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About Me

My photo

 My story may shock you, but then again your situation may be worse. Delve in and find out....
The best moments are the ones when, that affect people positively and inspire them to laugh and live. 
             But is this, the entire story?
 The Human experience is Unique and every person has something to give, you just need to see it from my perspective and I craft words, actions and events from this very human angle.

Ade's Journal Part 6

Ade's Journal Part 6
My Valentine & The Elegance Of A Clean Breakup

Ade's Journal Part 5

Ade's Journal Part 5
My Scrumptious Valentine Kiss

Ade's Journal Part 4

Ade's Journal Part 4
A Scorpion is not a Lobster

Ade's Journal Part 3

Ade's Journal Part 3
My Insane Week Before Valentine

Ade's Journal Part 2

Ade's Journal Part 2
He Had The Guts To Come Back

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Saturday, 24 March 2018

Loose My Number Abeg


"ADE'S JOURNAL", 12

  Quietly, I walk into where I have always wanted to be. Stepping over a thick layered fortified see through glass, with massive hammerhead sharks swirling around me like a fluffy cat on a frothy coffee cup.
 The silent muffled sound of a twenty foot shark, slamming into me from below as I head to the bar. There was no bar-woman or waiter, just two drinks i was thinking of. I forget about the sharks and stare at a spotted black cat fish about seven inches long in an aquarium. It sucked up the shiny white almost even pebbles and spits them out. I wondered where it was from as I stare at the creature I believed would not be edible and worried it may be close to becoming extinct. There was no one to complain to or even just share my observations with.
I sip on one drink and then the other, the contrast of Nigerian coconut crushed, freshly squeezed milk, mixed with rum makes me smile. And then the swedish bitters sparks up the lemon infused vodka wakes my taste buds up. Yes, I love me my drinks and yes I miss the one that smells like heaven, my Bailey's Irish cream. This dream was starting off great and I know it's a dream because  I would never order two different liquors. At least the old me wouldn't, the new me would order an orange drink with a bottle of water. I am detoxing if you haven't guessed, even in my dream. Can you imagine, I'm not even trying to hide that I miss drinking. Does this mean that I am a closet alcoholic? Of course not, but I love tastes and right now the older the good liquor is, the more tempting it is. I pick on the equal cubes of watermelon and pawpaws on a stick and smiled when I taste the lemon from my home, way back in the military barracks I spent my teenage years. The sound of a heavy high impact crash mafm me lose balance as my bar still sinks into the sea below. I should be thinking of the shark, right? Wrong.
I am thinking instead, of the last pawpaw going to waste and as I catch it with my mouth, I feel the force of the water sprouting from a hole above its head. It is not a shark but a friendly whale. I just hope it's not hungry....
 Now you see it, now you really do.
What on earth did I get myself into, this woman can be so annoying. I tell her I am a stickler for time and she wastes it. I insist I want things done a certain way and she just can't hear me. What am I supposed to do now, because I feel like I'm going to scream her head off. Maybe I should just bite the uneven shape of head off her scrunny body. Well she is not as skinny as before but that's beside the point. I really need to be far from her right now. And I carry my oversized made in Nigeria pale crocodile skin bag. Yes now, I am proudly Nigerian today. My pale yellow and white ASO OKE palazzo pants and deep brown adire tie top. The slippers was bought on the beach and made by a young graduate who got tired of shopping around his CV. My hair has healed and I was enjoying the new undergrowth, did you hear what I just wrote. New... Undergrowth...
 Lord have mercy, shaa anyway. I was actually achieving my great escape when I heard her shriek.
She never called my name, she screamed it as if she caught me doing something bad.
''What', I screamed back at her annoyed she caught me.
'Ade, what did I do to you?'

'How?', oh I just love my Nigerian English... Very pregnant with meaning.

'You just don't want me around you anymore'
'I am a grieving mother and wife, I have my own issues...'
 Even I could tell I did not want to be around her, there was no hiding it.
'Is it because I said I want to get rid of it?'
'Nnoye, it's your body, your baby and your life'
 Abeg ooo, ask this babe to leaf me naaa.
'I was just been selfish, I am not getting rid of it. I just don't want to think of the drama this will bring up'
'As in?', I was trying to understand her.
'I will be showing by August'
 The smile on my face said it all, this scandalous special is exactly what I need.
Nnoye pregnant, Mr. H proposing to a girl that falsely accused Daniel Ojora as the father. And Celine's baby will be born in Fiji, she already paid the medicals and all.
'Ade are you smiling?'

 See me see wahala ooo, I should frown. Dey there, for me business was booming.

'You are laughing'
'Nnoye, this your show will be a showstopper', I laughed and slapped her back.
She tried not to laugh but couldn't and then she dragged me back into the house.
'Stay let's catch up'
 I did not want to but this babe always had gist and she knows the more scandalous it is, the more intrigued I will be.

 So, my people. NA so I wait ooooo




**"ADE'S JOURNAL" Season 3 Episode 12**
*"ADE'S JOURNAL", 12, COPYRIGHT 2018*
**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE, COPYRIGHT 2018**
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