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About Me

My photo

 My story may shock you, but then again your situation may be worse. Delve in and find out....
The best moments are the ones when, that affect people positively and inspire them to laugh and live. 
             But is this, the entire story?
 The Human experience is Unique and every person has something to give, you just need to see it from my perspective and I craft words, actions and events from this very human angle.

Ade's Journal Part 6

Ade's Journal Part 6
My Valentine & The Elegance Of A Clean Breakup

Ade's Journal Part 5

Ade's Journal Part 5
My Scrumptious Valentine Kiss

Ade's Journal Part 4

Ade's Journal Part 4
A Scorpion is not a Lobster

Ade's Journal Part 3

Ade's Journal Part 3
My Insane Week Before Valentine

Ade's Journal Part 2

Ade's Journal Part 2
He Had The Guts To Come Back

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Friday, 11 March 2016

Forgive Me For Dreaming Out Loud


"ADE'S JOURNAL" 13

         Forgive me for dreaming Out aloud, of a sweet future cushioned by a fruitful tree of life. Now a sad picture, lame and without claim, destroyed by your silly move. Zero value for your stroke is unoriginal, recognizable even by strangers passing by. You laugh like a hyena, nose deep and teeth sink hard on pure white bones. Crushing all fantasies of a reunion untold, how scared and silly I must look to everyone watching. My pride is shattered, bloated and tender with stolen joy. Now riddled and broken with hernia, that prevent me from standing tall and upright. I whisper my despair as he finally comes near. Your sorrows sliced me open and now I feel my voice lost forever. And now I must face the consequences...
  I am dressed to kill, prepared for my business lunch and know most of the clients in Bala's two failed marriages. You know that saying, err, 'be prepared'. I am battle ready and I know for sure that Bala will be impressed. That is not what is bothering me, I am worried about how Mr. H will handle my revelation. Sure, it's not my fault but still, I feel guilty.
     I was naive to have fantasized for so long that, Frank would woo me back in the most romantic manner and that it would be epic. Some silly story, I will share at some lame wedding with friends. Instead the memory has left a bad taste in my mouth, I mean it literally. Frank jumped on me , violated my space and kissed me without my consent. It was definitely my worse kiss ever. It felt like someone shoved those horrible shelless snails, what are they called again? Oh yea, slugs, in my mouth and  it was totally disgusting. I wanted to crush his head for ending my fantasies, or should I thank him? I'm not sure.

I digress a little.

  Like i said, i was prepared business wise but relationship wise, I was clueless. Mr. H is coming home to this horrid story, the poor guy, has been patient with me and tried his very best to help me out of my predicament. Now I feel like... I know I sound like a broken record, but it's Frank's fault. I didn't go to him, he came to me. I didn't chase him, he stalked me.

The door opens and I stand up.

'Hey beautiful, let me look at you'
I force a smile and as he spins me round, I let him.
'It's perfect, do you like it?'
'I loved it so much, I kept all three outfits'
'That's my girl, now lets start heading out... You are frowning'
'Yes, my phone network has for the past three months subscribed me to some lame mobile magazine and I just found out'
'Did you get your money back?'
'No, I just wanted them to stop robbing me of my money'
'... If you don't hold them accountable, how will they ever stop ripping people off...'

  It sounded like a good ice breaker, when I thought of ways to ease into the main topic I was trying to avoid. But in reality, talking about my phone network only made this, worse. And as Mr. H led me out, I knew I had to do something, fast.
'...Sweety, wait, we need to talk', I pull him to the couch and he does not protest.
'I was at my place today, Celine drove me there and...'
Mr. H shook his head, 'no'.
I nod mine once.
'He didn't ...'
'I slapped him and...'
Mr. H stood up and bit his clenched fist.
''Ade, what did he do?'
'I didn't encourage him.. He kissed me and...'
Mr. H picked up his phone and started calling.
'There's no need for that...'
'What is wrong with you, you had to hit him to get him off you. What if it got worse?'

   I wanted to enter the ground and just stay there. It's the first time Mr. H shouted at me and his eyes were blood shot red. I was nervous and just froze, I could not talk.
'Okay, so I should not involve the DPO or do anything'
'It's all kind of embarrassing...'
'And you struggling with him on a street you call yours isnt?'
I was pulling at my fingers and trying to stay calm.
'I'm still shaking...'
'He won't stop, this Obsession he has, will only escalate'
'So what do I do?'
'Get ahead of this.... Take back your control in here...'
Mr. H points at his own head.
'Then in here', he points at his heart.
'Let's fight this menace, together...'
'Khadijatu is pregnant..'
Mr. H laughs and I got confused, I know it's the last aspect of the situation I should be concerned with.
'Mind games, all of it is all to mess up your mind. Of course she's pregnant. All part of his plan, next he will be comparing the sex of his children...'
  Kai, this Mr. H has thought of everything, meanwhile I on the other hand underestimated my ex.
'God', I exhale hard and shake my head. He is right, I've been played.
For some strange reason, I panic. What if he set me up, recorded the event to use in court or something. I stand up and smooth my hair back and away from my face.
'You are right, call the DPO. He may even claim I assaulted him for no reason'.
The thought of my face splashed on newspapers and potrayed negatively crossed my mind.
'Where there witnesses?'
'Celine and the Mallam opposite my house...'
'Good'
   I shake my head and Mr. H rests my head on his shoulders and leans back into the chair. What kind of evil calculating man is this Frank?
'Should we cancel our lunch date?'
'For wetin, 'Abeg I'm ready to slay any dragon in my way'
'That's the spirit, let's go'
'You want try me', I said, laughing out loud.

   Bala and Ajoke stood up just as they spotted me. I tiptoe to his babe and side kiss the air beside her ears. She liked it and shrieked and hugged me. Mr. H shook Bala and they greeted one another.
Bala liked how I looked and asked who my designer was.
'A special lady that does sit downs and custom makes whatever it is you desire..'. Don't even say anything, of course I had to be evasive, how else am I going to make a commission? Besides, he knows Celine and he is a shrewd business man. He will try to cut cost if I am not sharp about this situation.
'Ajoke needs all the help you can give her...', Bala said as he sipped on what looked like pomegranate juice. I must have judged him with my eyes because of what he said, next.
'It's Ajoke's dressing raising my blood pressure...'
'Ajoke screamed and planted kisses on Bala's cheeks.
'Don't mind him, he likes.. No loves my dressing. He just does not like the fabric...' Ajoke tried to defend herself.
'So, you can work with her, after my business with 'Ade of course'
She hugged him and made a sign like she zipped her mouth and faced me.

I inhaled deeply and explained to Bala what his family liked about the first marriage and didn't. What his second marriage improved on and the cakes they preferred. He quizzed me about wood merchants and the farmers in his family. He just wanted to know how much attention I paid to details.
'Ajoke was smiling and Mr. H nodding his head. I nailed it.
'Have you guys finished?' Ajoke asked with her hand slowly touching Bala's.
'Wetin happen?'
'I want the whole world to know I am getting married'
'How?', Bala tried to sound as local as possible.
''Ade, your company does billboards, high end, media playing ones right?'
'Ajoke...', Bala snapped at her.
'This is my one and only wedding o', she pouted her lips.
'Go ahead', Bala liked his scandalous babes drama.
'So what do you want?'
'The bridal train walking and then posing, like it's a reality show'
My mouth froze open and Mr. H squeezed my hand and I snapped out of it.
'It's perfect, the world sees my bride and her friends and will be looking forward to the wedding'.
Bala was right, in fact I could picture something unique.
'It should be, on one of your trawler's, the oldest... The contrast of a new bride and fresh faces on an old trawler.. Classic'
   I listened to myself and could picture the tagline on the media and smiled.
'Say it', Bala said.
'The latest catch', I whispered.
     Mr. H chuckled and Bala stood up.
'Walahi, Mr. H, this your 'Ade is too much. She has packaged my Ajoke and business and repackaged them together'
    I whip out the documents and Bala and I pegged the cost of doing business at plus or minus ten percent. Just as a hedge to protect the deal, in case of economic surprises.
'What about me?' Ajoke asked.
'You are the star of the show, the bride all of us will walk behind'
'My friends will just die', Ajoke screamed, whipped out her phone.
   I stop her.
'If you share this online or via text, another company will pick it up...'
'It's true o, wo mi. What was I thinking?'
The rest of lunch was great and Mr. H got a call from one of his clients.

'Come clubbing with me tonight', Ajoke said but I did not hear her. I was watching Mr. H, admiring him.
'Ajoke touched me and I looked at her.
'Eh, what'
'Club tonight, it's exclusive so Bala and Mr. H can attend'
'When?'
'Tonight'
    I looked at Mr. H. Have I become one of those girls that seek permission from a man before stepping out? No, this was not good at all. Biko nu, before you castigate me, wait now, listen.
    I am currently car-less, avoiding my home and squatting with Mr. H. I had some cash with me, but I could not pay for a cab or entry into an exclusive club.
'I am a member, so relax', Mr. H said and I try to smile. What about what I would wear? Then I remembered Celine had come over with clothes.

   My phone rings and I look at it. It's Nnoye. I look at Bala and he has picked up his two phones.
A sure sign he was done, and about to leave, Ajoke got up and blew me a kiss as she hugged Bala and galloped behind him. Mr. H was still on the phone, so I still had time.
'Hello'
'Hi, 'Ade, where are you?'
'Just finished lunch with Mr. H, Bala and Ajoke...'
'Can you come around?'
'My car is bad but I'll talk to Mr. H'
'Abeg, Please, even if it is for five minutes'
'I'll try, say hi to Etim and your husband'
'Just come, abeg'

   She did not need to tell me, I knew what was up. It was relationship drama.
Mr. H did not mind and said he would drive me to Nnoye's place. I was calculating and hoping that she would buy the outfits' I promised Celine that I would sell.

   At Mr. H's place, dressed and ready it was a struggle. A big one to keep my clothes on, I was so turned on by  how protected and loved I felt. It was hard to resist, he loved my curves and I loved his bone structure. But I had to stay focused, sin would only put me on a path of destruction. So I did what any respectable person would. I used my friend Nnoye to lie.
'Let me, just see her briefly'
And it worked.

   My palm felt the fabric and the form around my hips. Yes o, if you have not guessed by now, know this. I am obsessed with how great I look. My natural, no effort beauty is a blessing I relish and enjoy. Mr. H watched me as I cat walk in my nude bandaged gown and my hour glass figure in it. Oh how I'm going to impress tonight.
  As I sway, up her stairs in six inch high heels, I ask myself.
'Who are you posing for?'
The answer is simple, I wore these shoes to prove to Ajoke that, I still got game. The problem on ground is that my cute, two little toes disagree. They throbe and turn pink from the pressure of been squashed into a tiny space. For a brief moment, I consider changing to my backup shoes, a one and a half pair of office shoes.
'Nnoye better be home, or I will skin you alive.' My knees were shaking and I pushed myself upright on the staircase railings.
As I enter I watch her and know this is serious.
  Nnoye's child is on the floor crying and she is just there watching.
'Nnoye, what is going on?'
'My house girl is pregnant'
'Eh Hehn, and so?'
'She said it's my husband's oooo'
I was quiet for a while, ready to blame all men for been weak. But we all know that all general statements and stereotypes are wrong.
'Are you sure? She could be lying'
'He denied it, but I am not sure. He was always soft with her, quick to her defense...'
'Nnoye, let's not be in a haste to..'
'... Eh, eh o. Don't defend him, you of all people, know alot, all about betrayal...'
I smooth my dress and try not to wrinkle it.
'...I was really hoping you'll buy a dress..'. Did I say that loud?
What is wrong with You, 'Ade? I tried to talk to myself.
'Dress, 'Ade you don't get what is happening here... I have been bus-sing round town. Gave up my car for my husband, covered up...'
'.. Because you care'
'Stop am o. Just end it, now, now'
'So I should agree with you and nail him to the cross?'
'I paid for this house, paid for his business ideas'
'Why?', yes it was a legitimate question.
'Because I was alone, I thought he really loved me... Ignored his annoying, weed smoking broke addictions'
'He smokes weed?' Call me old fashioned but, to me weed smoking, is a stepping stone to cocaine and heroin addiction.
I already have my sugar addictions and my cravings drive me nuts.
'Where is he?'
'I don't know...'
'Did you call him?'
'No, why should I?'
'How long has the maid been here working?'
'One month..'
'And how pregnant is she, I mean how many months?'
'I don't know'
'Where is the house girl?'
'Sleeping..'
'Take her for a test, confirm the age of the pregnancy, do a DNA test..'
'Can they find out?'
'I don't know, but someone is lying and...'
I picked Etim up and rocked the poor baby, he was heavier than he looked. And I didn't want to smell like baby poo, so I put some distance between him and my dress. I have wipes in my bag, for my arms he was drooling on.
'Etim should not be at the warfront..'
Nnoye crumpled her face and started crying.
'We never really got married'
'I don't understand', true to God I was confused.
'He said his wife in London refused to grant him a divorce'
'But...'
I looked around the house at the church wedding pictures.
'...The pictures'
'We got married in church...'
I clapped my hands, 'Lord have mercy. In front of God and your pastor..'
'My pastor knew, he didn't want Etim to be a bastard child'
'Etim has a father, no matter what. How could you marry him, if he is already married? It's illegal and...'
Wonders, shall never end. What kind of pastor, officiates a union that is wrong in the eyes of the church? Gbese.
'And I wanted it to all stop. No one in my family respected me. I had to take matters I to my own hands'
'But this is desperate..'
I hug her, a little worried she would smudge my outfit.
'You can go back to your perfect life'
Nnoye grabbed her child from me and I sigh.
'Don't be like that, I've had a crappy day. But it's all getting better. It always gets worse then better'
'How?'
'Khadijatu married Frank and she is pregnant'
Nnoye stopped rocking Etim.
'And you didn't call me?'
'I didn't want to give you drama'
'I bathe in drama, every single day'
'So what are you going to do?'
'Do the DNA test and investigate the entire situation'
'Better my dear, and good luck dear'
I air kissed her and started to run to the door, unlock it and head downstairs.
'Mr. H is downstairs waiting..'
'You left him out there..'
'He is fine, let's meet up tomorrow'

Na wa.

    So, women are still doing this? Bribing a man to stay even though he can never be yours. What was Nnoye thinking?
I am not saying be got the house girl, pregnant but he is already married.
Outside, I wave and Mr. H opens the door.
'Na wa, too much drama'
'For real...'
'The house help is pregnant and says 'Oga did it. Then he is already married to some lady in London'
'No way'
'And I really thought I could sell her a dress'
'What?'
'Never mind, let's go'
'Is she okay?'
'Yep, I've told her to do a DNA test...'
'On a baby that's week's old'
'It's a scare tactics, the doctor wouldn't but if she's lying... Hopefully, the house girl will cave in'
'And if she's not'
'Then Nnoye stops been his personal bank card'
'What does he do?'
'I don't know'
'Well, you women have always wanted equality. Now men too are relaxed while the women bring home money'
'It's ridiculous... I can assist but I could never fund a man. I am traditional when it comes to spending. I am never going dutch. Fifty-fifty my foot'
Mr. H laughed.

  Ajoke screamed and loved my dress and screamed again, we had on matching shoes. The difference was that mine was a good knock off and hers a geniune pair and gift from Bala.
  The club was great and Ajoke had the energy of a twelve year old, she danced all night. Bala surprised me by knowing how to dance 'shoki'. I guess Ajoke was his influence.
I got tired and had work tomorrow so I whispered in Mr. H's ears.
'I need to go'
Mr. H excused us and we left.

I got worried that I would break my own vow of abstaining from sex before marriage.
'Dont worry, I promise you are safe with me'
I rest in his hairy chest and smile, I have had a lovely day indeed.
'So, will you move in?'
I look up at his handsome face.
'As in. ..'
'Let's get your things and move you here permanently'
I giggled, I think I drank too much champagne.
Mr. H dangled his house keys in my face and I grabbed it.
'Thanks boo', and I shut my eyes. Na today. I appreciate that he is doing this and all but, anything can happen and I am just going to go with the flow. It was way past midnight and I had offers to buy a dress not a sale, so I can only make ten percent off the sale. And I was now going to be living in Victoria Island. It felt nice but that was it.

    Naturally, after the night I had, I didn't want to go to work. But that's how Fridays were for me. Especially after clubbing most of the night. My boss was on my case and called for a meeting.
'Good morning Sir', I announced as I entered his office.
'Morning 'Ade, how did the meeting go yesterday?'
'One of the meeting was fantastic, I have negotiated the media billboard just at the end of third Mainland bridge'
'Good, but there is a thirty percent mark up...'
'For what?', I was not expecting this.
'The foreign exchange climbed, the demand for the dollar is higher now'
'But the CBN rates are stable...'
'Do you deal with CBN or the bureau de change?'
I growled.
Yes o, I did. Forgive Me For Dreaming Out Loud, but I thought that Bala's billboard was going to rescue me at work. Turns out that this mark up is way higher than what I negotiated, yesterday. I don't know if Bala would approve of this. This foreign exchange had thwarted my dreams and I had a review first thing Monday morning.
 I left my bosses office exhausted. It was a slow day of more and more businesses opting out of their obligations and contracts. They just could not afford to do business.

 I step out of the office and I gave a heavy sigh of relief. That was the worse day ever. And as I step out, I look around and search for Mr. H.
'Where are you boi?'
I missed my car big time, but there was no guarantee that I could afford to fix it. I step out of the company and look to my left.

I spot her but look through her like she is not there. Khadijatu was standing there watching me. She had a cute little baby bump she cupped with both hands and I just froze...

No, no, no. Not today, not now. I can't deal with this right now.... Or ever...

What did Khadijatu want, right now?



**"ADE'S JOURNAL" 13, COPYRIGHT 2016 **
**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE, COPYRIGHT 2016**
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