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About Me

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 My story may shock you, but then again your situation may be worse. Delve in and find out....
The best moments are the ones when, that affect people positively and inspire them to laugh and live. 
             But is this, the entire story?
 The Human experience is Unique and every person has something to give, you just need to see it from my perspective and I craft words, actions and events from this very human angle.

Ade's Journal Part 6

Ade's Journal Part 6
My Valentine & The Elegance Of A Clean Breakup

Ade's Journal Part 5

Ade's Journal Part 5
My Scrumptious Valentine Kiss

Ade's Journal Part 4

Ade's Journal Part 4
A Scorpion is not a Lobster

Ade's Journal Part 3

Ade's Journal Part 3
My Insane Week Before Valentine

Ade's Journal Part 2

Ade's Journal Part 2
He Had The Guts To Come Back

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Wednesday, 30 November 2016

When The Carburetor Of Your Phone Isn't Working


"ADE'S JOURNAL", 87

     The salty tears flow as I leave my love behind prompting patterned beautiful layers of gray froth foaming and forming on top of my Atlantic ocean. The tiny crystals float then land and as it caresses my tongue, my anxious taste buds digest and dilute it all in my mouth. In that same instance, Cool clear blue waters of the Caribbean sea, soothe and entice me with promises of an unforgettable honeymoon. It’s time to go for Sweetened, with a natural tang from a plump ripe lemon without scars. And as I delve into the fruit heaven, I am happy as I expected, it gave my fruit punch a natural zing. Seems unlikely, seemed unrealistic that I am finally here, with my one true love. He tickles me and I laugh and turn to look into his loving eyes. Those eyes that are now mine and mine alone. He chose Grenada because he knows the Caribbean islands was always my dream destination. And that I loved my salty Atlantic ocean and didn’t want to be far from home. Even though, now home is where we make it, my husband and I.
      Enjoyment galore, this is fun and totally soothing. When last did I lay flat on a beach recliner, rocking my wide brimmed hat? Six full years ago, I truly need to relax more and take more holidays.
  Henrik and I are having fun and I stuck to my, text only to family and friends until day five. So now, I can receive calls from everyone. I am anxious to hear from Celine or Ajoke or even cute baby sounds from Ajoke’s twins. Instead, I see Nnoye’s name popped up on my smart phone.
 I do not miss Lagos and all its hustle and bustle, I do have moment when I miss my family. But right now, five days into our honeymoon, I am relishing been pampered by Henrik and bragging about it.
'Hey, latest bride’
'Nnoye, hi'
'Tell me all about Grenada’
‘It’s beautiful, the people are friendly and it feels like home’
‘Lucky you'
‘So, how is Daniel?’
'Pissed I emptied his unlimited card'
'Thought it was limitless?’
‘The bank froze it at seven figures ‘
'As in?’
‘I bought a diamond, not like your wedding gift from my boyfriend’
  Her tone had a lot of weight and I know exactly what she was implying.
‘He bought the gifts for his best friend and his best friends wife'
‘I know, but it was gorgeous’
  I didn’t mean for her to see it, but Henrik wanted me to try it on. And when I did, she walked in on me thanking Daniel Ojora.
‘So thank him for us'
‘I will’
 I could feel her rolling her eyes at me.
‘So, how is Lagos?’
‘Im actually on the road ‘
'How come?’
‘No my way back from Abuja ‘
‘What’s happening there?’
‘A play written by my friend, Busola ‘
'The one that had a reading in Sweden?’
‘Same one’
‘She’s good'
‘She’s great’
'Why didn’t you fly?’
‘I’m down to only my savings, I’m not sure it would last’
'Have Faith’
‘The reason I called was cause of the lame excuse one of the bus passengers had’
'Excuse for what?’
'When The Carburator of Your Phone Is Not Working'
 Now I am confused.
'What?’
'He claimed to be well off and yet had no phone and gave the excuse I just have’
‘Phones have carburetors?’
'I tire oooo’
‘Carburetors are in combustible engine’s and mixes air with liquid fuel, none of these apply to phone’s’
 I was laughing uncontrollably because it was so stupid, I could not help myself. It's like placing the cute pink tiny umbrella in my drink, on a rechargeable lantern modelled like lanterns from the seventies. All can see it does not make sense, but a creative juxtaposed mind makes sense of it all.
'Why would someone lie, like that?'
  I asked still laughing.
'Maybe he has no clue what the word means, or just trying to impress you'
'Me Nnoye, impressed by petty lies?'
'I asked again and he said it's a component found in the screen of his smart phone'
'Na real wa', I say still trying to understand the lie.
'He was making fun of his own ignorance’
 Henrik was watching me speak with Nnoye on the phone and he gave me a soft peck on my sandy forehead as he whispered quietly.
'What?’
'When The Carburetor of Your Phone Isn’t Working’
 My answer made him freeze and give me a questioning look.
‘I only called because he has dropped, he stopped at Shagham. We will catch up, when you come back to Nigeria’
'Later then'
'Ade, did you hear?'
'Hear what?'
'Zahra got thirty Louis Vuitton bags, as a wedding present'
'Which 'Zahra?'
'Buhari's daughter, our presidents daughter'
'Eh Hehn ', I was surprised by the news but not shocked.
'It's worth almost fifteen million Naira, thats the gift we know ooo'
'Good for her', what am I supposed to say to that news.
'If only her groom to be had more unmarried brothers, I read they are eight or nine children'
'If you can, have as many as you can. I love that my mum had four of us, even though we were not billionaire's'
'But it helps to be one'
 I shake my head and smile, this Nnoye is a case.
'Eh hehn, Ade, Hope Henrik has no clue about my affair with?'
 You should have seen the guilty conscience play on my face. Especially because, Henrik's head was resting on my chest and he could hear everything.
'I got your back, no one knows'
'Are you sure? Because Daniel asked me just after he cancelled my spending card'
'My dear, the truth will set you free'
 It was a bland answer but an appropriate one. I was too tired to drag the issue any further. It reminds me of when I walked in on my own cousin's, gossipping about me on my wedding day.

    Dark Crystal’s float up from a hardened clay road, absent of set coal tarred road. Gully's cut deep and peaked and dived on a beautiful Saturday. The day was perfect and my man had kept his vow and promise. Nothing, I thought could bring me down as I got married to Henrik.
  The naive cousin in question, speaking vindictively was the last daughter of my wicked busybody Auntie. She declared twice that my union was not valid, unless it was done in church and made as a convenant in front of a pastor. She was over twenty five, so she was not a child. Just naive and narrow minded, as she continued to speak.
'It can't last, she has made the vow in sin. Living and sleeping with a man she did not marry '
'Really? Because, it's a traditional marriage recognized by all Continents of the world and by law?'
 My question startles her and she nervously greets me.
'Auntie Ade'
 I shake my head and then lock the door behind me.
'Auntie 'Ade, I'm sorry'
'Are you? If I was such a sinner, why is my money or anything from me easy to accept?'
  Yes, this babe collected money from me. To spend or play or to buy Aso Ebi for my wedding she believed was invalid.
'I'm sorry'
'And every vow I make is valid to me, you are entitled to your opinion'
 There was no need to argue, her mum had the same kind of view. Even believed that unless an elder in church married you, it was null and void.
 Na dem Sabi.
'Enjoy', I surprised myself that day.
 I guess I was more mature than even I cared to admit. People will always have their opinions, whether the year is 2016 or the years Before Christ.

  Back to today, the first day of the last month in this year. My mind drifts, as I drop the phone and stop talking to Nnoye. I need to get a Christmas tree, I can't believe I have never gotten one before
 I have bought Christmas decorations and gifts but never a tree.
'Where is your mind, my beautiful wife?'
'Henrik, my dear husband. Do you have a Christmas tree?'
  I was expecting a big yes and a shock answer or questions from me. Instead he shakes his head.
'How come?', I asked.
'I always spend Christmas with family, never in my house or alone'
 I smiled and hugged him, bringing him closer to me in my two piece nude coloured bikini on a sandy beach in the Caribbeans.
'Now my dear, you will spend it at home with the latest bride in town'

 The sound from the Skype call on my phone, made me smile. It was my sister and her husband and they were evening with excitement.
'Hey Mr. And Mrs.'
 Henrik and I wave at the couple who had made my wedding so much more fun.
'Ade, Henrik guess what?'
'What?', I asked suspecting good news.
'We are pregnant',Ola screamed and her husband kisses her.
'Congratulations', Henrik and I join in and we blow kisses at them and questions.
 This was a beautiful month with great news coming up from my family. I was happy for them and remind them that there can only be one special aunt and uncle. Ignoring the fact that my brother's and their wives were awesome too.
 The network cut them off and I tried to call back but it didn't work. So we both send messages to them.

 The vibrating phone in my hand made me look. It was Henrik's mum and it made me smile.
'Mummy Eka San, how are you doing?'
'Omo mi, ba with Ni?'
  Henrik raised his head and whispered.
'She didn't call me, her son'
 I cover the mouth piece and whispered.
'Dont be jealous'
 She and Henrik's father were shopping with my parents for art. I've never known my dad to shop for art but it was a welcome addition to their lifestyle, fueled by new family members.
'We changed out flight to this weekend, we want to meet your great uncle Baba Ajenise'
 The name made me smile and happy, my uncle had great tales of our family heritage.  I knew they wiuld enjoy every second with him because Henrik always loved my traditional great grand uncle's company.
'Tell Henrik, hi'
'Hi mum'
 I gave him the phone and watched them catch up. My other phone was ringing and I frowned. There was no way I was going to roam my phone. The money was ridiculously high, I checked and it was a WhatsApp call. That, I could afford. The number feels familiar but I can't place it. Then it clicks, it's Khadijatu's.
 She was calling, i think to congratulate me.
Maybe I would text her with the excuse that my phone Carburator was not working.
 Curiousity, got the best of me and I pick u the call from my former best friend. The woman that introduced me to my fake ex fiance, who by the way was already married and sleeping with her. Did I mention that she has a baby girl for him and married him, even though he is a Christian and was not divorced at the time. What a whole lot of mess, now her new best friend was sleeping with her fake husband. Isn't life a viscous circle.
  Henrik sits upright and moves closer to the sea waves.
'Mum, listen'
 I loved their relationship, my mother in law was precious like that.
 I picked up the call, laughing and waiting for her to speak.
'Ade'
 The way he spoke my name, made my heart do a back flip. I was Speechless and stare hard at Henrik.
'Ade, congratulations'
 It was him.
 Frank was wishing me well, after all the lies and deceit. After, I thought I had gotten rid of him forever. There was a sadness in his voice that made me look down at my feet. This man that had no moral compass, that lied effortlessly and made my life a living hell.
 The look on Henrik's face made it obviously that he knew or recognized my body language. He could tell who was on the phone and I just freeze and stand between my past and the future. The correct thing to do was to stop the conversation. But, like in all the situations i have found myself to be. Especially, when it has to do with Frank, versus any guy I am with. It never ends well. The smile on Henrik's face vanished and along with it my peace of mind.

  When am I going to truly be rid of this singe from my past, eh?
Tell me, help me solve this problem somebody





**Season 1, Episode 87**
**"ADE'S JOURNAL", 87 COPYRIGHT 2016**
** BUSOLA ELEGBEDE, COPYRIGHT 2016**
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