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About Me

My photo

 My story may shock you, but then again your situation may be worse. Delve in and find out....
The best moments are the ones when, that affect people positively and inspire them to laugh and live. 
             But is this, the entire story?
 The Human experience is Unique and every person has something to give, you just need to see it from my perspective and I craft words, actions and events from this very human angle.

Ade's Journal Part 6

Ade's Journal Part 6
My Valentine & The Elegance Of A Clean Breakup

Ade's Journal Part 5

Ade's Journal Part 5
My Scrumptious Valentine Kiss

Ade's Journal Part 4

Ade's Journal Part 4
A Scorpion is not a Lobster

Ade's Journal Part 3

Ade's Journal Part 3
My Insane Week Before Valentine

Ade's Journal Part 2

Ade's Journal Part 2
He Had The Guts To Come Back

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Wednesday, 15 March 2017

The Wall Gecko Myth


"ADE'S JOURNAL", 9

   Scrunching and squeezing my serrated body like it was glued together. At first, I tried to bed and twist and instead, I looked like I was going to shatter and break. Luckily, I was built with quiet gaps that emerge and expose hidden spaces. Indeed, I was fortunate to be so blessed and free
 But freedom is an illusion and as hunger drives me towards my next meal. It drive another to dig and peck and find me. Unlike the skinny worms all around, this millipede is plump and ripe and the predator abandons it's spiny ripe like meal and pecks at me. The exoskeleton, I have bragged about, crumbled and my juicy interior is exposed. And as I stretch, a step forward, I watched with my side eye this being salivate and try to gulp me up and eat quickly. I move my million limbs, but I'm now upside down. These strange, skinny creatures that ribs showed from starvation amongst abundance. Got distracted by  a large  cockroach. Running away from a predator that didn't see it at first. It's iodine color, attracts the chicken and my attacker me.  And the roach died, leaving behind a massive gap in the earth. Like a swarm of bees, they dug up and dug out and a historical prey feeding on the predator, changed all the rules of engagement. As I live to fight this life, another freaking day.....
       Now it begins.

    The phone calls and the annoying feedback from busybodies. What is their problem?
   I have a headache and I cannot self medicate. Did you hear?
That taking fizzy or carbonated drinks with vitamin c, create poison in the body. So that phrase, more than a spoon full of sugar and bubbles, makes the medicine go down but creates poison also. Do you know, how many children have taken this deadly combination?
 Celine was passionately, sharing the news with me and I was just nodding my head.
 We were at an amala joint in shitta. One coded joint, she told me, I would never eat amala, elsewhere, if I tasted theirs. Actually, what I wanted, was yam porridge and vegetable. But, Celine insisted, I try their Amala.
 My dear friend continued her tale about benzoic acid, clashing with vitamin C.
      Lord save us in this our modern world.
It was a result of a court case, that exposed the harm, bottling companies expose us all to.
Thank God passionate people and well informed, health conscious people. Now we have no excuse, we now know the truth.
 Just like Celine knows that, this place is no longer, her home.
'Ade, I miss Paris', she said out of the blues.
'I can imagine', I add excited to catch up on her and Pierre's romantic repair of their cracked relationship.

 My mother is calling me and I get all anxious and excited. And why not, it's almost a reality. I too will soon be a mother, this pregnancy is really all excited and sweet.
'Hello, mummy, e Kaa San', I greeted her good afternoon in my native Yoruba tongue. Bending slightly and kneeling, showing a sign of respect, to my mum. Who cannot see me courtesy to greet her.
'Omomi, igba wo, le yinmejeji le waa?'
The question made me think,why would my over protective mother, want Henrik and I at her place? It was an unusual request, from my mum. Who has said, time and again. Stay at home and rest. She wanted me healthy and stress free. But not today? Something was up. In fact, I knew someone was up to her usual antiques.
'MUMMY', I said with so much emphasis, she knew I had caught scope.
'She is there, right?', I asked my mum.
 My crazy Auntie snatched the  phone from her hand and started berating me
'You, you refused to come and see me, shaaaaa'
 She grumbled.
As if, her daughter visited my mum before having her baby. From what I heard, she was in labour in a mushroom church and it was my aunt's son in law, crying wolf and threatening to sue all of them, including the church. If anything happened to his wife and baby. If not, they would have died there. She was rushed to the hospital and just in time. The baby was breeched and the cord round its neck. A C-section, that she grumbled about, until today, saved the mother and child. But my aunt said it was his mother, that tangled the babies neck and he prayers and her prophet's prayers that saved the baby and her daughter.
   If it was someone else, or I was ten years younger, I would have argued with her. But now, I understand that that everyone has their beliefs. I try not to argue with my Mrs. Know-it-all Auntie.
'Ade, how are you and the babies doing?'
 I was upset. Why did my mum, tell her?Now, the entire world will know that i am pregnant.
'Just know that I say this out if love and the revelation, I was given to you. You know you don't pray, start to pray ooo. And beware of the wall gecko'
 I chuckled quietly.
'Do not let anyone, feed you wall geckos or let any walk across you'
 I give Celine a blank look and she whispered.
'It's your Auntie, right?'
'Ade, this is serious, just keep praying and your family will be fine'
 I did not want to dignify her prophecy of doom with an answer.
' That is all, your mother and I are fasting. And my pastor, ti Gori oke'
 When isn't he on on a spiritual mountain, praying? I thought quietly and rolled my eyes with contempt.
'So, you are fine and we love you, okay?'
 My Auntie knew I was agitated, so those last words were not about love. They were about soothing my rage.
'Goodbye Aunt', I add as emotionalessly as possible.

 The vegetable soup was almost done and the meat looked so inviting, that I could not wait to dig in.to this, amala that keeps Lagosians spellbound.
 Celine got a plate and started eating.
'Pray first', I add.
 Celine licked her fingers and I shake my head.
'I've prayed', she lied and laughed.
My meal came and like the spoiled child I was. I picked the meat up first.
The woman had given me round-about, brokoto, cow intestines, against my wishes.
'Madam, I specifically said I only want beef', I grumbled.
 As I dangle the spiny part, Celine stops eating.
 I look at what I thought was an intestinal part and saw limbs and a flat head.
'Is that a wall gecko?', Celine asked.
 My heart jumped out of my chest and my stomach hurt.
 Just like my Aunt predicted, I almost swallowed a taboo, a forbidden meal.

  A wall gecko in my Soup.

Celine started throwing up and I just stared at the dead wall gecko, wrapped in vegetable soup.

  At this junction, I have to ask.
What do you do, if you are in my shoes? Especially, right now.....






**Season 1, Episode 9**
*"ADE'S JOURNAL", 9, COPYRIGHT 2017*
**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE, COPYRIGHT 2017**
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