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About Me

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 My story may shock you, but then again your situation may be worse. Delve in and find out....
The best moments are the ones when, that affect people positively and inspire them to laugh and live. 
             But is this, the entire story?
 The Human experience is Unique and every person has something to give, you just need to see it from my perspective and I craft words, actions and events from this very human angle.

Ade's Journal Part 6

Ade's Journal Part 6
My Valentine & The Elegance Of A Clean Breakup

Ade's Journal Part 5

Ade's Journal Part 5
My Scrumptious Valentine Kiss

Ade's Journal Part 4

Ade's Journal Part 4
A Scorpion is not a Lobster

Ade's Journal Part 3

Ade's Journal Part 3
My Insane Week Before Valentine

Ade's Journal Part 2

Ade's Journal Part 2
He Had The Guts To Come Back

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Friday, 25 January 2019

Ask Me More Questions


"ADE'S JOURNAL", 83

  Ask Me More Questions now and dive deep into my mind, don't sugarcoat it or leave anything behind. Spray me with bright colours, I will wear to shield me from the elements claws. No need for suspense, splashed pink top wide brim beach hats and firm green flip flops as evidence. Just sweet talk me and swirl me like sweet wine, until I know for sure you are mine. I waited long for your aura and fabulous lush, swim along side you as we touch. The water is murky like my favourite clutch and as the crystals reflect, the waves climb high and it's too much. Maybe I should stop waiting for your maybes and stick to what is real like my perky twin babies. They've only being mine for almost two decades, and have gone through it all with me from my teenage years up until now. No sign they will ever be plucked like my teenage self feared, a sign that I've grown up somehow with a little luck. I miss the feeling I can do it all, maybe it's you and not me no not at all.
  It's raining and it's not the first time, the wind isn't blowing and it feels like the oxygen in the air is vanishing, later you will ask me why I don't like the rain. Before I grumble out loud, the cold wind blows and I let go of everything. I spread my arms wide expecting the wind to lift me up like a kite, as tiny crystals of raindrops hit and Pierce me as they drop. In an instant, the cells in my body cool and my skin absorbs all the oxygen and moisture just as it cools down.
   This is how the weather should be, especially standing here by the lagoon and the sea is just twenty minutes away. I miss the waters, the cool air and everything it represents, it's the only reason I am here with the ladies. I have not being beside a lagoon in years and the murkiness still surprises me. I want it to be clear, so I can see the bottom and almost touch it.
Instead, it is a cloudy silver colour with waves resembling an oil painting.
I was close enough, long enough and so, I stepped back. I remember well that crocodiles live in the water, not the deep end. The end with mangrove trees and calmer waters. The edge of the lagoon looks like a mermaid is watching you as you watch her, that almost silver-blackish water that my former  university colleagues loved to bathe in swim suits in. The type of water I watched on national geographic about people surviving crocodile attacks and Python snatches.
  A leaf lands hard on my right shoulder and I jolt back to the present and move my shoulders and arms in such a manner that it twists and turns and hurts real bad. I dislodge and dislocate it for a second and force it back into place in the second that follows and then, I freeze.
   In shock and in pain for too long by the lagoon shore, I think. So I step away, cradling my elbows as if it was in a sling and trying to mend the shoulders that just dislocated.
'Did you just dislocate your shoulder?', Ajoke asked.
It was cute watching her run to my side in a thigh- high butter yellow playsuit I made for her.
'Almost... I re-fixed it back into place', I tell her and lead her away from the shore.
'You still think a crocodile will push itself out from that, and...', Ajoke starts to grumble.
'It won't miss and will put you in a deadly death roll...', I was saying proud that I was informed.
'....I reject it in Jesus name', Nnoye announced as she snapped her fingers over her own head.
 Ajoke had stopped walking, she was in shock that I would even suggest such.
I use my body to nudge her and try to get her to relax and understand that I was joking.
'Dont even try', a furious Ajoke snapped at me.
'If I hug you, my ball and socket joint will drop from where I am holding it and....'
'Ade abeg, it's two thousand and nineteen, only say what you want to happen', holier than thou Nnoye tried to preach.
'Nnoye I have heard', I snapped at her.
  Sometimes it feels like I cant say anything without her preaching and I wanted her to know exactly how I feel.
'Sometimes I just want to talk, so let me'
'Okay oooo'
 'We have come here because we want a different experience, not the sea crashing into you. Or the view from a yacht. Just a walk by the lagoon, the periwinkles swimming close to the shore and the crabs retreating into freshly dug holes...'
The writer in me starts to describe how I was feeling, what I could see and taste, minus my pain of course.
Everything was different and quiet, new and unique. Exactly how I wanted to feel just as the month of January was coming to an end.
Nnoye searched for her dish old grilled fish and races to the car to get it.
'So', Ajoke huff's.
 I roll my eyes at her and sip some ice swirling in chapman.
'Daniel has been trying to get you...'
'Why?'
'You two were close and...'
'I want different'
'Different how?'
'He will always be my friend, I want to go on dates with people I don't know..'
 Nnoye joins us and Ajoke rolled her eyes at me and slurped up an ice cube and crushed it hard and loud.
I cringed and give her a stern look and Nnoye laughs and the dish with perfectly grilled fish almost drops from her hand.
We all save it and laugh as we do, and then I feel the pain in my shoulders. It makes me stop and massage it and smile.
'Only because I am curious', I tried to make her see.
'Because it is a new year, I will let you dive into the ocean. If you catch what you want, fine. If not, let me get you referrals before your crazy deadline of solo parenting'
'I can't wait to see how this goes by your birthday', Nnoye adds.
'Why my birthday?'
'I want to see you as a mother...', Nnoye smiled.
'...With a partner', Ajoke adds.
'Happy', I add and raise my glass.

 As I think of all the great things that have started happening in my life, I pick a fork and start to devour the grilled fish and find steaming crabs beside it and go for that instead. The best for me from now on and I lay back into the beach chairs we came with.


**"ADE'S JOURNAL", Season 3, Episode 83**
*"ADE'S JOURNAL", 83, COPYRIGHT 2019*

**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE, COPYRIGHT 2019**
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