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About Me

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 My story may shock you, but then again your situation may be worse. Delve in and find out....
The best moments are the ones when, that affect people positively and inspire them to laugh and live. 
             But is this, the entire story?
 The Human experience is Unique and every person has something to give, you just need to see it from my perspective and I craft words, actions and events from this very human angle.

Ade's Journal Part 6

Ade's Journal Part 6
My Valentine & The Elegance Of A Clean Breakup

Ade's Journal Part 5

Ade's Journal Part 5
My Scrumptious Valentine Kiss

Ade's Journal Part 4

Ade's Journal Part 4
A Scorpion is not a Lobster

Ade's Journal Part 3

Ade's Journal Part 3
My Insane Week Before Valentine

Ade's Journal Part 2

Ade's Journal Part 2
He Had The Guts To Come Back

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Saturday, 11 June 2016

Twelve Noon Blues


"ADE'S JOURNAL", 39

   Twelve Noon Blues, caught up with me in hues. I really hate to be in my own shoes, strapped up in leather and Velcro room with no where to go but with you. I will be going Soon, But dont count the minutes too.
For time has flown like a broom, Dashing across the Man in the Moon.
I'll be back soon for my timeless Twelve Noon Blues.
    Have you ever just been angry at yourself for no particular reason? I am and I don't know why. Too much has happened and im scuttling to write it all down. So let me start from where i stopped.
    Right now eh, i am farmished. I fight to flick my eyes open and I am annoyed. Yes, very peeved. The intense sun is not helping matters. But what did I expect? Yesterday eh, rain beat hell out of me. The way and manner was scary, I felt ice large raindrop hit the center of my head and the other targeted my mascara laden lashes. The smudge on my face was annoying, yes I whipped out my mirror in the rain under the umbrella to check. And used my baby wipes to free my face from the remaining makeup.
  So I felt naked, on my face and it was supposed to be the day I am on point to meet with Daniel and his American team.
Did I give up? No way. I still abandoned my own broken down car, got into a commercial bus thatdrove through the rain induced floods of Ikoyi Southwest district and made my appointment.
  You want to hear the rest?

 Orisirisi.

  Hmmmf, Daniel cancelled the appointment, his partner's were on a private beach home that was almost flooded by an approaching Lagoon. In fact, the entire situation sounds and was really scary. I wish them luck and I'm glad they have life jackets and all. They are actually filming the whole thing, I think he said one of them is a Blogger and she's excited about uploading the unique video and coverage of the beautiful event. Na she know ooo, instead of her to pray they survive it. Anyway shaaaa, it's like I heard her say if they die the video will be a huge success. That has to be an American sense of hunour. Nigerians dont joke about death like that, it's either too scary or too sacred. Like I said, she's on her own. Me I have fresh new wahala on my hands.

     My car has died.

  But then, my car was in the middle of the road in the heavy down pour. So I got a towing vehicle to move it and escort it to my mechanic's workshop. He seems even fresher than I am and has the latest IPhone. My mechanic, was so happy to see me. He licked the Ogbono soup from his fingers and quickly dunked a succulent cow tail in his mouth.
 Hunger is not good ooo, see how I am eyeing the remaining pounded yam and ogbono soup.
  My mechanic, finished eating his meal and faced me. I seriously need a new car.

   The rains have stopped but I have to go home and the Cabs are calling ridiculous prices. With this hunger, I am better off in a commercial bus and a healthy meal after. I can't afford to pass out again. I may not be lucky enough to get someone to break my fall like in the market.
  The bus is tight and they keep insisting I move and I snap at all of them. What is it? Imagine, one had the ordercity to call me, 'orobo'. Meaning fat or plump, how very rude at size ten?
''Abeg conductor I have paid for two seats ooo'
 I scream for all in the fourteen seater bus to hear and then add.
'Nobody, should tell me to move ooo. Because I am battle ready'
 I adjust and place my bag beside me, while securing it is theft proof.
What I need to eat is Pounded yam and egusi with vegetables and ofals in it. And the place I know, I would need to take a bike there.

  On the bike, I got a little worried. The okada man did not say a word. He just nodded, he did not confirm or deny he knew where I was going. Was I been kidnapped?
Not that I had money to pay any kidnapper ooo, but then again I thought of possible human rituals and my heart skipped.
God forbid bad thing, it is not my portion in Jesus name. No weapon fashioned against me shall prosper and all those who rise against me shall fall.
  My okada guy starts to sing and then I smell it, paraga. He is not a ritualist but a drunkard. We are almost at my destination but in these shoes, I can't walk the distance.  So I beg him to slow down and pray. I pay him and thank God I arrived safely.
   I take all my supplements in my oversized bag and try to relax. The food was fresh, hot and delicious. It was worth the trouble.
   No surprise, I got home eleven and knocked out. The surprise is that I am still angry, I look at the clock and can't believe my eyes.

Its Afternoon.

   I immediately search for my phone, the one that is not smart, my alarm clock. It was under the bed, it vibrated and failed to wake me but found its way there.
   Mmmmf, just how I felt when Mr. H talked about how Frank insulted him at the entrance of my office.
   So once again, the fool has put tension between me and Mr. H. As I try once again to make my friend understand that I did not just set out to find or lure Frank back into my life.
    I explained that, I was at the ice cream palour and Mr. H put a flat palm up. He can't be bothered and that got me mad. So, I shout and defend myself, only I was not shouting. My hands were holding my migraines in place and I was aiming for the couch.
  Mr. H helped me rest my tired head and drove me back to the hospital.

   The smell of bleach and medicine made me feel nauseated. And I started crying and begging God to heal me. I am  not going to cope with a brain tumor and then have too many unfinished business. I stretch my hand out and touch my darlings face. I didn't want to forget the prickly feeling of his beard and I felt the tension on his face.      Questions after questions and all I want to do is sleep. I anwser and start to snap at the doctor and then apologize. It's not my fault, my head hurts.

   Hours later, my result is ready and the doctor tells me to calm down. And placed a 1.5 litre bottle of water in front of me. I let go of my head and pour myself a drink. I wanted to grab the entire bottle and drink directly from it but the cup is fine.
'I'm too young to die'
  I plead with the beautiful fresh faced doctor with a sweet primary school teachers smile. The smile calmed me and I stop shivering.
'Who told you, you have a tumor?'
'I passed out in the middle of the market jolting and shaking. It must be a seizure'
  I told the doctor, yep I watch the television series... 'House'.
'You were forming in the mouth and stiff?'
 The doctor's question made me think.
'I'm not sure'
'Did your air ways seem constricted?'
  I think again and shake my head.
'So Ade, relax and let me tell you what your test results say'
  I open my mouth and shut it, yes I am an ITK, i-too-know. I am paranoid but can you blame me? I need the truth right now from a professional. I feel silly, all the technology and movies made me feel I could diagnose my own medical issues.
   'Your blood count is low and your blood sugar low. And you need to stay hydrated'
   I look at the bottle and realize I have almost finished it.
'How was your last period?'
   I drank the delicious water first and then answer.
'Dark red, same'
'And how often do you eat in a day?'
   Kai this doctor is not good oooo, she wants to make my life miserable. My yoyo diet of trying not to eat everyday, only when I'm hungry and mostly once a day has worked for me. Now, Mr. H will notice and start insisting I eat regularly.
 Which kind wahala is this?
'I keep telling her to eat, if it's not something special or sweet... She's not going to eat'
  So Mr. H has noticed. I thought all my ice cream cravings would cover up.
'Why are you trying to make me seem like I have an eating disorder?'
   Abeg ooo, I am already six kilograms above my normal weight. Almost a size 12, I am not interested in adding more.
The room was silent. Are they agreeing that I have a problem?
'If I did, I would not be chubby', I was irritated by all their insinuations.
'You should eat to stay energized and healthy'
'So I'm not healthy'
'Your body needs all I have prescribed and nutritional foods to perform at its best'
'Eh hehn', as if she will follow me home.
'Stay hydrated, drink plenty of water, eat vegetables raw and cooked'
'So my blood works showed all that'
'If you do pass out again, it could cause complications'
  Why do I feel she is sugar coating it?
The drugs are much, vitamins a to z, iron tablets. At least those are the drugs I know, the rest I don't.
I'm too tired to argue.
'Bed rest would help too'
I nod my head and drink them with my last cup of water. Lord have mercy.
 Now Mr. H is going to fuss about me eating healthy.

  Shaaaa later on, to just make my doctor and Mr. H happy. I eat dinner with Mr. H, small portions of course. The body needs fuel.
  I am thirsty and I drink lots of water, to dilute the taste of Medicine in my mouth. The iron tablets are super strong And I need to get rid of it.
My phone grunts and dances sideways on the glass see through dinning table.
  Nnoye is calling me, it's been a while. She sent a text and begged me to let her come over. No way, I agree to meet at...
  I can't believe I almost said ice cream. No way we must meet somewhere neutral. So I choose Pearl Garden of course.
  Prawn in pepper sauce and freshly squeezed orange juice which I hear is good for women and our reproductive organs.

   I take my time and wear flats and a simple free gown. My eyeballs still hurt but it's a reminder that my body needs rest.
'What happened?'
  Nnoye could tell that I was not hundred percent and I could tell she had a lot to off load.
'What's up?'
'head ache', I tell her just as much as I can.
'Etim's father wants full custody'
'What?'
'That I am putting his child in danger'
'How?'
'The company I keep'
  I had no clue what she was talking about.
'Have you forgotten I am dating the head of Agbero's son"
'Oh'
  I remember, but  something must have happened.
'He  came to the house and met an entourage. With my son dancing between them. Entertaining them and their alcohol and weed smoking session.
'No'
'Ade, i could lie to you but I choose not to. So shaaaa, right now. What do I do now?'
'What can you do?".
    She  was in denial.
'He is right'
'I know but I can't, Etim is my world'
'You can't raise your child in that environment'
'I'm pregnant'
'What'
'At least I think, wish I was'
 ''Why?
'I think he's getting bored'
  I exhale and drink my medicine with a tall glass of water.
'How's school going? How many outfits have you made?'
'I have not graduated'
'So if I'm in baking school, I'd wait till I graduate before baking a cake?'
''That's why I run from you'
'Because I tell you the truth?'
'Everything is about work with you'
'Suit yourself'
 Nnoye was frowning and I hold my forehead in place.
'I'm not pregnant'
'Nnoye, please it's a free world'
'I know, ah'
'Are you pregnant?'
'No ooo'
'You don't want a child?'
'I do but a planned one, one after my wedding...'
'...With Daniel?'
'Why would you?'
'Say that? I saw your pictures together'
'He's friends with a friend'
'You two work together'
'That too but Mr. H and I are set in stone'
'Tina and I are no longer friends, she said Baratu. Mr. H's ex is back that even you have no chance'
 I rest my head on the table and exhale, as usual everyone is predicting doom for my relationship.
'Really'
''Ade, these are serious situations, complications'
'Na today'
'Why did you agree to see and meet me?'
'Curiousity'
''Ade, you never seize to amaze me. I miss us ooo'
 I drink my crab soup and chew on the taste of the fresh salty atlantic ocean.
'So, which is it and why are the tabloids insinuating you are going to marry a Lagos big boy?'
'Mmmhf?'
  I can't be bothered, everyone has an opinion about my life so let them say and think what they want. Nnoye can tell I am not in the mood to answer such frivolous questions.
'Where is your car?'
'Dead'
'By now. One of the men in your life should have'
'I buy my own things myself'
'I know I am annoying you but we can't all be independent'
'You were'
'And things got hard'
'But you will bounce back, if not why bother'
'I will but for now I want comfort'
'And whatever you want, you get'
'Exactly', Nnoye screamed and crushed her crab pincers with her teeth.
  We were both quiet for a short time and then she sighed and realized what I was insinuating.
'I will make a fashion line, create something... You must buy ooo, patronize me'
'First patronize your own business before you sell to me ooo'
   Nnoye thought for awhile and smiled.
'As usual, you are right'
  I was thinking too, I need a car not just any but mine. One that works.
I can't take a cab everywhere and if I buy one now, I would be broke for the next year. Maybe, no it's ridiculous. But maybe he could sell one of his cars to me. I can buy afford that and not some spanking new car.

  Mr. H just texted me, Baratu and him are going to Kano together. This is ridiculous.
How will he feel if I start traveling up and down the country with Daniel Ojora.
 Talk about the devil and he appears. At least his name does on the screen of my smart phone.
'Hello, good afternoon'
'Hey 'Ade, so sorry I cancelled'
'It's fine'
'How is this weekend? We have a retreat planned'
'When?'
'Saturday till Monday, lovely single units homes and an untapped beach. The partner's would be honored'
  I pause for a while, since I got back from Cross River we have not had a meeting and our contract stipulates we do. So it made sense but it also feels like an attempt to bond with me and spend time together. Maybe I should just focus on the work and stop putting suspicions where there was none.
'Sounds good'
   I could hear another call coming in and I know it's Mr. H but I was not moved to get Daniel off the line.
'Have you checked the weather forecast?'
'Cloudy with a little rain'
'Sounds a bit safe', I try not to think of the sea just engulfing and reclaiming all the land Lagos state has snatched from it's jaws.
 We laugh a bit and say goodbye.
Mr. H was still calling and I just stare at the phone.
'Hello'
'Hi, it was engaged for so long. I was worried, you are not home?'
'No, I'm at Pearl Garden with Nnoye'
'You are supposed to be resting'
'I woke up at twelve noon, that's too much rest'
'Are you better?'
'Yep and I got your text'
'A premature outing'
'Weekend long?'
'Back on Tuesday'
'I will be back on Monday'
'Where are you going to?'
'Still in Lagos, Akodo beach resorts'
'Nice, been there once. We should stay one night at least'
'Okay'
'You should go home and rest'
'I will'
  And I cut the phone. I could blame the supplements or the fatigue but we both know we are drifting apart.

'Let me drop you, between your headaches and man aches. I don't know which is worse'

  Nnoye was right, I did not know which was worse. I need a huge time out.
A big rest before this Akodo trip turns my head upside down.




**Season 1, Episode 39**
**"ADE'S JOURNAL" 39, COPYRIGHT 2016 **
**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE, COPYRIGHT 2016**
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