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About Me

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 My story may shock you, but then again your situation may be worse. Delve in and find out....
The best moments are the ones when, that affect people positively and inspire them to laugh and live. 
             But is this, the entire story?
 The Human experience is Unique and every person has something to give, you just need to see it from my perspective and I craft words, actions and events from this very human angle.

Ade's Journal Part 6

Ade's Journal Part 6
My Valentine & The Elegance Of A Clean Breakup

Ade's Journal Part 5

Ade's Journal Part 5
My Scrumptious Valentine Kiss

Ade's Journal Part 4

Ade's Journal Part 4
A Scorpion is not a Lobster

Ade's Journal Part 3

Ade's Journal Part 3
My Insane Week Before Valentine

Ade's Journal Part 2

Ade's Journal Part 2
He Had The Guts To Come Back

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Wednesday, 27 June 2018

Go Ade Go Ade Go


"ADE'S JOURNAL", 38

   Have you ever been so intent on watching every second that passes by? Staring hard at your screen and hoping to catch every action, as if you directed the show yourself. And just as your eyes glow in the dark room and grabs all flicker of light from your laptop screen tilted slightly forward, a flying termite almost dives into your eyes. You duck and seat at the insect that lands on your keyboard and slam at your precious device. Realizing you could destroy it, you grab the piece of paper you have carefully taken notes on and slam into the crawling insect. And as you fail to kill it, you spot its wings fly away from it and watch it crawl between your keypads. At this moment your rage escalates and you disconnect the plugged charger and shake or try to shake the laptop upside down so the tiny creatures falls out.
It does and you feel justified, knowing you didn't kill it and splash it's insides all over your bedside table. So you place it back on the wooden surface and try to continue to watch your show in a darkened room. Then it happens, there is an onslaught of flying termites. One, five and then ten, all targeting your eyes and just two focused on the laptop screen. It's time to do what you don't want to and I do it anyway. I walk on my knees on my semi hard bed and keep my eyes closed most of the time, until I reach the light switch. I almost fall off and open my eyes as I put on the lights. The amount of flying termites in my room, make me grab my laptop and leave it. They are on their last life line and to spray the room with insecticide, is to fill my allergies with dangerous chemicals. I was not in the mood to then counter the toxins with toxic medicine to release antihistamines into my blood stream. The only solution is to let the creatures have my room for thirty minutes, when they are all wingless and dead I will sweep under my light bulbs and get rid of the pests. That's how this night moved on and that's why I woke up in a chair in my living room.
My head is swirling around in my buoyant light head, as if I am in the middle of a murky milky way, I know I am meant to be amongst the stars. But the stars need their beauty sleep and the tension in my neck is proof my sleep is not enough. So do I shine through like beautiful child, or dim a little Because I was displaced from my room by termites? No, I will stretch a little and smile a little more, for today is a brand new day and another opportunity to try again...
 That's exactly what's going through my head and how I feel right now, as if I am trapped no matter what choice I make. It's unfortunately, as if people are cheering on Go Ade Go Ade Go, yet I am afraid that in that crowd, I will be betrayed. Its not healthy and really makes me imagine all sorts of doom until I am exhausted and can't think.


  Scared? A little, but not because




 I hear her voice and was irritated by her words. She isn't here, but I do remember her once in awhile. Always she asks me to forgive her and like the Mrs. Nice I am, I do.
'What do you want?', I ask as I shove at the hard table I made my pillow this long night that passed.
 Khadijatu hesitates and then adds, 'I just wanted to say hi to you'
'Say hi to all, I add and cut the phone and remove the battery.
I clap my hands as if I have an audience and speak, 'Orisirisi...'
 And then I try to figure out how she got my number and stare at my old phone. I am still a little glaze eyed and sleep still has its clutches on me. I actually loaded the wrong phone yesterday and that's why I could not dial out. But how could she call me? I take the sim card and break it in half and try to remember why I didn't before now.
I remember saying to myself that I had contacts I wanted to store but that's not necessary. Anyone who wants to keep in touch, finds a way. I did not need to hear her voice today.
  Shaaa, there are two independent days that I celebrate. The first of October, Nigeria's and the fourth of July. And one is drawing near and I have not baked any cake in two months, so I will bake one this weekend. I am out of sugar, milk, butter and eggs, but I still have flour from last two months and icing sugar. Oh no colouring, so I have to stack up on that. I have been a home hermit since my date with Daniel, so an outing will do me good. I have a pedicure, shower and pack up my braids and then head to work.
  I have not felt Henrik breathe beside my neck or his voice and he seems far away from my dreams. And then I feel it, my stomach kicks me as if my twins are back home, inside my womb. I curl up and thank God I have parked the car before I got this feeling. The security man rushed and asked me if I am alright. I tell him yes and feel for any pain or life. It was a memory so strong, it hurt. And then I stare at my tears filled eyes in the mirror, I know exactly what I want. I want twins back inside my womb and this time, I don't even want to know the daddy. I want to know that medically the twins won't be at risk and that genetically they are fit and healthy. But I want to raise them on my own, the scandal would be much and my fanatical aunt would have a filled day. But I will be happy and distracted enough to move on with my life.
  I spot Ajoke With her excited twins and get excited in their hands is an ice cream cone.
And they both offer me one each, vanilla and guess. I collect them both and lick it, of course it's hazel nut with chocolate chips and a generous amount of Bailey's Irish cream.
'I insisted they add Irish cream from a fresh bottle'
'I trust you're, I tell Ajoke who seemed more curvy and beautiful.
I was thinking about the former me, the old gullible me.
'You have that look'
'Khadijatu called me'
'What did she want?'
'To see how I was doing'
'Joker... Or did you two make up?'
'Abeg leaf story, I mistakenly loaded my former phone, she was just lonely'
'Ignore her'
'You look good'
'I added five kg and Bala is loving it, I just love how my breasts fill up. Almost like when I was breastfeeding'
'Really?'
'Of course I added padded bra, but it's bigger'
'I see, no school for Hassan and Hussein?'
'Mumps is in the air, I want my boys fertile, so they are out until next week'
'Why ice cream this early?'
''They were crying that they want a sleepover with the boy that brought mumps to school. And his mum gives them ice cream first thing in the morning... So... They don't want to go anymore'
 I laughed and forgot my problems and we all go into my office.
'You worked all night?'
'Termites'
'I miss eating them'
''Ot the large ones...'
'Oh'
'They have grown up so fast'
'ki lon se le?'
'I want mine..'
'With Daniel?'
'No, mine and mine alone'
'You can't have children alone'
'Fertility clinic, sperm bank, maybe with a swedish guy'
 Ajoke laughed.
'I am serious'
'You will need a psych evaluation'
'You don't think I'm mentally fit'
'You are still recovering...'
'You are holding your stomach like you are pregnant'
 I look at my hands cupping my womb and my eyes following the twins and tears drop down my face.
'I wish I was, wish I had slept with Daniel, pumped myself with hormones. I'm such a coward, I want them but I won't even do something that simple'
 Ajoke hugs me and then grabs my bag as the twins hug me.
'Aunty Ade, sorry'
'Lets go', Ajoke says and I carry both twins who squeal and get excited.
My tears dry up and I follow Ajoke.
'My car?'
'Leave it, I'll send my driver to come and pick it up.
In her car, I curl up and shut my eyes, the twins tuck under my arms and we all fall asleep.

  Driving on thousands of uneven gravels tells me that I am in Ajoke's house. No need to cook, or worry about been alone.
  I sit on her sofa and suck on cold malteasers, until her air conditioning unit makes my toes start to freeze and I seriously enjoy the twins running up and down from me like i am a tower.

   Alone in Ajoke's guest room, I am tempted to call him, my childhood friend that called me while I slept in Ajoke's car. But I know that doing so, would have consequences. And really, my relationship with him may have ignited, but genuinely all I want now are kids.
   A quick shower and a simple wrap around, long sleeve navy blue knee length gown and two inch stillethos shoes. I pack my braids in a bun on top of my head and put on peach lip gloss and black eye liner. Inspired look from one of the girls in WAG'S.
  Call me silly but I am still crazy about the show, the clothes, their needs to meet their goals. I always feel like I'm one of them and everyone around me is watching and waiting to see how I end up.
  A phone call changes it all and puts me back on the road, thank God my car is here now.

   The gates to my parents house open and I am glad for a minute, but then she appears.
My crazy Auntie rushes out of the house and to my side. She didn't think about her safety or mine, I slam on the brakes and stare at her. She won't invite me to shout and scream, not today.
'Auntie good evening.'
'Come, quick'
 She grabbed my hand again and I yank my hand away from her and try to breath.
'Auntie Abeg'
'If you like. Shout more than that, me I will help you'
  My mother runs and stands between us, and then hugs me. As she stylishly pulled me away from her troublesome sister.
My two brothers are at the entrance of the house but hiding from my Auntie and laughing at the situation.
'Don't laugh, it's not funny'
  They try to hold in their Laughter and instead  start laughing loud enough for my Aunt to hear and that makes me smile. I look back at my Aunt who is really on a phone call or pretending to receive a call. I can't tell.
 Inside, everyone sits and watches me and I stare at the handsome dark stranger in their midst.
My aunt was trying to matchmake me, is she for real. It seems that no matter how much you raise your shield up and try to protect yourself, all sorts of catastrophic situations pop up.

  Wonders shall never end...


**"ADE'S JOURNAL", Season 3, Episode 38**
*"ADE'S JOURNAL", 38, COPYRIGHT 2018*
**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE, COPYRIGHT 2018**
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