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About Me

My photo

 My story may shock you, but then again your situation may be worse. Delve in and find out....
The best moments are the ones when, that affect people positively and inspire them to laugh and live. 
             But is this, the entire story?
 The Human experience is Unique and every person has something to give, you just need to see it from my perspective and I craft words, actions and events from this very human angle.

Ade's Journal Part 6

Ade's Journal Part 6
My Valentine & The Elegance Of A Clean Breakup

Ade's Journal Part 5

Ade's Journal Part 5
My Scrumptious Valentine Kiss

Ade's Journal Part 4

Ade's Journal Part 4
A Scorpion is not a Lobster

Ade's Journal Part 3

Ade's Journal Part 3
My Insane Week Before Valentine

Ade's Journal Part 2

Ade's Journal Part 2
He Had The Guts To Come Back

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Saturday, 2 September 2017

The September We Never Remembered


"ADE'S JOURNAL", 58

    Tiny drizzles of acid rain slapped my tough short coat, my aching muscles shake and shove off the balls of mismatched elements stinging at my delicate skin. Awkward looking beings run and walk all around me and away from the waters from the sky. I do not like the pressure exerted by the rain or the splash of water from beasts they ride that coughs up smoke. This new world is something made out of nightmares.
  Yes, this ram staggered onwards, unsure of what was going to happen. Worried about how this rain would affect my skin and fur, would it discolour it? I'm not sure but , I know something isn't right. Suddenly, the hunger pangs yank at the four corners of my stomach, distracting me so much that I begin to search. So much so, that I ignore the good flogging the rain is giving me and pause and find it. I begin to swirl and swim in the glory of the chlorophyll rich grass sprouting from the earth. The grass tasted different, maybe, because of the plastic bag decaying underneath the roots. It's mixed up and merged with my food. I try to get rid of the thick blue bag my grass tore and grew out of. This strange meal I used my powerful, youthful jaws to uproot out from the earthworm filled g all around me.
 It tastes like a mix of chemicals at first and makes me gag. And then my entire body kind of relaxes. Maybe because I am now focusing on how relieved I am. Hunger will make you eat anything and not just hunger for food. It's the need to fulfill a need. And today, I will do just that.....
    Vivacious, that's exactly how I feel right now. I am ready to enjoy this Sallah celebrations. And yes, I used a ram analogy to describe my chaotic life. But who wouldn't?
My nephew's are impressed by the creature that we all surround and wait to be slaughtered. I will not say I am not impressed, but it's like this every year. I am still that child excited by the fact that at the end of the day, a variety of meat is going to be served up and eaten. Only now, I have my delegated task.
By now, you would expect us to have a butcher on speed dial, right. Well, not my folks. He first gets ready to go and give a special thanks giving to God. Thanking him for life and a healthy family, which is great. Then he and my brothers go and buy the RAM and get one where they buy it.
I just have my many cousins and friends help me get out the massive cooking pots, coolers and cooking utensils.
This year the butcher is fast. The ram has been diced nd sliced to perfection. And then it begins, the negotiations for the right to parts in the ram. I watch them batter words and wonder if this happens in other parts of the world. They come to an agreement and I just wait for parts of the meal I would never go to the market to buy.

  The brain and the head.

 Also, I do the task of preparing goat head pepper soup and ofals. Of course, I've stopped eating the intestines, I can't even bring myself to taste anything made from it. Just like I stopped eating snails, octopus and squids. Not because I'm irky about it. But thank the National Geographic Channel for that. They featured disease ridden wildlife that plays in my mind Everytime I see these in a plate. Somehow, other memories of others don't register or play in my mind.
 Did I mention that in-between, I rescue kids crawling towards television wires, hinges of doors and bottles. There are enough adults all around but not all catch these children up to mischief on time.
It's all fun and games and a serious balancing act. Especially, trying to resist cute children arms stretched, reaching out in baby words and almost crying until you carry and rock them. Also Ajoke's kids won't let me drop them down and seem to be jealous I'm carrying other kids. She and Bala are here briefly, they sneaked out to be with Henrik, me and my family. And Ajoke makes sure we video call and involve Celine and my sister. Which brightens today a lot more  Even though, they too have guests and escape from us too as quickly as they appear.

 Before I go into today's wonderful and amazing reunion. Let me just update you about my crazy friend Nnoye. And her getting stuck on the water in the middle of the night.
An old school mate of ours invited her on a journey into isolated Islands in Lagos. I well get very relaxed around water. Too relaxed and have the urge to push, which is to soon for my babies to come out. So I don't do bubble baths or stay in swimming pools without at least one doctor that has delivered at least ten healthy babies.
 I'm a first time, expecting mum, so don't blame me. Nnoye is too, infact, she would not ever enter the water with me. Saying it was unsafe and all. Even though I assured her the pool cleaners were Henrik's office contractors.
Fast forward to that faithful night, she had taken an exclusive deal that came with a range Rover as payment. The latest to do a document.entary on elusive Lagos Islands. Her pregnancy risks meant she negotiated higher and my girl would be chauffeur driven for a week at the end of the week long community project. Oh, of course the communities too would benefit. Schools, hospitals, computer training centers and sports utilities. It was all win win as they even added a bonus. They would pay her to sign a contract to film her wedding if she agreed to do other projects and get Ajoke and I on board. The only problem was that, they would use their amenities until new ones could be built. That's how she got stranded and stuck with a motor on a canoe that stopped working in the middle of the Lagoon.
 I was worried and didn't know what to do. But Ajoke had boat guys all over the Lagoon front and asked which one she used.
A nervous Nnoye says Wale and she laughed. From my living room, Ajoke organized a rescue team and impressed us all. She said she had been stranded on all kinds of beaches and Lagoon fronts in Lagos. All because she and her crazy friends tried to recreate magazine photoshoots. In fact, their crew had to buy him a new engine because he used to paddle them across. His older engine only took them across and never back.
 I had a new respect for Ajoke, I would never have or ever take such risks.
 It was another hour under the rain before they were rescued and Nnoye swore she would never go on any water with tiny boats. Which none of us believed, of course.

  Back to today, Nnoye fights a cold as she sits quietly in one corner. She's waiting impatiently for Daniel and come to think of it. I haven't seen him in a while, he arrives in regal white buba and sokoto. Looking really good, almost as great as his uncle who was with him.
'Otunba', I say and courtesy.
'My dear', he hugs me.
'I did not know you were in town's, I add dragging him to meet with my parents that love him.
  I could see Henrik frowning and Nnoye trying to act like she did see us. Guilt ridden, I stop and smile at him.
'Otunba congratulations', I add referring to Note and Daniel's union.
 He hugged me and whispered, 'they are not married yet'
 I chuckled and slap his back and walk him straight to Nnoye. He rolled his eyes at me.
'Should she not have seen me', he grumbled.
 As if Nnoye heard from way act the room, she stands up and practically runs towards us. Otunba greed her with his nose in the air and I shake my head.
'Otunba, isn't this cute. The baby from Daniel you always wanted'
 I point and almost touch her baby bump. I know I don't want people touching mine.
Nnoye laughed and grabbed my hand and Otunba's.
'Feel him, he knows family is around'
 She was not kidding, the baby was doing a somersault.
Otunba laughed and I take his other hand and give Nnoye his.
'Welcome to the family', Otunba was sold and won over.
 I hear Daniel say it's a girl and search the room for my own man. Henrik was watching us and standing with my nephew in his arm.
 I walk up to him and hug them both and my nephew practically hops into my arm.
 Henrik gives me a warm quick kiss and melts my heart. I am in heaven with this man, happy to be carrying our babies and my nephew at the same time.
'You know you will be the first to give your mum a baby girl'
 Henrik was right, my family was in the habit of birthing boys. It was filled with Aunties and uncles going up to five trying and my mum constantly been reminded she was blessed to have both. At an equal amount for that matter.
 I was too happy to have a boy and a girl too and Henrik got on his knees and talked to them.
'Daddy can't wait to meet you both'
 I smiled so much that my teeth ached.

And then I see her, at first I'm sure it's just a look alike. But no, it's not. It's actually her, the crazy woman engaged to be married to my ex ex. Not Mr. H, nope. The idiot that forced me to reevaluate my turbulent life. She was here with my brothers new colleague.

  Am I supposed to act like I don't know the psycho or am I supposed to go and ask her why she is here. No need, the stupid girl is walking towards me and my anger meter is climbing fast. I forget my uncle's and aunties are in the room and my cousin's...

 Today, all hell will break loose, this elephant is going to stamp and crush anything that comes her way....






**Season 2, Episode 58**
*"ADE'S JOURNAL", 58, COPYRIGHT 2017*
**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE, COPYRIGHT 2017**
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