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About Me

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 My story may shock you, but then again your situation may be worse. Delve in and find out....
The best moments are the ones when, that affect people positively and inspire them to laugh and live. 
             But is this, the entire story?
 The Human experience is Unique and every person has something to give, you just need to see it from my perspective and I craft words, actions and events from this very human angle.

Ade's Journal Part 6

Ade's Journal Part 6
My Valentine & The Elegance Of A Clean Breakup

Ade's Journal Part 5

Ade's Journal Part 5
My Scrumptious Valentine Kiss

Ade's Journal Part 4

Ade's Journal Part 4
A Scorpion is not a Lobster

Ade's Journal Part 3

Ade's Journal Part 3
My Insane Week Before Valentine

Ade's Journal Part 2

Ade's Journal Part 2
He Had The Guts To Come Back

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Tuesday, 23 January 2018

Shields Up


"ADE'S JOURNAL", 99

    It is two weeks and six days to the deadline but I am determined to make it. I sit here, thinking about my life and how it all turned out. I guess I imagined I made different choices and I am  a different age and in a different place. Where i wanted to escape to where I walked away from that boy with pretty eyes  and the other one that had a WrestleMania type body. All not very good for me, they were pretenders and liars playing a part to woo me into their lies. They hated my free and upbeat aura and crushed all that made me, me. Why did I let them, because I could not admit I had been conned into believing they were real. So I played along and let me become a shadow of myself. Until I could no longer hide me and a silver Moon brought out the werewolf inside. I clawed and bit my way out of the rot. And scarred and wounded, I stood proud and happy I made it. But my pack would not let me forget, so I moved away. A lone wolf fighting in extreme hot and cold terrains. I made some kills my former entire pack could not achieve. And I did make some tiny almost shameful kills too. But I survived and found a new pack, they were good for me until they were not. I was doing everything, the front man, the hunter and the protector. It was wearing me out and just as I was going to leave this pack, my former pack showed up. They showed off what I missed and were impressed I was now a leader. Lured me into abandoning my quest and kept me under their rule. I was back to square one, an underdog. I had to get out and when I did, scars of broken trust and hope re-emerged. The truth is I should never have gone back to a pack that had no faith in me. Back to squabbling and accepting a plane mediocre life. Two years stolen and my spirit broken, I have gained a new experience. Today, my shield is up and I am ready. I may be distracted and afraid to face a new chapter in my life. But I will shake it off and step ahead and right into a brand new future with me in charge.
   The annoying hum of a large diesel generator fills the cold humid air with murky noise, clouding my ability to conjure up new ideas. This morning is irritating on all levels, I am here waiting and sitting down and she has the guts to ask me, what I was doing with him.
Even adds that once she has her baby, her breast milk will help both siblings bond. And that there was no more need for mine, you see why old friends can just be irritating idiots.
 See me see trouble ooo, just before I complain Ajoke squeezed my shoulders and asked me to ignore her. And blamed her stupid nonsense talk on the pain from child birth of should I say labour.
As the doctors wheeled her into the room, Daniel tried to console me and I snapped at him.
'Don't touch me'
   I don't want anyone touching me, especially him. Why do I always have to be in this situation with him? Everyone thinks he cares so much for me but he doesn't, just look at him.
 My former and I say former best friend, because she can't come back from this one. Is having his baby and Ajoke is carrying his other child from Opeyemi. Both women are a mess and somehow, I got caught up in the middle.
'Is it my fault, I lost my babies and have breast milk', I was crying and asking Ajoke.
My been upset, upset Angel who starts crying.
'Ade please...', Daniel starts to say and is cut short by a nurse.
'She wants you in there', the nurse pleads.
 I sit down and massaged my forehead and squeeze away annoying tears.
'God, I miss Henrik', I did not plan to say it. It just happened and I start to cry and then he tries to comfort me. It was all messy and sad and Ajoke too starts to cry.
 It was Angel's cries that made me stop and I collect her from Ajoke and apologize for upsetting her.
'Ssshhhh', she calmed down and then I noticed Daniel kneeling in front of me.
'Thanks you, I may not say it often enough. You are a true friend and....'
  I shake my head and rock Angel to sleep.
'Good and welcome your second child to the world'
'I should have fought harder for you...'
 The nurse returned and I helped him up.
'Go now or I will go in there'
 He holds my hands and stares at me and then leaves.
Ajoke clears her throat.
'What?', I ask my unserious friend.
'You two could have...'
'... Like he said, he didn't fight hard enough. Here'
 Ajoke collects Angel.
'I am going home'
'Wait a little'
'Why?'
 The nurse comes back out, 'Madam Ade she wants you'
'That is exactly why, she can't accuse me of stealing Daniel and expect me to be the child's godmother'
'I know but, don't break your friendship today...'
'Its already broken'

'Exactly ABI ooo.... Once she chased after a man that clearly loved you'
'He didn't'
'For peace sake, go and see her, Ade also because of your show'
  I turned back at the word 'show', I know she will paint me out to be the bad egg and I don't want that. So I push away my rage and my foolish pride and go in...

  The emergency theatre had a familiar sickening smell, a memory I will live with forever. The last place I saw him alive, beside me.
'Ade, I am so sorry'
'Nnoye it's fine'
'Please forgive me, I just feel like an outsider with you around Daniel'
'You know we were friends long before you came and will always be friends'
'I swear I do, I am always so jealous of your Bond'
'Nnoye, he chose you. You are having his baby, I need you to remove me from this equation. I can't be here'
'But...'
'Henrik died in a theatre beside me, I am all alone and I need to grieve. You are strong and will have a safe delivery by God's grace'
'Amen'
I squeeze her hands and leave, I did not look at Daniel I just walked away.

  Celine helped me pack my one bag from Ajoke's house to mine, Bala was kind enough to drive me there. It was a five minute drive.
My phone's were off, so I was more relaxed. And Celine had ordered ice cream and Lobsters. She wanted us to go out but I promised to, just before she leaves next week Tuesday
We sit on the floor and munch on the food and just rest.
'Nnoye had you and Daniel in there'
'It was like one of my horrid nightmares was becoming real'
'Thanks God you left, that girl is manipulative'
'Not according to her'
'poor Daniel'
'He made his bed'
'She has been calling'
'Abeg the world does not revolve around her'
'Still giving your breast milk?'
'She clearly said she was capable'
'What is wrong with that girl?'
'No clue, don't care'
'Really?'
'I've already started taking stuff to stop the milk, that is over'
'Because of her'
'No because of me, did I tell you about my dream?'
'The wolf and warrior with a shield or is it an armour?'
'I need to move forward and not back'
'I understand'
  She cracks open a pincer with her teeth and I gasp.
'It was already cracked', she lied.
 I chuckled and shake my head.
'Its good to see you laugh'
'I feel guilty when I do'
'You should not'
 As she says the words, I hear Henrik say the exact words and reach out to touch him.
'You still see him'
'Like he is here, but I can't hold him'
 Celine hugs me.
'I will hug you for her', Celine adds as if she too was talking to him.
'Don't tell Ajoke that I am encouraging you oooo'
 I sit up and take some more ice cream.
'Unless you want a deliverance ceremony, you better keep it to yourse'
 My words make her laugh and then I realized what flavor of ice cream she was having.
'There is Bailey's Irish cream in your ice cream'
'Yes but you can't...'
'...Now I can. I am no longer breast feeding'
 It was strange to say it but it was the truth.
'Should we move on to business?'
'Bring out the sketch pads, Nnoye has had her baby and the show must go on'
'She wants a blue theme for her outfits'
'That is fine, I'm just glad I'm hardly in the picture. It's so much easier to see things clear... When you are not'
'Well Ajoke, Ashabi and I are.. Besides, you will have to show up'
'Do you know we didn't have a baby shower'
'Because the baby didn't want to come'
'So let's have a #babyreign you know. After...'
'A baby reign, can we call the new collection that?'
'As long as I keep the copyright'

 I know there will be a party, the question is where and who will attend?
From what Celine told me, Nnoye moved with the baby into Dani house and he has filled for full custody of his baby. I don't know how she is taking the news, but I know that Daniel's family got ten senior advocate lawyers to handle the case.
 All I'm after is to make this show great and they all seem to be giving us great material to work with.

 My biggest issue now is, how I will reintroduce myself to my show. Especially after all the tragedy I experienced.
 This public life is harder than it looks, Lord have mercy.










**"ADE'S JOURNAL" Season 2 Episode 99**
*"ADE'S JOURNAL", 99, COPYRIGHT 2018*
**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE, COPYRIGHT 2018**
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