Trice, My Dear is not as Nice

'ADE'S JOURNAL' 8

      An eagle soars higher than most creatures dare to explore. A solitary bird that floats and glides free, undisturbed and undefeated. I watch this flying marvel in all its grace and smile. As it hits the ceiling it morphs into several floating baloons, bouncing haphazardly against the ceiling, filled with rogue fireworks, poking, waiting for the baloons to pop and then explode.

       I hear it first as a loud bang and cringe, then it lingered. Echoes of a rhythmic sound that regurgitates and form black splatters all around the white ceiling in my bedroom.      Wobbly and pumped to full capacity, I was scared that my head was going to burst and try to figure out what the heck is going on.
I Jolt out of my bed and then it all makes sense, it is all a dream. As I relax, I am stunned by the sound I hear. This was not a dream, so I scuttle to the edge of my room with my chiffon flowing night gown flying behind me.
 I can't see anything, there is no light.
NEPA has struck again and the entire street is pitch black and without electricity. I want to scream but living alone and unsure of what was going on, I cover my mouth and peer out of my window. Could it be armed robbers? I didn't hear any gun shots and then my mind went to the unthinkable.

Did Lara send hired assasins to kill me?

    l don die oo, who sent me o? Why didn't I just walk away from this cursed married man called Frank? Eh? Stop communicating with him, be much more firm with him. Now her spies have informed her and I am in hot pepper soup.
 I panick and start to pace around the room as I search for my phone. I slap my sides out of frustration because I can't find any of them. Where is my stupid phone? I remembered that I got a phone call from one of those automated messages that woke me at two this morning. Lord have mercy, I was so pissed, I got up and dumped it in my living room.
 Now I have to go in there and get it. There is only one thing I can do, I start the lords prayer and because i didnt know the end, i improvised and added the last lines of Psalm 23. It is true what they say, in the end, you pray.

The silence was alarming and then I heard a sharp sound like a gun and screamed. Then covered my mouth, I listened again and wanted to flog myself silly. As I realize, it was my generator that sounded like a gun shot. I wait till I was very sure and then hiss, really I was becoming paranoid. I fiddle around till my hands find my phones and then, used the phones torch to navigate around my living room until i find my house keys.
  Cautiously, I step outside and turn off my generator that was no longer supplying electricity to my house. The stupid machine  was just wasting fuel, I hurry into my house and try and fail to sleep. This was a sign, I might be day dreaming about getting back with Frank but the consequences of that decision could cost me everything, my sanity, my job and peace of mind. Silence made me think long and hard about my life,  and know I am in trouble. I shake all the negative thoughts away and declare boldly.

I refuse to be superstitious.

I get out my office files and start to review my work and prepare my presentation for the board of directors. There are rumors that the company I work for is downsizing. I cannot afford to be sacked, especially now that I have no savings. I spent most of it and can't wait for Friday when my salary enters my account. A long cold shower and the smartest looking suit made me ready for today's work.

I drive out of my gate and park my car and walk back into my house. As I step out of my house and lock the gate, I turn around and Frank is there. I roll my eyes and exhale, here we go again.
'Please wait, don't be angry...'
'Do I have to get a new house because of you....', there was no energy to fight.
'No, I just wanted us to talk...'
'Why?'
'You won't talk to me at your work, won't pick my calls....'
'So you stalk me and come to my house, how long have you been outside my house waiting...... .'
'Don't be ridiculous, I just got here. I wanted us to make you understand that I was trapped...'
'I'll be late...'
He held me back and I shook my head, a bit of my emotions betrayed me. And this time, i didnt fight him. I looked into those dark brown piercing eyes of his and just watched my bestfriend of two years watch me. I missed talking to him, I should not have built my world around him. Now I was sad beyond words.  We were inches apart and then my Frank leaned on me. It was when I felt his hand on my waist that I had to snap out of it.
No, no, no. He does not get to just samba his way back into my broken heart.
'You are only here because she kicked you out', I increased the gap between us and folded my hands across my chest.
'Because I didn't want to live a lie, she wanted this fake showy Valentine lunch on a boat cruise with her friends. But I could not do it, so I told her I wanted a divorce...'
'On Valentine's day?'.
This Frank shaa, he was cruel on all levels.
'Ade, my Ade, you know Valentine is just a showy monetized day...'
'Yep, that's why, all we did on that day was go to the movies...'.
Exactly, ye ye man. Now i remember, Frank was a cheap skate. And the movies self was only on a weekday when it is as cheaper.
'Oh, oh, oh, so now you are with baba seventy, every memory we had has been reduced to tiny kobo coins...'.

Did he just refer to my man as 'baba seventy?'
 Mr. H is not more than twelve years older. So what's his stress?
'You this devil reincarnate, what is your problem? Because you are bored, you now know where I live right. Why didn't you fight for us when it was important? Why now? See, I will give the security in this estate your picture and tell them to ban you from coming here...'

Orisirisi, who has time for this rubbish?

Frank laughed, 'baby, don't make me laugh. This is our time, what we both want. I am divorced....'
'Na so..', I said not believing a word he had to say.
'I will prove my love is true, just you wait...'

I laughed and marched to my car.
The arrogant bastard was overconfident, I could not stick it when he was like that. He rubbed his hand over a beard that was not there and I shook my head.
'Childish little pauper', I laughed. He is the one that put that thought in my head.
Please, thankfully I started the day with prayer. So, no past memory or corruptible sin was clouding my judgement. I took deep breaths and refused to look back at my past as I drove to work.

Office work was da bomb, the board of directors were impressed and I was recommended for a promotion. I got excited and almost screamed.
'Lets not get ahead of ourselves...'
'What..', it was a combination of shock and a faint whisper. What was my boss doing?
'We have to let thirty people go today, and even if none of them are from our branch,
the downsizing and falling Naira would not allow us to act now. Let's reevaluate performances at the end of the year'. He was serious and after a short pause the board agreed.

He just blocked my opportunity for a promotion and I was stunned. To help you understand, that would have been one hundred thousand naira extra, every month.
Why am I surprised?
 Because, I thought all my blood and sweat means something. I realize in the moment it didn't. Yes, I know. It's easy to say Frank leaving his wife influenced my bosses decision but I have to stop blaming him for everything.

At the close of work, office gossip was filled with my colleagues asking if the boss was toasting me, or likes me. They dug in and tried to get to the reason why my boss would not give me the promotion I deserved.
'Maybe it was time to think outside the box...'
'Do not do it o, there are no jobs out there...'
'People are getting jobs'
'People entice you with false promises then blame you for leaving your job... '
It was good advise but I had to start preparing for anything and everything. The economy and emotional destabilizing factors was crashing my world.

Khadijatu texted me, she has no credit. That I should pick her up at Bony Camp bus stop.
I am too tired to argue or say anything else.

Khadijatu is frowning and I know that look. She slammed my car door and my headache spiraled out of control.
'Abeg no spoil my car jare...'
'Ade no vex, but men are beasts....'

Here we go again, Khadijatu's breakups were always loud and aggressive, mine were tearful and filled with hugs.
 But the girl no serious, this relationship is not up to a week old.
'Bala won't pick my calls...', she grumbled and called him.
'Is it ringing?', I needed all the details first.
'Yes, and I have been trying all day...'
'How many times have you called?'
Khadijatu searched for my phone and I tucked it away underneath me. She ransacked my hand bag and brought out my simple phone and tried to call Bala.
'I don't have credit..', I said and snatched my bag from her hands
'Where is it? Just let me check if he will pick another number..'
'You are stalking him..'
'I am not...  Where is your smart phone?'
I fixed my eyes on the road.
'Bala gave me money and we have been phone sexing all week...'
'When a rich guy drops money, its a drop in the ocean, he doesn't feel it...'
'You were not with us, Bala said I am special that we will marry...'
'Frank said the same..'
'Every man, is not Frank'

There was a lingering silence.

She eyed me and I eyed her back, so I'm the unlucky one with guys and she isn't, nonsense and ingredients.
'For your information, I went to Ikoyi and Frank did not file any divorce'
'Where and when did you go?'
'It doesn't matter, Frank is a player...'
'Like Bala right?', she was redialing her phone and I shook my head.
'I can afford one scoop of ice cream for us...'
'And I spent all the money already...', she added.
'On what?'
'Clothes, shoes, bags...'
'Where do you shop?', my friend was cheap but her clothes didn't look it.
'I have customers, they bring in containers of foreign clothes and I get a great bargain from them...'
'Nice...'
'Also, money went on you...'
I raised my hand and protested, 'How?'
This my friend is a first class trouble maker.
'Have you forgotten? Confirming if Frank filed for divorce or not'.

It just clicked, I had forgotten, but she offered and said I should not bother with the expenses. I hissed and grabbed the steering wheel and looked at her.
'No be bus you enter? Patapata, you won't spend more than one thousand naira'
'Seriously, Ade, where is your phone?'
'Ten times, twelve...'
'Twenty three times on each phone...'
'Ha! Khadi-ja-tu, that's too much...'
'Why? At least he can't deny that I did not call...'
'That is desperate..'
'Like cross checking if you ex filed for a divorce or not?'

She was right, I had sunk so low as to believing anything Frank had to say. I did not tell my friend that Frank was at my place this morning or that I had a nightmare before he showed up. I just didn't need to talk about my ex at this very moment.

 The ride to the ice cream joint was quiet and then my phone jolted me up and almost out of my seat. It was the seat belt that held me in place. I grabbed it and plugged in my ear piece. Khadijatu frowned and folded both hands across her chest.
Na wa o, after all, it is still my phone and I chose not to let my friend stalk Mr. H's friend with my phone. Na she know o. I totally ignored her.

'Hey, Sweetheart...', it was Mr. H.
'Did you tell him that you still want Frank...'
I covered the mouthpiece and gave her a side eye, Khadijatu got the message.

'Sweety, too much has happened since last night, in fact...'.
Mr. H stopped me and asked how I was doing. I laughed and said good. He knew something was up, I wonder how. We talked and he apologized for a new development that would not allow him take me out today. I didn't mind and we laughed and as I said goodbye to Mr. H. He asked after Khadijatu and I mumbled. He laughed because he knew what it meant, he knew the girl was seriously getting on my nerves. Enough about Judas, I was missing my boo. I eyed my annoying friend and said aloud, '... with all the boring childish people all around me'.
 I want to relax on Mr. H's sexy hairy chest and just listen to my mature mate. But I was not in denial. This relationship, is the price I pay for my sanity, he would not always be free like our jobless Frank. But he was the best genuine thing that happened to me in a long time. As we said our goodbyes my jaw ached from laughter. This love na real gobe.

I removed the earpiece and faced my annoying friend.
'Khadijatu, wetin be all this rubbish? So, one wahala with Bala and then you want to ruin mine...'
'No vex'.
She did not sound sorry. I was mad as hell and just parked the car, Khadijatu ordered and I did not feel like taking any ice cream. I watched her and got seriously irritated, I knew in my heart I had out grown my friend but she had some harsh truths on the tip of her tongue. When she finished, she looked at me and looked away.

'I should have told you...'
'What, that Frank really filed for a divorce. I know because today, I should have been promoted but my boss stopped it. And there's only one reason he would...'.
She did not care about my well being instead she continued to yap about her life.
'I didn't want to encourage you, I wanted us best friends for life. But Bala lost interest...'
'He might have regained it if you had a little more finese', payback for not listening. I smiled feeling a little accomplished.
'I didn't call him like a hundred times'
I got up and realized for the first time what was going on.
'You don't love him....', she protested.
'But I do, I just need to be sure Mr. H feels the same genuinely', I defended myself.
She looked down at the empty ice cream cup.
'Then act like you do and face him....'
'Do you want Mr. H too?', I was confused.
'No, he's too old.. I'm saying let Frank go. I've obviously lost Bala and that world is too squeaky clean and pristine for me, abeg'

My eyes danced around the table and I looked at her with the realization that she was still in love with Frank.

'We keep saying we know men will cheat but we get angry when they do. I am the best deal for Frank, I can be myself with him and he with me...'
'What makes you think he wants you...'
'See, you are doing it again. It should not matter, you have Mr. H'
'Don't settle...'
'I am not as naive as you think, Frank loves my body and soul'
I laughed and clapped my hand, that's her way of confessing that they had been lovers.

A strong realization on my part that Trice, My Dear Is Not As Nice. When your friend betrays you twice you cannot believe it, but one more time and you pity her.
'...Sex means nothing to him. I hope you know...', I wanted the reality to sink in but she didn't care. So I added.
'You know what, he is yours. You can keep him ..'
I had, had enough and just needed to be far away from her. I grabbed my car keys and walked out. I was not mad, just numb.
She had shown every indication that she was her only priority. The selfish little minx.

As I approached my car, I watched two women scrutinize my car plate number and freeze. The woman looked familiar. I was not sure because she looked nice and had on, nice expensive braids that shaved five years off her face. But when I heard her speak, I knew...

'Its her car, it has plate number XL and her car is a Toyota corolla 2009 model...'
That was a lot of information but it was proof that....

Lara has found me.