we arrived at an old home with ancient architectural design over looking a brackish lagoon. It was cool and beautiful.
'Wow, is this yours?'
'Eh Hehn'
'It's lovely'
'I used to try to make skid marks with pebbles in the flood light. Although back then, this building was roofless and my father put up a mud structure'
'Are you for real?'
'It's ancestral land.....'
'Wow, this is so cool and the floodlights... It gives the lagoon a silverfish gray shiny surface. I'm tempted to dive in'
'.... Its to discourage crocodiles from making this their home'
  I scuttle to his back.
'I know about Epe juju, your crocodiles and snakes don't bite indigenes. Got that from LASUITE'S'
'There's always the exception to the rule; this side is elevated, it's fine'
'Let's just try in the morning then if you're scared'
'I am but let's try now', I wanted to do it now.
  Thirty minutes in, and I had made just two skids on the surface of the lagoon. I scream, celebrate my success and hug him. Then, I hear a big splash in the water. I was on top of Mr. H screaming in fear for my life.
'It's just some catfish...'
'Please let's do this in the morning'
'Okay', Mr. H was laughing.
'You move fast when you are scared'
  I cover my face in shame, no be my fault o.
 Inside the old school house the décor was very Victorian with Chinese vase and lamps and Nigerian clay pots and wooden carvings.
'I wanted it to reflect it's English influence with a Nigerian twist. That is a replica of Nok culture clay figure and a Yoruba wooden mask, an Edo bronze mask and a bronze carving of an Oba in Ife'
'It's nice'
He kissed me and I stop him and give him a little box.
'What is this?'
'I love that you give me gifts and so it's my turn'
He was still in shock when he opened it.
'Happy White Valentine's Day', I shrieked and kiss him on his cheek. Yes, Ajoke has influenced me in someway. My show of affection has an animated touch to it now.
It was a combination of most of my gold jewellery melted down to form cufflinks. I could not afford to pay for it so I paid my Goldsmith with the rest of my gold.
I've never seen Mr. H speechless before but right now, he was.
'Do you like it?'
'Wow, it's custom made and really nice. Thank you',

     Mr. H hugged me and didn't say anything for like two minutes. I could feel his heart beating on mine, like  Drum's Of Love Beating On White Valentine's Day

 And when Mr. H finally spoke he asked, 'how? It looks... How?'.
'My Goldsmith is good, he lived and interned in Italy for years'
'How did you pay?'
'In gold, I am a collector and since you upgraded my collection. I wanted to upgrade yours'
'What's White valentine's day?'
'White valentine's day is of Japanese origin, its White Day on March 14th, a month after Valentine's Day. Men give return gifts to women who gifted them chocolates on Valentine's Day. I know I baked you a cake but it had chocolate cream between'
'But I didn't give you anything and you gave me all your gold'
'A symbol of all my heart, they are heart shaped in the middle with H on it'. I actually wanted to add my own initials too but I didn't want to jinx it, so didn't.
    Mr. H hugged me again and we sat down and watched 'Fadeyi Oloro' recordings. It was my best NTA series on television when I was in primary school. I had the best night ever with Mr.H.

  The morning fog tasted fresh and delicious
And I made us some fresh crab salad and pepper soup. I could not resist, it tasted fresh and as I sucked it's inner shell legs, Mr. H watched me. I laughed, I know I was loud but I could not help myself.
'I like this side of you, you're always so prim and proper'
'Hehn, coming from Mr. Perfection'
Mr. H cracked the claws with his teeth, an attempt to be razz but even he, made that look classy. I laughed again and love this taste of freshness, this moment of joy.
'You are Beautiful when you laugh'
My phone rang and then died, I did not charge it all of yesterday and my other phone was dead. I used his charger to charge my phones and then his phone rang. Mr. H picked it up and laughed.
'It's Bala, for you'
'Me?'
I tried to stay calm as my nerves began to jump everywhere.
'Eh, hehn Ade, can you come? My oldest trawler is docked for the day'. Mr. Bala's voice was firm and authoritative.
I give Mr. H a look and he nods his head, we just silently communicated. Isn't this cute?
'I can assemble the media team in two hours but the outfits'
'Call your designer..... So what time?'
I had to calculate how long it will take to assemble my team.
'Tonight by seven?'
'Done'
I gave the phone to Mr. H and start to pace Up and down the room, waiting for Mr. H to drop the phone.
'So, we will see you later then'
As Mr. H drops his phone.
'I need to call Celine, I need her number and we need to go...'
Mr. H hands me his phone and gives me the password. I unlock it and call Celine, thank God. She will come with all sizes of clothing with five custom made designs each'
She needed payment and I freeze.
A text comes into my phone and then I check it. Seventy five percent payment was in, as signed and agreed by Bala and my company Whirlwindrush.
'Hello, are you there?'
I nod my head and answer.
'Will transfer it now... Em, at twenty percent right?'
Celine was silent, because our initial agreement was fifteen.
'If you buy all the five outfits for the entire bridal train....'
'Less my commission and it's a deal'
'Kai, 'Ade. You like money'
'My company is shutting down and I'm tired of working for people. It's my time'
'Nice, so transfer full payment, in the next thirty minutes and we will deliver in one hour'
'I'll send the contract for the five outfits for the bridal train'
'Perfect'
 The Internet network messed up and delayed for five minutes. I typed, signed and scanned the documents and then sent it to Celine. Celine sent me the document with her signature. Finally the bank transfer was successful and Mr H drove us back home.

    It was a fun night, with the girls having such a great time laughing, posing and catwalking and the men watching us work. Ajoke's friend could not believe they were getting paid and going home with the outfits. They all insisted we become friends on Facebook and BBM. I agreed and we put them up at a hotel because it was three am by the time we finished.
   Ajoke was mad at me for accepting her friends request. And I informed her I had not. It was an awkward moment. She didn't mind BBM but Facebook was a no, no. I let it go and she explained that they were raz and desperate. More than she was and she wanted to leave the leeches behind. It was unfair on them but it was her choice.

    We drove home and I slept like a baby, there was no going to church for me. I informed Mr. H who had an old friends invitation. I need to recoup and be revamped. I woke up by noon, tired and hungry. I had some of the left over pepper soup and watched my phone ring. Ten missed calls from Nnoye. She was in front of my gate. I sent her a text with directions to Mr. H's house and jumped into the bathroom.
   Nnoye walked in and she looked different, her layers of clothing were off and she had on a black sleeveless gown.
'Wow, I don't think I've ever seen your arms before'
'I'm revealing everything... He didn't want me in sleeveless or black. So I stopped. He didn't want me in lighter clothes, so I layered up. I did everything for him, to make him happy and now, this'
'So your husband got the house girl pregnant?'
'Oh thank God, no. The girl was five months pregnant. Thank God you told me to do a test. It was her boyfriend in some village that told her to accuse my man and siphon money from us'
'My goodness..'
'That they watched a Nollywood movie where the trick worked'
'I don't get it, so what's the problem?'
'His wife from London is in town and he didn't tell me. I caught them'
'It's a lie... How?'
'I was on my way to Mile 12, to shop for my cousins wedding. When I was told it was shut down....'
'I heard it was horrible and that people were beheaded and burnt'
'Sad, really sad. Who beheads someone in 2016?'
'May God Almighty not let us walk in the path of demons disguised as men'
'Amen ooo, they have shut the market down permanently and relocated them to Ogun state'
'Na wa, may their families get justice...'
'Some of the criminals were caught.. Shaaaa, I didn't know any other market, so I entered Idumota. And low and behold, who did I see driving a latest Toyota Rav 4 in Idumota traffic? His bloated wife and my greedy husband by her side'
'Did they see you?'
'No, and he called to say his sister was in town, alone so he would stay in a hotel with her'

    I was quiet, number one, it was a lame excuse and number two, he was legally married to his first wife. So what did Nnoye expect me to say? Orisirisi.

'I know, I have been such a horrible person and i have lied to everyone about the entire situation. I don't even know how to get out of it'

        Nnoye was a sweet person but the babe was a first class liar. I mean she could lie.
In fact, I remember standing in front of her house and her father drove to us. He was mad as hell and wanted to know why my friend had not graduated. I knew the answer and just  looked at the poor old man. My friend had been my roommate alright, but by final year the student union body forcefully evicted all fake students. Nnoye was one of them. It is still confusing till today but I know, at her own pace she will tell the truth.

'I could have taken... Retaken my WAEC exams and gotten a valid degree in school. I should have finished my Nicki Africana fashion designer course. I could have done so much but I could not face the truth. It's over for me, I'm done'
'Why do you think it's over?'
'You know my story'
'Did you not hear of the fifty nine year old Nollywood actress that only started to fulfill her acting dreams because all her children finally finished university. A condition her husband imposed on her when she shared her dream'
'I'm not fifty nine, I'm not even forty... Don't think I lied about my age'
'It doesn't matter, the past is dead, rewrite your future'
'Is your past with Frank dead?'
'Khadijatu is pregnant and came to my office'
'The stupid naive thing'
'Don't throw stones o'

      Nnoye jumped up from the couch and threw her bag down. At this point, I have to ask. Why are all my friends psycho's?

'Don't rob it in my face, you are not perfect. After all, you are camping with a man you have not yet married. There is no ring, so don't even try to lecture me'

    I laugh, not because the truth hurts but because she thinks it's Ade from the last millennium.
'So, what do you want me to do? Buy a fake ring and bribe a fake pastor to marry us or Photoshop a wedding picture of us together?'
   Nnoye was panting, I know she has guazzzz. Just look at the biceps on her and I know she is strong; I have seen her pound yam the old school way. None of that disturbs me, what I know is that I will not fight her. I will only fast track her arrest and get her charged for assault. Ha, it's actually refreshing be aware of my rights and know that I am well connected.
  Nnoye seemed confused, she looked at me and started crying.
'And that will do what? See it's time and only you can take action to change your life'
She looked up at me.
'So you knew it was Photoshop?'
'Badly done for that matter', and we both laugh.
'Everybody leaves when they find out the truth...'
'See this babe o, then do something about it'
   Suddenly, Ajoke's move to get rid of old friends made sense.
'I'll try'
'Where is Etim?'
'In church with his grandma. His grandpa does not trust me and we hardly talk'
It was getting depressing.
'Let's go and watch a movie'
'And get shawama. I'm in the mood to indulge'
I laugh and I drove Mr. H's Mercedes to the cinema. I would join him later on at the friends party. Nnoye wanted to come but I told her it was a private party. I wanted the night all to myself.
My boss called and I frown, what did he want again. This time.
I pick it up and he is screaming at me, I move the phone away from my ears.
'What is it? Is it Frank, Khadijatu?', Nnoye asked licking the shawama sauce on her fingers.
It's my boss.
'On Sunday, what's his problem?'
'I don't know'
I listen.
'Why on earth would you use this company to promote yourself?'

You see this man, eh. He is looking for my trouble and he will find it.




**Season 1, Episode 14**
**"ADE'S JOURNAL" 14, COPYRIGHT 2016 **
**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE, COPYRIGHT 2016**
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