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About Me

My photo

 My story may shock you, but then again your situation may be worse. Delve in and find out....
The best moments are the ones when, that affect people positively and inspire them to laugh and live. 
             But is this, the entire story?
 The Human experience is Unique and every person has something to give, you just need to see it from my perspective and I craft words, actions and events from this very human angle.

Ade's Journal Part 6

Ade's Journal Part 6
My Valentine & The Elegance Of A Clean Breakup

Ade's Journal Part 5

Ade's Journal Part 5
My Scrumptious Valentine Kiss

Ade's Journal Part 4

Ade's Journal Part 4
A Scorpion is not a Lobster

Ade's Journal Part 3

Ade's Journal Part 3
My Insane Week Before Valentine

Ade's Journal Part 2

Ade's Journal Part 2
He Had The Guts To Come Back

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Friday, 25 March 2016

Petals In My Voice Lost Forever


  'ADE'S JOURNAL' 17

         Petals In My Voice Lost Forever, as I wait for the words plucked angrily from a stem robust and ripe with hope. Hidden beneath a tall African teak, I watch as it's mighty force sinks deep. And as I stretch and grow with my eyes to the sun, my claws sunk deep in the fertile rich African soil. I feel the natural waters race to my roots and once I start to choke, the earthworms cluster and aerate my loamy soil. I know I'm breathing again and feel the warm touch of another. But the cluster of many eyes, make me look up and remind me of where i am. The trees around me, bow and sway, as the wind blows clear as day. All my audience laugh and say, here we go again.

 
 I am fuming and can feel the heat escape from my eardrums. Only one thing can calm me, I must embarrass and finish Aunt Funke. I swear to God who made me, she will regret the day she chose to use me as Gist in this our family.
'No o, I came alone', it's my sarcasm and my eyes slicing her from head to toe that lets her know that I am pissed.
Aunt Funke stops dancing and stands up straight.
'What did you say?', she heard me loud and clear but was still in shock.
'Aunt Funke good afternoon, Ade has told me all about you'. Mr. H pulled her gently away from me.
'I would love to meet your grandchild',  he told her with a warm smile and perfect teeth to die for. Aunt Funke reluctantly follows him to her own house. I suspect she has forgotten about me and he admires her home our loud.
       Typical Mr. H, why is he trying to cool an already hot situation. Which one is his own?
Aunt Funke turned to look at me and my mum dived in and shields my face from hers. There were more wicked looks for me to throw at her. 
'Did you forget?'
'Forget what?', I asked my mum, I was too angry to think right now.
'My Birthday, I've promised your neice and nephews that they will taste your cake today'
I massaged my forehead and looked back at the car, my mum and Aunt Funke's grandchild are Birthday mate's.
'Of course we did not forget, your cake is in Mr. H's car'
My mum hugs me and we walk to the car, she loved the cake decoration.
'Is it a marble cake?'
'Yes, your favorite with vanilla frosting'
And I give her my sweetheart's gift to her; a pearl necklace and her favorite perfume 'Elizabeth Arden's white diamond. My mum loved her cake and gift and made me promise we would show up and go to church with her on Easter Sunday. I laughed.
'Mum, that would be a miracle'
'That's why your father thinks you are a free thinker'

  My mum could never bring herself to actually say what was on her mind. She was afraid I was a pagan, because to her, there were only three options. Christianity, Muslim and the one she would dry fast for forty day for, a pagan. Its actually my fault, after Frank, I didn't want her parading me to spiritualists so I told her I vowed never to go to church again. And immediately, she asked if I was now a Muslim like my grandfather. When I said no, she started crying. As if when we get to heaven, we will be judged by our parents.

'So you will come'
'Let me discuss it with Mr. H'
'Why are you calling him Mr. H?'
'Mum, please...'
'Are you two living together? That didn't work well for you the last time'
'Mum, I know but it's complicated'
'When is life ever simple? Look at us, your father's family and mine. Together in one place, peacefully, do you remember?'
'All the hatred? Mum I can never forget'
'Yet, you attend their functions, greet and respect every last one'
'Its....'
'Complicated? Omo mi, it's simple. We all have what we want and for every time we don't get what we want. We become bitter and hate our partners for it'
'I know mum, I was there'
'All that is in the past, but...'
'What has this got to do with me?'
She places her hand on mine and I relax and breath. I knew exactly what she was saying, but I am afraid. And the worse place to be when you are afraid of where your relationship is going is around your immediate and extended family. I am in trouble.

    Inside the house we carried and cuddled the cutest baby on earth. Its luxurious mass of soft black afro curls were to die for. Once the baby falls into a deep sleep, it retired back to its bedroom.
My ever so indigenous Yoruba clan, quizzed Mr. H about his heritage. They informed him we, from my paternal side are over four hundred years old on this land, we aboriginals Lagosians with my grandfather a white cap chief and my grandmother the daughter of the third Oba of Lagos. And my maternal side are aboriginals from Ondo state, Arigidi Akoko. Not only did we have our rich Yoruba language, we had our own unique native dialect. My relatives missed out the part that only those above fourty understand the dialect, it was becoming extinct.
      Mr. H informed them that both his parents were from Lagos state, his father is from Epe and his mother from Langbasa in Eti osa Local government area. He won their hearts by knowing about his heritage and of course English premierships. Our family were divided, the outspoken ones, including me loved Manchester United. The majority were Arsenal fans and the other outspoken side were Chelsea fans. 
'Is it true that you got an advert job?', my mum's younger brother asked me.
'Yes, its true o. I saw you on the billboard you see when descending Third Mainland bridge in Lagos', my mum added with her voice louder than normal. She wanted every relative to know I was popular and it worked. Their curiosity peaked.
'It's for a wedding, my friend Ajoke and Mr. H's friend Bala are getting married and I'm chief bridesmaid and he's bestman'
The echo's of joy filled the room until....
    
     Until she entered the living room and marched up to me.
''Ade, let me see you', she announced and marched into the kitchen.
I reluctantly follow her and pull out all defensive tactics I know and just watch her.'
'Ade, I know you are angry with me. But I know you, you are tough on the outside but very soft and emotional inside. Like you, I managed dating a guy I knew didn't care, just so I won't have to date anyone else'
   If you understand my aunt very well, what she's trying to say is that, she knew I stayed cause I didn't want to sleep with another man.
'You are my favorite neice, I want to dance at your wedding. I want to eat your jollof rice, buy your aso ebi and watch you have your own kids'
"Aunt Funke, I have the best partner on earth'
'I know, but he is old'
'He is not that old'
'Brother me, lo Fe fe'
'He is not yet fifty five'
'And you are not yet fourty, just play your cards better, this time. Don't move in, keep your job and your old friends'
  I chuckle and she nodged me on the shoulder, only if she knows.
'I am older and wiser, so don't laugh. Omode lon se e'
'Khadijatu is pregnant for Frank'
Aunt Funke practically jumped out of her skin, she was in complete shock.
'Iro ni, it's a lie'
'She's married to him and still married to his former wife'
'Is he not a Christian?'
'It's bigamy, but they are all fighting themselves. Who cares'
'My dear, don't get involved o, you know that in Nigeria, the true wife is the one that has a child for him o'
I shake my head.
'Don't be naive, history will only know those that live to tell it. The living, biological children brought to this world by a few moments of pleasure'
'But..'
'No but's, just know what's important'
'I do', and I sigh out loud. She didn't believe in love. I don't blame her, but this was getting very depressing.
Mr. H walks into the kitchen and I almost run as I usher him out.
'So when are you going to ask Ade to marry you?'
   Yes, Aunt Funke's job was just to humiliate me. I had no words for her.
'Sooner than you think'
'Soon, is not an answer o. Hehn Ade, be careful o'

         The drive back home was quiet, and as I joked about going to church with my parents. He agreed. The look on my face made him laugh.
'Do you know the last time I was in church?'
'University?'
'Five years ago'
'Really?'
'Okay seven, but...'
'How bad can it be?'
'Not bad, just not necessary'
'You don't like to belong anywhere, right?'
'Somewhere fresh, not my parents church...'
'What are you afraid of? Angry about...'
'Just prefer to sleep off the weekend'
'Then let's stay in'
'You are right, I am afraid and there is no reason to be. But I let my guard down and believed everything would work. And everything crashed and burned'
'For a good reason'
'It didn't feel that way'
'If everything worked, you would be Khadijatu. Pregnant and unmarried or married illegally. So how bad...'
   Chai, I feel silly. You know how they say, say it out loud till you hear the facts. Mine just hit me hard on the head.
'You are right, I feel so stupid'
'You can make it up to me'
'If I'm going to church, it won't be for you'
'Amen to that'

   I watched my dad smile, it is not about me attending church. It is about taking time out to reflect and at the same time, give back. He was a brilliant man, living off his pension and happy to be by his wife.
   My mum always walked slower than he could, but he never complained. He waved at me and at the same time guides my mum up the church stairs.
Mr. H and I greet my parents and as we are about to enter the church.
'Thank Jesus for his sacrifice, even your prodigal daughter is back home', my mum announced and some of her friends recognized me and cluster around me.
'Keep it up, your daughter won't come here again o'
'It's fine, daddy. It's mum, she can't surprise me'
  I sang songs, I missed and danced to drum beats. My mum and I screamed and clapped and when my brothers and families joined, she shrieked and hugged all of us. I enjoyed every moment and loved the church message, 'renewed hope'. My brothers like Mr. H and he had skyed with my sister and his family, so no wahala there. Really, I did feel like for the first time in a long time that I had renewed hope.

  I had to use the ladies, so I excuse myself from my scrumptious crowd. My cheeks were aching from smiling, I was genuinely happy. Is this me baba God? Can you beat this, the one day I go to church, most of the people I love are gathered here. Laughing and celebrating this holiday season. No one and nobody can dim the smile on my face. Ah, this feels nice, really nice. On my way back,nervous into Celine and feel even more excitement.
''Ade?'
Naturally, I hug my friend and beam with bigger joy. She seemed nervous. 
'Hey, Celine hi'
A man is by her side frowning and she looks distraught.
'Are you alright?'
'Does she look like something is wrong?', he says in a stern voice.
'Please not now'
He grabs her hand in a controlling manner and my mind jumped to conclusions. No way, are my eyes deceiving me? No, no, no, not hard working, multi tasking, industrious Celine. He shoves her forward and I launched forward to defend her.
''Ade, please...', she pleaded with me and blocked me from her man. If I didn't see it with my eyes I would never have believed it.
'What are we still doing here? Let us go'
'Baby, you said we could stay, just thirty minutes'. He still had his grip on her hand and it was so tight, I could feel her pain.
'Can I go now?' 
She was embarrassed and bowed her head in shame. Or is it pain, I can't tell.
'Don't waste time', he lets go and he walks back to his seat at the back of church.
'It's not what it looks like'
'Your hand is bruised and you are shaking. If he can do it here, in church, in public...'
'Don't be silly, he didn't do anything'
Celine adjusts and stands erect and fakes a smile, as if nothing happened.
'Does he hit you?'
'No, of course not. He's just afraid I will leave'
'What is wrong with you? What does he have on you? What is really going on?'
'Nothing, Ade mind your business', she was mad as hell and was trying to cut me off. Celine walked away and I made her know this isn't over.
'Whatever it is, I will find out'
'Please, wait, don't tell Mr. H'
   I was in shock, why on earth will Celine take crap from anyone?
'Don't tell Mr. H, what?' 
   I did not see Mr. H and his voice startled both of us and I almost jump out of my skin.
'Don't mind Ade o, I was on my way out, it's nothing'. Celine covered up and gave me a strange look.

Now I am in a dillema, what am I supposed to do? 




**Season 1, Episode 17**
**"ADE'S JOURNAL" 17, COPYRIGHT 2016 **
**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE, COPYRIGHT 2016**
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