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About Me

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 My story may shock you, but then again your situation may be worse. Delve in and find out....
The best moments are the ones when, that affect people positively and inspire them to laugh and live. 
             But is this, the entire story?
 The Human experience is Unique and every person has something to give, you just need to see it from my perspective and I craft words, actions and events from this very human angle.

Ade's Journal Part 6

Ade's Journal Part 6
My Valentine & The Elegance Of A Clean Breakup

Ade's Journal Part 5

Ade's Journal Part 5
My Scrumptious Valentine Kiss

Ade's Journal Part 4

Ade's Journal Part 4
A Scorpion is not a Lobster

Ade's Journal Part 3

Ade's Journal Part 3
My Insane Week Before Valentine

Ade's Journal Part 2

Ade's Journal Part 2
He Had The Guts To Come Back

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Friday, 28 October 2016

A Septuagenarian Duped Many Of Million's


"ADE'S JOURNAL", 79

  Sweet and sour, is the juice squeezed from a scarred ripe lone orange. Left behind, beside an upside down dog frozen in time on a dark chocolatey satin sheet. The taste of the beehive lingers, from the hoard of bees working hard and infusing rich honey into the fruit tree. Squeezing at and squashing into it's succulent flesh, you taste delicious uniqueness, as its natural flavour sips into its rich yellow core. The tangerine taste moves far away from its lemon cousin to give it a cool balance. This lone orange, Snatched from my place of abode. I dare to use the word Kidnapped.  Even hear and endure the whispers screaming in my vocal receptors; A Septuagenarian Duped Many Of Million's and lives to squander and brag about it. That is until he was caught red handed, linched and disgraced...
     The entire experience leaves a sour taste in my mouth. To watch an angry crowd gather like bees and deliberate and decide what to do. I fight the urge to stand and watch. Instead, I bump into a man frozen and engulfed, like an infected lone wasp. He does the unthinkable and brings out a dagger. Who walks around with a dagger and shouts with such passion?
'Why una dey deliberate?'
  An odd question from an odd suspicious angry man. He stabs the septuagenarian and gingers the crowd to get tyres and petrol. This wicked wasp shoves one tyre over another and pours petrol over his entire body.
'Don't do this', I said trembling.
 I was crying, watching the crowd that encouraged this mad man.
'He has done it before, tossed a driver into the canal and watched him drown in spirogyra slushy water'
   A woman added awkwardly while trying to look away and failing.
'What about the teenager he burnt here, two months before that?'
 Words from another bystander, makes me look away from the bleeding man to the man justifying vocally why this septuagenarian should burn alive. This dagger wielding man was a serial killer, fueling crowd's with rage and justifying his killings by his victims crime. I started to walk away, while calling the emergency police number 112. I would not let this serial killer living in Shitta- Surulere get away with this. Someone had beat me to it, two police vans appear and they stop The septuagenarian from been burnt alive. The serial killer started wielding his dagger frantically around until finally, the blade cut an innocent passer by. The spew of blood causes mayhem and panic and the policemen shoot in the air.
   I crossed and escaped and watched from a safe distance. Unfortunately, the madman escaped and some of the crowd were arrested and the injured taken to the hospital. At least, that's what I hoped happened. The entire experience left me drained.
  Ask me, what carried my short legs to this area?
   My Aunt's daughter Simi, just had a baby and m car brakes semi failed. So I dropped it at the mechanics and decided to take a cab. But missed my way and the taxi driver was so rude and impatient. I paid him and decided to find the place myself. That's when I witnessed this horror. Human being's, dropping all morals and taking the law into their hand's. I thought this phase of madness was over in Nigeria and especially here in Lagos.
      I was wrong.
 Another thirty minutes later, I find my cousins house and her husband and the rest of the family are impressed I made it. The baby is beautiful and hairy, her hair is almost touching her eyebrows. It’s a happy sight and she smiles and melts my heart. I was about to find an excuse to leave, when Ajoke called me.
‘Hey, how are you?’
‘Good, the baby is healthy and beautiful’
 I look around to see if I’m alone and when I’m sure I am, I whispered into my phone.
‘She does not have my Aunts strong features, but my mum’s softer features. Thank God’
  Ajoke laughed at how naughty I was and I looked around, feeling guilty as I did.
'So hurry to the airport ooo, I’m lucky Bala is cool with me been away this weekend’
  It was understandable, the entire; “I can’t be away from my bride right  routine. But this was ridiculous. Was I jealous? A little, I think.
   Actually, I was missing Henrik, his trip was extended until Monday. So, us girls us made our France trip from Saturday up until Monday. Everything was changing fast, Celine's wedding is not taking place. She’s thinking of a ceremony without the vows. But changed her mind and we decide to travel despite her vehemently rejecting our kind offer to be at her side during this crucial hour. Lucky for Celine, Ajoke and I don’t listen. I look at the time on my phone and realize that I don’t have much time left.
‘I’m leaving now'
  Simi returned with the baby and I give her a peck and wave at everyone.
'I need to'
  I was about to tell them about France and kept quiet. The only reason to announce my trip is, if I'm sure that I’ll get them gifts. I was not, and got mileage from Ajoke’s frequently flying all around the world. So I did not pay for my ticket, thank God. Sincerely, I can’t afford to spend outside my wedding right now. So I just makeup another excuse and leave.

   Outside, getting a taxi was hard and I started to panic. I did not want to be late and Ajoke calling me every ten minutes, did not help matters.
  Some strange looking cars stopped and offered me a lift, tempting but no thanks. I don’t want to end up a sex slave for months or at the bottom of an abandoned well, in pieces and missing my boobs. Yes, I have been reading all sort of negative news and scary kidnapping stories. Although, the age for kidnapped victims have dropped drastically and sadly, to children. I remember growing up watching American movies about serial killers. I used to thank God that I was in a safe, community-like  society Like ours. But so much has changed since then and it’s harder to trust people now. I know that a killer can be from any place, anywhere in the world.
  I am shaking now and afraid, maybe I should put on my location so that they can find me after. I reject that in Jesus name. I’m sure you can tell that I am scared and it’s escalating.
    The sound of my name, makes me spin around and search for who was calling me. It’s my brother Ola and his face calms me down and I do a short victory dance and race to the passenger seat.
‘Thank God you are here, I am shaking like jelly'
‘Hey, Ajoke called me', Ola announced.
    I rolled my eyes and buckled my seatbelt.
‘Don’t mind her, I just witnessed evil and got suspicious of every cab I got’
‘I heard on the news, the old man was lucky and the passer-by too'
‘So they are fine?'
 Well I was more worried about the passer-by than the old thief, am I bad for thinking like that?
‘Ade, where is your car?’
‘The brakes are bad, are you going towards the airport?’
‘Ajoke asked because she knows you won’t’
  Funny enough, I suspect that my marketer brother is getting more than thank you, from this deal.
‘Ola, tell me what she’s buying from this deal’
  My naughty brother laughs and turns towards Ikeja and I’m thanking God that the traffic isn’t that bad.
'She is buying a fleet of vehicles from us’
‘It’s  a lie'
 Even I am shocked.
'Ajoke said that Bala is opening a new office in Lagos, so they need vehicles’
  I clap and do another Victory dance.
‘Thank God she thought of you’
'Yes, thank God. I’ve made my target this month’
‘What’s my cut in this deal?’
 I really  expect nothing.
‘I deliver tomorrow and get the cash too, Ajoke will give you. Please shop for my kids'
 Warm fuzzy breeze filled the car and I hug him briefly and look up at the top of the vehicle.
Someone heard my prayers, and I was happy.

 The check in counter was about to close when I got to the airport and I wave goodbye to Ola and run to the lounge. Ajoke was pacing up and down when I spot her, she sighed and hugs me.
‘Ade please don’t do this, ever again’
 I grab her flat palm and place it on my chest.
‘Ajoke, feel my heart, it’s racing like mad'
  Ajoke helps me to relax and breath slowly and then hands me malteasers. That helped, through out the flight. I sleep and dream of a happy reunion and us three girls laughing and happy. We touch down and take a hired black cab to Celine's partner's boutique. And then called Celine with a ruse, to pick up her gift from us from a friend in France.
    The look on her face when she sees us, is priceless. She cried and cried and we both hug her.
‘I wanted you two to come here so badly’
‘You should have said so', I tell my weeping friend.
‘We are here, that’s all that matter’s’, Ajoke adds.
‘Enough tears, come let’s allgo and meet my new family’
    Celine says as she hugs both of us and walks with her arms around our neck. She has stopped crying and we all March into the hired cab. Inside and away from the outside cold air, I tell her and hand her coconut candy. Celine got excited and bit noisily into it and kicked off her boots.
'I miss Nigeria and our high end life'
'Says the babe marrying a millionaire’
  My statement does not go down well with Ajoke because she pinched me.
'Its fine, we will have a ceremony without vows and with less people. But millionaire’s here sometimes take the tube and ride bicycles’
'Exactly', I say implying that I preferred the freedom than the burden of no other options.
  Our diva friend raised her hands and protested.
'Layelaye, I am not one of the masses. The only reason I didn't get a limousine is because you would have known it was me right away’
 Celine nods her head and agreed with Ajoke and gave me a quick look.
'You two wink at my vanity, but don’t lie. You both relish and enjoy it'
  We all laugh and Munch on Malteasers, Lord have mercy on my weight gain. I panic and stop eating chocolate.
'Ade, you have added the weight, enjoy the chocolate, jare’
 I freeze and pout my lips and then toss another ball in my mouth.
'Ajoke, you will follow me to the gym'
'Exactly, I need to loose my baby fat'
‘What baby fat?’ , Celine and I echo and scream at my forever skinny friend.
   It was a long drive to their home and his kids were warm and respectful. I was anxious and curious at the same time and Ajoke and I stare at his pictures and try to memorize his face. He stepped into the house and we welcomed him. Only it was his brother, a fit more hands version of him.
    Pierre walked in and he had a pot belly and blonder hair than his brunette brother. He mumbled a lot of French words I had never heard before, then English.
'Welcome ladies'
 His peck was quick, nice and he was fun and lively.
'Ade, Ajoke, thank you for coming. The ceremony will go on and we will have a wedding'
 Ajoke and I celebrate and jump around Celine, who was blushing.
‘Amen ooo', Celine says with little enthusiasm.

  Dinner was a blend of first French and then translated to English almost immediately and then Alan started flirting with me. I was embarrassed and ignored it and Ajoke comes to my defense.
'Another Oyinbo has already stolen her heart'
‘No, she is too hot to be hitched', Alan adds.
‘My wedding is in November and you all are invited’, I announced at the table.
'Don’t mind Alan, he has a girlfriend who will return’
'No she won’t, she wants to wait’
'Then wait'
‘Until when?’
 I did not know the entire story but I was a little curious and then my phone rang. I got up to escape the crowd.
'Don’t hide him, let’s see this man', Alan announced and Pierre agrees with him.
It was a Skype call, so I tell him everyone wants to meet him. I take the phone round and introduce him to everyone and Alan and Henrik chat a bit and then I excuse myself.
  Far from all the prowling eyes I blow him a kiss and tell him I miss him a lot.
'Who is that?’
'Pierre, you have, Skyped with him before now'
‘I know, but he likes you'
  It’s cute when Henrik gets jealous.
‘And all the fine girls around you, like you too', I add and like the way he giggle’s.
 Because, it’s proof I am right.
'You can’t blame me for worrying’
'Henrik, no need to. I’m yours and next month we make it official’
   I was beaming from ear to ear with joy. We catch up and laugh and I returned to the table glowing.
 Alan watched me and shakes his head and then speaks up.
'You are right, you are far gone and into this guy. But I’ll show you France like you’ve never aren’t
‘Us, you mean’, Ajoke adds and gives Alan a wicked look. I’m not bothered, I’m just here for Celine and I hope is truly happy. Celine’s parents arrive and Mr. H, her cousin with pregnant Baratu. We all exchanged pleasantries as they join us on the longest dinner table I’ve ever seen. Tomorrow, Saturday was going to be memorable.

   Watching Celine walk down the aisle, in a beautiful wedding gown and in glass slippers, is truly magical. And to have her daughters’ throw confetti on the floor with Celine’s parents present was priceless. Ajoke and I are on the bridal train and Alan is on the grooms train.
 The bride and groom exchange vows of love and kiss and then we all go to the reception.
On my way, I overheard Baratu telling Mr. H.
'Did you see how one of the grooms men looked at Ade, that’s her next boyfriend’
 She accompanied the statement with an evil laugh but was shocked that Mr. H  laugh with her. The realization of what was happening, made her slowly turn around and look at me.

  Cat dey sleep Jeje, rat go wake am. Na wetin him dey find?

What is her own? She already has Mr. H whom I don’t want. So why is carrying my case on her head like a government worker?

   Do you see how people look for trouble, if I react now. They will say Ade as started.
  tell me now, should I ignore her or give her a piece of my mind.

 Amebo, aproko, orisirisi.





**Season 1, Episode 79**
**"ADE'S JOURNAL", 79, COPYRIGHT 2016**
**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE COPYRIGHT 2016**

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