Scorching Icebergs Burn Me With Lying Lips

"ADE'S JOURNAL" 27

       Scorching Icebergs Burn Me With Lying Lips, as I know this one act has crushed my sweet loving dreams. How I've lied to my naive old self, like a dusty princess in a braided shelf. LASTMA officials dance as I walk and sway, to a tune so familiar it brings disdain. A placid man, blocks my way, as a plastic cycling iced yoghurt peddler rides away.


           It's me again ooo and all my drama. I swear, if I was my own friend I would have flogged me Tay Tay. This is ridiculous on all levels, but no wahala. Na my very own learning curve, shaa. Just listen to fear take a complete hold on me. My heart is racing and I have to place my hand over my intense beating heart to stop it from escaping it's ribcage.
     
       For the first time since I moved here, I am afraid. I don't know which of the people I have upset, directly or indirectly could be outside my window. Frank, Khadijatu, Tina, Mathias or anybody they send here. I am literarily shaking, and reciting Psalm 23. If only in reality, i was unafraid. I feel as if, i am not alone and the hand on my shoulders make me scream. And shield my face with defenceless arms.
   Mr. H is in complete shock, and watching me as if I have lost my mind. It took me a second to realize, that i was on friendly ground. It was a complete relief to see his face and I hug him tight.
'My goodness Ade, you are shaking'
'Someone is outside', I whisper.
He cups his large hands on my delicate face, as I watch his piercing dark mesmerizing eyes. His smile made me start to relax as I wait for words to calm my troubles.
'It's that overgrown cat from next door...'
No way did a tiny little creature, disrupt my peace like that. But then again, what was normal about a creature with nine lives.
'I don't like cats...'
'Who did you think it was?'
'Frank, Tina... I don't know...'
I try to escape his warm embrace and Mr. H pulls me closer to him.
'Sssshhh, calm down'
'I can't, I just can't...'
'Come....'
He leads me to the living room and sits me, on his lap.
'Shut your eyes, Ade...'
I give him the side eye and he rocks me.
'We are both under pressure from everyone we care and dont care about...'
I laugh, and throw my hands in the air.
'As if you know ooo'
'You can carry the weight of the world around with you, but sooner or later... Your legs will buckle and you will break'
'Mr. Harrison.... This is not helping ooo'
'You know what I mean...'
My dear Mr. H was watching me and checking to see if I was alright. I could not help but smile at my beautiful brown angel.
'You are the best and distracting me...'
'Good, so it's settled then'
Mr. H lifts and drops me on the couch and then stands up.
'What's settled?'
'You're sleeping in my room tonight'
'Nice', I stand up and hear a strange purring sound from outside and jump on Mr. H.
'Why are you afraid of a cat you can't see?'
'Because they creep and crawl around unafraid, as if they own the place'
'How?'
'Its not funny ooo, one jumped on me...'
'What perfume did you have on?'
I hit him lightly on his back and yawn hard and loud as I speak.
'Not funny at all'
'We better catch up on some sleep, if we want to stay sharp tomorrow'
    I let him take my hand and we walk into the bedroom. As I sit on the edge of the bed, watching my man. He casually, walks into the bathroom and I collapse on the bed and stretch. My hands feel light as a feather and then something starts to dig into my back. Mr. H's phone is vibrating. I pick it up and look at the name on the phone.

 It's Baratu.

   I don't know anyone by that name and the message makes me sit up.
"Let's stop all these flirting, tomorrow we will see, eye to eye and finish what we started"

    Abasi, what? Aremy eyes deceiving me? Na wa ooo, which kind life be this, eh?
So, I know what you are thinking. This is just phone flirting, harmless. But I can't help but think...
    For some strange reason, I hide the phone under his pillow and pretend to be asleep.
Mr. H resurfaces and mumbled words, I could not hear, because I need to stay in character. I need to escape the possibility of been caught. I know I didn't do anything. Well, I know his password and did not unlock the phone. But I'm worried and stressed. And I know, I will misyarn if I am awake and we talk.
  An hour later, I sneak into the kitchen and search the kitchen, ntil I find it. I swallow some allergy tablets, no I don't have any allergies. Just, they make me sleep quickly. Am I, some kind of closet drug addict? Maybe, but it works. I walk back into the room and Mr. H's phone lights up. It's either he just checked it or our dear Baratu sent another desperate text or chat. Thankfully, the drugs kick in and I doze off.

    'Ade, Ade...', I shield my eyes and stare at him.
'I know you did not touch alcohol, so why are you acting drugged?'
'I took some medicine for my allergies'
'You had a reaction last night?'
'Kind of...', I lied.
'We can't meet for lunch today, but I'm sure you and Celine have a lot to do'
He seems chirpy, happy and plants a quick kiss on my cold face and leaves. Without wearing any gloves, I scrub the jacuzzi, don't ask me why oo. Just let me make the smell of bleach engulf this entire bathroom. I have a hot long bath, pouring all kinds of relaxing aroma into it.
   Dressed to kill, I pace around the living room waiting. Celine walks in with a cereal bowl and gives me a blank look.
'Is there a meeting today? Wow you look good. You these Naija babes shaaa, is there a party?'
'I wish'
'What did I miss?'
My phone rings and I grab it, it's Ajoke.
'Hi'
'Who is it?', Celine looked worried.
'It's Ajoke, she's here'
I walk to the door and Ajoke screams when she see's me.
'Yeayyy, my friend looks like a diva'
Ajoke was clapping and she hugged me.
'Abi oooo', Celine adds.
'So, where are the clothes?'
'Did you drive?'
'No, Bala got me a driver'
'Why?'
'She was here at two, in the morning', I update Celine.
'Why?'
'I could not sleep'
'You need deliverance'
'You too, abeg let's go to Celine's office. The mirrors have a 3d effect...'
''Ade, you didn't say anything'
'Oh, I emmm...'
'Something happened last night'
'Nothing...'
'You and Mr. H did it?' Ajoke was happy she now had a partner in sin.
'Nope'
'...You had a vision?' Celine was still in the spiritual mode.
'Nope'
'Then what?', Celine was impatient and I do not blame her but I was worried.
'I saw a WhatsApp chat...'
'Don't 'Ade, you are better than that', Celine was disappointed.
''Abeg ooo, spy, snoop ooo. It's human nature'
Ajoke still had the bottle of groundnuts with her, now half way gone.
'I was not spying, I heard the phone viberate and the name Baratu....'
  Ajoke chokes on the groundnuts and we race to the kitchen and pour her some water.
'I'm fine... Say the name again... Saratu?'
'No, Baratu'
Ajoke gives Celine a look and they both look away. Don't you just hate, when friends that have known each other longer just give themselves a coded look? I do and I was not happy.
'You know her?'
'The only sane girlfriend, Mr. H has ever known'
'Couple of the year... Back then in school'

  I refuse to be intimidated by an old flame.
'So what? They did not end up together'
'Her father had paid for her master's and PhD in America. The break up was intense...'
'Whose side are you two on?'
I was totally upset and I walked away from my two annoying friends.
'Wait'
'You are right, it's in the past'
'What did she say, in the chat?'
'She enjoyed their flirting and they will meet today...'
'Did he mention it?'
'He lied or half lied, he said he has a business lunch'
'Her family is very rich, as in 1800's rich, old money. So business with her makes sense'
'Stop...'
I grab my bag and have to leave this place.
'At least you have a taste of what it's like to have Frank around'
'Ajoke, abeg. I don't have time for this rubbish'
'So what's the plan, you give Mr. H the silent treatment?'. Celine was right to ask.
'No, I will tell him that... I will say.'
'Say what?', Celine snapped at me.
'Don't shout  at me ooo'
The room was quiet for a while, and we all grab our bags. This was not going to be a fun work day, at all at all.
'So, what now?' Ajoke asks.
'You do what you have to', Celine adds.
'Exactly', I announce.
'Bala had two epic relationships and still ours is epic'
'So, true love does not exist', I grumble.
'It does, for some it's one. Others it's more, just be true to you....'
Celine was right, I can give up or fight. I can become bitchy or handle this with a little more emotional intelligence.
However this plays, it is going to be epic.

    Us girls make up and then sit and discuss business and strategies to make this the talk of town and a financial success. The public relations media disbursement must deliver on its promise and get everyone fighting to get an invite.
    A thought crossed my mind, a line from Beyonce's Lemonade made me smile. Something about 'side chicks', disappearing. And alleged publicity stunts by Tiwa Savage, all around this, so called sacred marriage union. Ajoke laughed at the idea and Celine says she loves it. A PR stunt to boost and hype this event and take it to another level. We were laughing so much and decide it would work. But, no verbal or written record of it, would surface beyond this moment, beyond now. We plotted the scenes and scenarios. And when we were done, we invite Ajoke's remaining bridal train' to the dress fitting scession.
    At lunch time of course, I want Mr. H to call me and catch me in a grand mood. Na die this Baratu dey.

    By the time we were done, it was seven and there was only one place to go. Ice cream joint of all joints. We didn't want to tempt Ajoke into taking a sip of any alcohol. She had threatened to, and no be me go encourage that kind thing. I have read about fetal alcohol syndrome, an addiction babies get because of alcohol consumption by their mother's. That fear makes me stop drinking, when I am active or at least I try.
Am I a closet alcoholic?
I dont like these questions, I am asking myself lately ooo.
 I jump back into the conversation. Celine and I were laughing aloud, at Ajoke and threatened to fine her five hundred Naira for every time she touched the bottle of groundnuts. It worked because the babe paid up front. Our ice cream money was complete and she ordered all the flavors with nuts.
'Are you still eating food?'
I had to ask because her cravings were becoming scary.
'No, just groundnuts and supplements'
'Haaa, how will the baby grow?'
'I will eat tomorrow, I just don't want to throw up today. The smell is disgusting'
We didn't say anything, she was in good hands with Bala. I trust him. If he has to get her medical and psychological help or put her on drip, he will.
'You know you have lost weight', I tell her.
'Thank you', Ajoke bowed.
'Mumu, na yab. It's not a complement'
Celine mocked her.
'I will still baloon up, so leaf me jare'
'You have to eat healthy ooo'
'Tomorrow ahh, what's your problem?'
Ajoke snapped at Celine and poured a handful of groundnuts on her ice cream.
'How's Asabi?'
'Didn't you see her today at dress fitting?'
Ajoke was been sarcastic and did not try to hide it.
'She is your sister'
'Na you know oo, or you will let her squat with you till I marry'
'Emi ko', I snapped my fingers over my head. I have enough drama in my life.
'What's the matter, don't you trust Mr. H?'
'You too, don't you trust Bala?'
'Leaf story, I trust what my secret cameras and recordings. They always tell me the truth'
'Ajoke', Celine and I call out our naughty friends name.
'Na man oooo'
'God forgive you'
'And you too'
    I look at my phone and Mr. H has not called me. What do I do o?
'Calm down', Celine squeezed my hand with ice cream cold hand.

    Today, of all days not even one message from Mr. H. Damn that stupid cat, I would never have known about this side chick. Now my mind has gone to horrible places and imagined the worst. I check my phone and then send him a message. No response.
Na wa ooo. It's different with Mr. H, everything is different. I feel like I am always a step behind. No wonder Ajoke spies on Bala, but she has ex wives to worry about. And I keep on finding out about Mr. H from other people. He is so secretive and I am beginning to resent it. I thought I was bad, but he is good at hiding his feelings. I feel so alone right now and shove a large scoup into my mouth. Today, could not get any worse than this.

     I hear him laughing and my heart skips. I choose to ignore him, choose to not care. None of my friends know him, maybe Celine from a distance. Or, is my mind playing tricks on me?
  Slowly I look up, towards the corner at the couple. I watch these my two former friends, Frank and Khadijatu. He feeds her ice cream and she giggled and swallowed. His hand was on her perfectly round stomach and hers on his. I became sad as I watched them and oblivious to the fact that, Ajoke and Celine were watching me.

    Frank looks at me and swallows his ice cream. He did not blink and i did not look away. Khadijatu was backing me, so did not know what was happening.
'No way, is that?', Ajoke announced.
Celine kicked her under the table.
Khadijatu starts to turn and I lift my ice cream cone with its peak sipping molten ice cream.

 No, not here, not now, not like this... Not today of all days...




**Season 1, Episode 27**