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About Me

My photo

 My story may shock you, but then again your situation may be worse. Delve in and find out....
The best moments are the ones when, that affect people positively and inspire them to laugh and live. 
             But is this, the entire story?
 The Human experience is Unique and every person has something to give, you just need to see it from my perspective and I craft words, actions and events from this very human angle.

Ade's Journal Part 6

Ade's Journal Part 6
My Valentine & The Elegance Of A Clean Breakup

Ade's Journal Part 5

Ade's Journal Part 5
My Scrumptious Valentine Kiss

Ade's Journal Part 4

Ade's Journal Part 4
A Scorpion is not a Lobster

Ade's Journal Part 3

Ade's Journal Part 3
My Insane Week Before Valentine

Ade's Journal Part 2

Ade's Journal Part 2
He Had The Guts To Come Back

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Wednesday, 12 April 2017

The Fool Demands For 500 Destroys Three Million For It


"ADE'S JOURNAL", 17
 
       The lone hyena struts and bounces, taking larger strides as it approaches it's prize. A succulent juicy rodent rodent-like meal with spiny fur. Munching majestically and totally ignorant of the strength of the predator lurking around and behind it. The prey is too busy munching on the scrumptious green shoots from an Agbalumo tree, cut down to save the foundation of an old house, tilting from the strength of the root of the massive tree. I can smell how rich and delicious this meal will be and if you must know, my family lurks near, waiting for me to strike.The heat is escalating and the streams have dried up and the wells, sealed off because of rumors of cholera. These strange two-legged beings, spread horrific tales to control a confused people and to cause panic. Not to worry, I will get my drink from one of these homosapiens right now, a rodent rodent-like one will do. But for now, let me wait and squat at the neck high dry grass in the bushes. The sound of hope lingers in the air and as I pounce and strike, my canines sink deep into the spiny back of my prey. The taste of the salty iron rich blood, quenches my thirst, for I am victorious. Many have tried, experienced and skilled but none can and only  I know how. I let go, not because it's spines prick at my jaw and cause my jaw to bleed. I'm too hungry to care about that. What I want is for the rumors to stop. For my mother's label as a witch to end and for the stigma inflicted upon this Hyena clan to stop. My mother's swift movement catches the fleeing prey and a large chunk of it vanished down her throat. She realized that she was greedy and paused, she set down the prize and I rush and bite into it and swallow. Bitter is the taste of bile, the taste of entitlement and greed. I stop and look out at the field, there's a fat cow behind a flimsy bamboo gate. My mouth waters in the blazing hot sun. And the three fattest cows, turn to my skinny bony structure. They Melt like Ice cream, all Beautiful and delightfully succulent. The three flavours look like three ice cream scoups in a beautiful bowl.
The male is thick and massive, like sweet vanilla flavor, mine to take. The female is pink strawberry flavor is juicy and ripe, tender and succulent I imagine. And the dark chocolate is smaller but I can taste the tender interior already.
This is my garden of Eden.
 But alas, the sound of an archaic shakabula rings in the air, no doubt to scare me and my family away from a bigger prize. I look behind him, he is alone. The one person with him is shaking, afraid of the strength of our numbers. I approach and he does not shoot. There are no more bullets. In all my rage I burn, I scorched him and his partner. And why not, they dare deny me my prize. The ranch is on fire and I watch it reduce to ashes. Until I realized that we were surrounded. My mother tries to escape and I leap and jump over and into the crowd. I am clear and have gone, until my mother's screams stop me. She has been caught and struggle's to set herself free. I turn around and know it is over. I will be judged harshly by people who don't know me.
   I heard them say, that, The Fool Demands For 500 Destroys Three Million For It. I know not about the value of things, only about hunger and thirst and doing all I can to quench and satisfy my needs.
As the verdict is read and the chains clasped around my neck. I watch my family watch me. I am to be imprisoned, to be shackled for life, to go about hungry and be stigmatized by my ignorance and greed for all eternity....

   Maybe I'm in denial, but are people this dumb? This man destroyed two point five million Naira worth of goods because of five hundred naira. This is a symptom of something bigger. A sign that my Beautiful country is heading for doom, that the unenlightened masses are vulnerable and easily manipulated. Their hunger and need has eroded their values. Yes a crime has been curbed and justice will be served. But there is fire on the mountain and we better start paying attention.
  Henrik thinks I'm overreacting, that this incident is too far out and up north of Nigeria to affect us here in Lagos. But I know better, we all know much can happen anytime. And there is a need to create more awareness before this horrid plague spreads. Every government organization tries but it's not enough, at least not here in Nigeria.
'Ade, you forget that it's a free world. People can choose to be informed or ignorant'
'Henrik, some people don't know any better, don't or can't have a choice'
'And then the law clamps down hard on then'
'Where it's a remote area, a quiet border town. Where survival is key and law and order absent, what then? Hehnn.....'
'Then people must bond together and rise up. Or suffer the consequences'
 He is right, even without the presence of a federal or state legal arm or law enforcement. There is a Community with elders and a ruling council. Man is gregarious like that. Every man's action, has consequences.
 At this very minute my phone rang again. It's not who you think, so relax. It's an old friend quite alright but not a guy.
'Are you going to pickup?', Henrik made a point.
This my old friend has been calling and I do not know if I want to be dragged down that muddy road again.
'She won't stop calling'
'Henrik, how do these people keep getting my number?'
'Dog headedness?'
 I sighed and picked up the phone.
'Hello?'
'Ade, it's me Khadijatu'
'Yes?'
'Can I see you?'
'Dont you have other people you can call?'
'He chased all my friends away'
'Who?', it was silly of me to ask when the answer on the telephone could not help but be crystal clear.
'Frank, of course', Khadijatu said in a high pitched voice as if irritated by my lack of acknowledgement of the fact that she has only ever loved one man.
 I rolled my eyes at her, as if she could see me.
'Please I need to talk to you', my former friend adds.
'K, I have moved on. I was attacked by his new psycho girlfriend and...'
'They are getting married, church and court....'
'K, I don't care'
I cut the phone and tossed it across my bed. It missed and lands on the floor and I wail and dive after it.
    Henrik was laughing.
I find the phone in three pieces, the front the back and the battery.
'See what she made me do', I grumbled.
'My dear, she didn't...'
 The look I gave Henrik made him keep quiet.
 I just giggled and Henrik let out a sigh of relief.
'Your temper is shorter, now that you are pregnant. I walk on egg shells with you, you know'
    I shrieked and tickled him and he did the same and I screamed and laughed loud.
'Don't let me pi on myself'
 He stopped And i farted, the first since we have been together and he froze.
I was so embarrassed and hung my head and he kissed me.
'Why?'
'You could have hidden that from me'
'I was too tired to get up', I tried to defend myself.
'No ooo, you could not control it'
 I giggled and hugged him, he truly knows me.
'Do we still go out today?'
'I can drive...'
'Abeg Ade, the driver will take us'
  I place the battery back into my phone.
'He is two hours late'
Henrik looks at his phone and cursed.
'I will drive, are you ready?'
'I would not miss this for anything'

 Let me update you, with what is going on. Right now, Daniel has invited us to his house for dinner. I closed early from work, so that we could get ready for this special day.
From what Henrik told me ooo, it seems like he wants to propose. I could not help but call Ajoke to find out what she knows. Right now, they are in my living room, waiting.
  Bala has-been grumbling that he is hungry and Ajoke tries to quell his anger and failed.
'Ade, we are going ooo', Ajoke shouts from the living room.
I run and hit the edge of the bed and Henrik catches and saved me from banging my head on the sharp corner edge of our massive bed. The silence and shock on our faces lingered on.
'I'm calling the furniture house, this bed is going's
'But...'
'Ade, if you were home alone?'
'Dont change the matress', I plead with my husband.
'Safety is everything, I'll change it to a round edged frame with the mattress outshooting over the mattress'
'Fine'
 It made sense.
By the time I stepped out, Ajoke was gone and Celine was munching on spring rolls I made for Henrik.
'Celine, that's for Henrik'
 I grumbled and packed up the remaining, the shock on Celine's face made me laugh.
'But I've ordered lobsters for you and Henrik'
'Thank you, but what I want is giant prawns, swimming in mayonnaise and vignette with fresh black pepper and....'
   I was biting into the spring roll and Celine joined me. Henrik walks into the living room.
'I thought that was for later?'
'Lobsters, is for later'
 We all dive in and finish the bowl with six spring rolls. Then the Lobster arrive.
"Unless, we won't eat any food in Daniel's house...'
 She was talking to me and Henrik smacked the lobster from my fingertips.
I licked my fingers and stare at him.
'Let's go, you know Daniel will be more than prepared for us'
'And Ajoke and Bala are there already'
 That worked, I did not like Ajoke getting gist before me.

  Daniel's home was beautiful and the chef of the day was fantastic. Bala was munching on the largest lobsters I've ever seen.
'One costs how much now?'
'Sixty to one hundred thousand'
'For one lobster?', Celine asked again as if she did not hear the chef.
'Really?', Henrik was surprised.
'Fresh and succulent one, yes'
   My dear husband just figured how much my favorite delight cost.
Daniel stepped out in a smart shirt and trousers. He looked tall dark and Scrumptious. And did not see any one else but me.
'Ade, you are absolutely glowing'
'Thanks and your lobsters are delicious'
'You told the chef?'
'Five times now'
 He leaned over to my ears.
'He will make you fresh ones as you are leaving and you can go home with live lobsters '
 I shrieked and hugged him and he turned and smiled at Henrik.
'Well, you need to bribe her to get a hug', he was spiteful as ever.
I grab Henrik's hands and he yanked me away from Daniel's embrace.
I could tell what he was going to do and got embarrassed. He plants a delicate peck on my lips and I was shocked. It was sweet and innocent and I respond with my arms around his neck and give him a soft kiss.
'E done do oooo', Daniel screamed
 Nnoye was watching it all and her smile vanished.
Clueless me, ran and hugged her.
'My dear, is it true?', I asked searching her fingers for a engagement ring.
It made her class her hand and look down.
I messed up, she had no clue and I had it the bell before the cat.
Daniel raised his glass and clinked at it with a teaspoon.
'I would like you all to raise your glasses towards a special friend and my partner's
   I was too excited and then, noticed Ajoke giving me a look. Daniel was looking at me and then I understood. I left Nnoye's side and walked up to Ajoke. Forcing Daniel to focus entirely on Nnoye.
'This is to mark our union together'
 He brings out a box and we all gasp. For real, Daniel is going to propose.
He opened the box and Nnoye had tears in her eyes. Ajoke chuckled quietly and I elbowed her.
By the time I looked back up, it was diamond earrings.
'Happy anniversary, farming'
    The shock and disappointment on Nnoye's face showed. I had to do something. So, I clapped and cheered and the clueless Daniel kissed Nnoye.
 Celine points at the door and the sound of a baby fills the room. It was Opeyemi, she was showing and looked like she was six months pregnant.
'Thanks for not inviting the baby sitter'
Her angry words stung like a bee and I backed them and faced Henrik.
'Let's go to the kitchen and see the lobsters'
I wanted to escape the drama.
'Ade, stay and witness this', Opeyemi screamed.
'Here, take your niece and your everything. I am no longer going to be in this Mayhem', Opeyemi screamed.
The rage in her voice woke the sleeping child.
  Daniel collects his niece and goes after her.
Nnoye irritated by the drama, storms into one of the room and everybody turned to me.
'Why?', I asked angered by what they were all implying that I should do.
'Do something', Celine adds.
'Abeg jare, let's go and see the live lobsters '
'Ade, you need to go after her?'
'Celine, which of them'
 Ajoke laughs.
'Your best friend of course, Nnoye'
  I rolled my eyes at Ajoke and Henrik squeezed my hand and stopped me from entering the kitchen.

    How swiftly, Joy turns into disaster. Why do my friends always turn me into a counselor. Or a psychiatrist, I'm not in the mood ooo.


The question is, how do you not help a friend in need, when there is an inevitable disaster waiting to happen.

Na real waa.





**Season 1, Episode 17**
*"ADE'S JOURNAL", 17, COPYRIGHT 2017*
**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE, COPYRIGHT 2017**
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