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About Me

My photo

 My story may shock you, but then again your situation may be worse. Delve in and find out....
The best moments are the ones when, that affect people positively and inspire them to laugh and live. 
             But is this, the entire story?
 The Human experience is Unique and every person has something to give, you just need to see it from my perspective and I craft words, actions and events from this very human angle.

Ade's Journal Part 6

Ade's Journal Part 6
My Valentine & The Elegance Of A Clean Breakup

Ade's Journal Part 5

Ade's Journal Part 5
My Scrumptious Valentine Kiss

Ade's Journal Part 4

Ade's Journal Part 4
A Scorpion is not a Lobster

Ade's Journal Part 3

Ade's Journal Part 3
My Insane Week Before Valentine

Ade's Journal Part 2

Ade's Journal Part 2
He Had The Guts To Come Back

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Friday, 31 August 2018

Time Jumps, Too Far Away


"ADE'S JOURNAL", 57

     The sky was without rain clouds and in a beautiful even blue, the reason it's my favorite colour. The golden eagle spreads it's massive wings and soars across the open back compartment of the mini truck. Inside I toss the tennis ball to my eager little sister. In a fit that surprised me, she jumped and caught it and threw it immediately at me. I stretch hard and catch it, twisting and curling my mid section to cushion the effects and impact of my sudden movements. And then, immediately toss it back at her as if I was a pitcher. My brother's cheered on and insist it's their turn and I loose focus for a fraction of a second. The mini truck had taken a turn and the ball my sister threw was going in that curve direction, I jumped and caught it and found myself back at the beginning.
 My uncle had promised us that we could catch the our tennis ball as he drives us all around the fountain in our home in Benin city. I still remember the name of the street, even though it was decades ago and I was just seven years old. We struggle and push each other, eager to test this his theory. And then he declared we start the game by age. That settled the score, my little sister and I were older than my little brother's. I step and climb the mini truck without any ladder, straining my waist and limbs as I did. My adventurous uncle carried my struggling less agile sister into the back of the back of the metal rimmed open-back of the mini truck. She repeats words I've heard before and I toss the tennis ball in her direction. This time I was not surprised, she stretched, jumped and caught it. And I knew which direction she would throw it and caught it. The excitement was less and made me wonder if knowing what would happen before it did, was worth it. And then the mini truck swerved and I dived harder and curled outwards to catch it.
Knowing was predictable but there were also pockets of things missing, I wanted it to happen again.
But Time Jumps, Too Far Away. I wanted more and more and more as I shut my eyes....
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Tuesday, 28 August 2018

Seasoned Life


"ADE'S JOURNAL", 56

  Fear cripples, fear truncates and kills dreams. But it does not signify the end, you can jump start your dreams and reboot your goals. All it takes is the will to want to start all over again and I am ready. My career goals are on track but bless YouTube videos for reminding me that I have not even started. This six year old with her dreams taking off, she is on her third book and has released an album. Is she the brightest? No. Is her voice breaking boundaries and winning Grammies? No. She is enjoying herself and earning quality money while honing her skills.
It's a reminder that I have so much more to do and I should not wait until I am perfect.
Come rain or shine I will hit the airwaves with my show and my Valentine special will be epic. The roses may not be red, in fact I won't be using roses but a mixture of yellow pin and white. All that matters is that I will be Bold and do it now. Take every step towards making my debut show a reality.. How about you....
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Sunday, 26 August 2018

Grin And Smile


"ADE'S JOURNAL", 55

  Swim to me like the great white shark, tasting my essence by a drop in a thousand litres. Watch me float in the salty uneven waters, while I breath and gloat over you.
Listen as my hands slice and push back waves of icy waves and let the inches between us disappear. Do not think I breath and live because of you, don't. The reason your gills take in and deliver oxygen is because I flow through you. Our union is unnecessary and the less I need you, the more I want you. The wicked sun watches us and does not want our union because her love is stuck in the cold freezing night sky. Soon my dear she will be obscured by dark clouds and her unfaithful lover will shine his moonbeams at my crystal clear surface. I stretch far and wide and try hard to escape from the rows of teeth approaching me. He thinks because I let him approach me, that somehow I support this young sharks decision. Like the sun in the sky, doomed mostly to shine during the day. I will fight and try to get an eclipse just like the queen does. Only to catch her lover flirting in the night, but like most who have honed their skills of seduction. The moon allows his queen to shine at night as he claws and woos his way back into his royal position. The queen knows this and the king follows this and just as the shark engulfs my waves, I do too. For I am indeed the seductress in this take and I choose to let this great white shark slip through my salty fingers....
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Thursday, 23 August 2018

Tomorrow Is Another Day


"ADE'S JOURNAL", 54

  The hot afternoon slowly crawls and comes to a stop just as the unbelievable scorching heat, escalates and forces the choking humidity up. This feeling is a familiar one and only means one thing, it makes me look up out from my windows and up to the sky. It did not disappoint, even through my dark oversized sun shades with purple faux flowers embossed plastic rims. Dark raging oversized gray clouds clustered together and clashed into each other. And as they did, they covered and obscured the raging sun that slowly loses its visibility. The heat that engulfs me changes to something else and makes me thirst for a drink as the rains threatened to appear. I could not wait to reach my destination and then the temptation increased, forcing me to stretch, signal and get the attention of the female fizzy drinks hawker. Her outfit made me stare and shake my head, the top was two sizes too small. The faded off white tank top and a tight midi skirt with peplum back slits, made her look uncomfortable as she ran towards the commercial yellow bus with twin black stripes I am in. We were all stationary at first and then, the traffic light that was red turned. Just as the fizzy drink hawker reached the window I stuck stuck my head out of, the traffic light moved from red to yellow quickly and froze at green. I didn't give the hawker change, a complete five hundred naira note was what I waved. The plan was to get her to break the last money in my bag into smaller change, but now I was not in control and our bus was putting a wider margin between us and the hawker. Desperate, the hawker threw her drink at me and I protect my face from a horrid clash with the plastic bottle. The side of my wrist breaks the impact and it lands on my lap. My wrist aches and thrones and the squealing from the other passengers make the driver slow down and snap at all of us. I was in too much pain and this girl hawker snatched the money from me at lightening speed and the bus revs away. More screaming made the driver slam on his brakes and turn to us, he hurled abuses at everyone and threatening to end his trip. The passengers threatened to beat him up and burn his vehicle if he did and I lean back and try to ease the pain in my wrist. The hawker pretends to search for change and road Marshals threaten to confiscate the bus and so the vehicle drives off...
        Ask me why I remember this painful experience that made me spend five times the value of a fizzy drink on a drink that was not even cold, plus hospital visits for my aching wrists? It is because, I just realized who this girl hawker is...
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Sunday, 19 August 2018

Tornado Made Of Fire


"ADE'S JOURNAL", 53

     Twisted and curled up, the winds churned my already troubled mind. Flames spread thin on the dry crackling plain, as they spread quickly over the uneven middle belt plateau. Just then, the barren sky coughed and failed to quench the Earth's thirst, so also did the sprinklers fail to stop this raging fire. It comes alive and starts to merge and stand at attention, high above the hills and then the winds swirled some more as it forms a massive rope extending high up and try to reach the churning sky. It was like a scene from a movie and as I stand here, transfixed and watch this beautiful spiral thread, it's about ten inches thick and stretches to touch the sky.
  This Tornado Made Of Fire, bent and almost buckled, yet it shifts and adheres and sticks to all that was in its path. The relentless fire spread briskly, reaching and scorching and burning everything. And then I feel it and then I see the painful blisters start to form on my exposed arm, absent of sleeves. I turn to run and see that my shoes have melted into the ground and the soil is now like glass shards underneath my feet. The tornado made of fire, duplicates itself once, twice and then ten folds. Quick tears stream down my flushed face cools the skin beneath it, as it tries to run towards my lips and instead, it evaporates. The heat makes me move, because standing still hurts.
  I run far away from the mobile fire and dash across the sandy plain, now glossy and made of glass. I skid off the slippery surface and crash down from the beautiful plateau, to a harsh cold Abuja river. It quickly cools me and stay longer than I should have, underwater. And then, i start to choke and try to breath, instead I swim to the surface and breath and then look at the Zuma rock towering above me. I see shards of glass falling from the magnificent rock towards me and swim away. Far ahead of me, I see the familiar Lagos seashore, it rises and splashes freezing salty goodness on my face. This made me smile and head home, for I know I am made whole. The sea waves start to freeze and I fight and shatter the fresh icicles all around me because..... Nothing is going to stop me....
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Friday, 17 August 2018

The Falling Waters


"ADE'S JOURNAL", 52

   The clapping rain, hits hard on the roof just as hard as the coloured water slams hard and trickles down between the rows in my evenly spaced braids. I jolt, look up and stare at the three rows of irregular rust-coloured spiral patterns in the freshly painted caved-in white asbestos ceiling. I don't know which is worse, the thought of the banned ceiling material causing havoc or the rust filed murky waters, entering the pores on top of my freshly made hair.
The thought of the horror of it all brings about despair to my troubled mind and makes my skin crawl. Just as quickly as it starts, the horrid angry rains stop.
My eyes aches from eyeing the nonliving ceiling and as the blob of water starts to gravitate towards my eyes, I shut and dogde The Falling Waters and stand up. My feet were too tired to move and so, it begins where I end. It all  starts to make sense because I am back to square one, again.   How do I come full circle to this point?
Do you want to know what the worse part is, it is that the barking noisy dog outside, is five years old. How can the Two Of Us, compare? Well, I started this journey of business believing that with hard work, I will achieve a form of stable income by the fifth year. Wolf, the dog in question was just a day old and fierce and strong already. I smiled at its Beautiful wolf like snout and tried to hide my fear.
 Do you want to know what my fear was, back then? I was afraid they had sold me a wolf and checked YouTube videos for dogs that resemble the cute but scary looking puppy I had purchased. It was a huge relief to find out it was not a wolf but a Caucasian dog. Five full long years have passed now and that is, thirty five in dog years. It barks erratically and it is the grace of God that my dog hating neighbors have not poisoned it. It never howls just barks like a massive angry dog and I do not like to admit it. But just like her, I am exhausted. And I ask myself, is this struggle worth it? And the I realize I am not alone, my house guest has caught me doing the unthinkable. She freezes and hides behind the door, I hear she has a journal and now I am going to be one of those crazy desperate girls she writes about....
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Friday, 10 August 2018

The leaf Died


"ADE'S JOURNAL", 51

     The beauty of it all, tricked me into thinking it was real. That feeling of complete honesty that eludes me, those friends in hyena hides that hide behind my trust and thrust me into this bitter whirlpool I call regret. Ask me why I keep believing my so called friends care, I have no clue. But this lonely island I am anchored on, makes me long for companionship. Want a friendship that is symbiotic and healthy. Like this moth perched on a young pawpaw leaf, I am naive. It may look like a mutual relationship. But in reality, the plant is stuck and this parasitic wanderer has plans to fly as far and away as possible, once metamorphosis has occurred. And so, you ask why I don't shake my leaves and get rid of this beautiful moth? Or why something so beautiful should come to me and just destroy all my hard earned work and zeal to thrive and survive.
  No particular reason, just that feeling of need. The need to want to flourish and grow at the expense of me, the leaf. Every bite kills me but who cares, right? There are so many more healthy leaves, growing and thriving. I should not mind losing a leaf. Just a leaf you say, but what about others, those wicked life you birth beneath my leaves? The hatchlings deposited in the leaves, the new life that sucks life from me. The past biting and growing off the pain I endure, day in and day out.
Yes as expected, The Leaf Died. But my root is strong and I will spring forth new shoots and leaves and be fruitful. You just wait and see.....
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Wednesday, 8 August 2018

Six Layers Deep


"ADE'S JOURNAL", 50

      Beautiful is the way your lips spread a and then, silky words drift and dance from within you. Mesmerizing and in sync we are, just like this August waves move in and entice me. Shiny bright crystal beads precipitate on your dark smooth chocolaty skin, as your hands graze and touch it's lustrous surface. I lean in to get a better look and spot you smiling at the effect you have on me. The whispers my ears receive from you, make me giggle like a teenager again. I touch my hair and smoothen it all the way to the back and stop, afraid I have an audience because this dance is just for you. I catch you watching my lips and lean away, not too far but not too soon too.   Quickly I turn to all my friends and pray I'm not too obvious and when I am sure they are clueless, my gaze drifts back to you. I watch him about to eat the cake I baked and iced, and as perfect white teeth bite into my soft sponge with vanilla bean filling I smile and wait. He touched me and then I freeze and just as he is about to say the words, she spoils it....
  In my life, there are few moments I want to wringe someone's neck with my bare hands, well. This is one of them, I have been flirting all evening with Daniel Ojora and was looking forward to a kiss at least. I lie, maybe one guilty kiss in the balcony with a hidden corner... No guilt, nothing just me believing I got away with it and this my friend had to ruin it. She was the one that insisted we bond with Celine's half brother and even surprise him... Well, not really surprise him. But attend his birthday. I didn't mind baking, I missed it. But most of all, I was curious. Will he look like Celine? Was he going to be nice?
 Turns out that was the least of it all. As I cut angry eyes at Nnoye, who Daniel totally ignored. She dragged me aside and quickly apologized to Daniel without looking at him. It was actually Ajoke's idea to invite Daniel, just to distract him while she steals his toothbrush with his DNA so she can confirm if he is really Celine's brother. I washed my hands off that plan, but Daniel was game for some strange reason. Maybe Nnoye was in on it too, I really didn't know why Nnoye looks so worried.
  The words she said made no sense and I turn back to this new man in our lives as she reassured me it was true and spoke more words. How did this happen? Her answer was even weirder than I thought, she was classmates with him and they have been flirting and well... He was fit and attractive and now she is afraid. My eyes widened as she said the words and I place my throbbing head into my cold hand. Here we go again....

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Friday, 3 August 2018

Forty Nine Days Forty Nine Ways


"ADE'S JOURNAL", 49

 How many ways must I prove myself to you, just like the wrong side keeps sticking to glue. Layers of DNA stick on as I try to end all trace of me. Scraped off and recorded for all history to keep, maybe the cells will die and my fingerprints will fade. Not on this though, as I grumble and try to separate the plastic from me. Somehow it will melt or burn and I will be forgotten, long gone. Instead, it's encased in gum and buried in bronze, as I relax and rest and just listen to it all.
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Wednesday, 1 August 2018

Lost But Know You Will Protect Me


"ADE'S JOURNAL", 48

        Listen carefully as she speaks, brainwashed and clueless of the conspiracy to make her weak. I do not claim to be innocent, neither did I say I did not do wrong. From my cluster of friends, I am the last one standing and as this acquaintance talks and touches the man I hold dear. I can not help but be suspicious of her intentions. Little did I know that she was the only genuine one around me and as she touched me too on my forehand, I changed my mind and just assumed she was just one of those who talk a d touch people.
I have been at the edge of waters, spiralling endlessly into an abyss. But never did I imagine that my love would push me deep into the dark crystal core. The violence crept up my spine, a word at a time. It starts with harsh condemnation for my strong willed friends and a total ban on the divorced ones. Even though the violence meant they could have died, he insists that heaven would not accept her and made me swear I will never end up like them. Then he barred me from our bedroom and accused me of having an affair. I cried and begged, which became my life for the next four years. Pleading always, so that he can tell me what I did wrong and that was the beginning of the end. He was utterly disgusted any time he laid eyes on me and then he starts with my weight. The weight I maintained and even lost, since the time we first met. Ten kilograms lighter and to him, I'm now too skinny. No hip or butt for him to hold and somehow he thinks I'm a man. My reproductive organs beg to differ, i say daring his royal royal highness. Slaps and punches, shocked and shame silenced me. I was now one of those pathetic women that did not see the sign...
 Which signs, this psychopath did a 360 on me. When I accepted my daily dose of beating, he moves to my hair. I spend too much time on it and can't find any for him. Besides, I am too artificial for him to be seen in public with him. So he bans me from touching my hair with chemicals, a transition that chops off most of my hair.      The short hair cut was a warm welcome and natural hair maintenance in Nigeria was at a premium. I enjoyed every bit of it and start to teach and coach ladies in the transition. He laughs at how plain I look now and how no one could ever love me. This monster I had a child for, and for the final time I dared protest and found myself staring at the ceiling, with broken wood in my ribs. Somehow I was hit and slammed into the oak central dining table. This artifact passed to me from my great great grandfather mother. As I drove myself to the hospital, it gets more difficult to breathe and I just shut my eyes and accept that this is how I leave this cruel world. Then I wake up to kindness and hope and a rehabilitation of my body and mind. The doctor that finds me in the car and saves my life and help me out of the chronic depression I had failed to hide. I fell hard for him and did the impossible and because divorce would not let me enter heaven, I damned the consequences and did the unthinkable. The affair fed my soul and grew my world. My hair thrived in its natural state and I was complete, if only I could leave the beast at home. His blows did not affect me and his words had no meaning and then he asked for lunch. I was not interested but thought to myself, he is the father of my child. So I eat, it tastes funny and a thought crept up my mind, did he poison me? He made an excuse and told me he had to go and I immediately called the doctor. Luckily, he was already on his way. My eyes could not see clearly and I typed on my phone, starting to accuse him. My bladder gave up first and then my nerves, knives sliced at my skin and the last thing I heard was his laughter. I Am Lost But Know You Will Protect Me....
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