Big Trouble In My Little World

    Seriously, it looks like there is no hope. Sad. I'm that tiny beat up teddy bear, given with a heart full of love and neglected because the love was unreal. Or is it because the love was hundred percent real. The fact is that the teddy bear is without its battery and I realize that there is Big Trouble In My Little World.
    I cannot believe this is happening right now. Mr. H trying to hide the fact that he and Baratu had lunch together? And why? Why else? I am so mad at him right now...
 I swear, him fall my hand big time.
Mr. H ignores me and continues to unpack his briefcase.
      Celine steps out of the kitchen with one litre of the fizzy drink I had been targeting all day. The one I would drink and eat cookies with, while I brood over the fact that my boo was happy with another woman. Celine deflects and pretends not to see me or Mr. H. She dodges and practically runs to her room. I'm too angry to care.

   I watch Mr. H and I am mad as hell and just bite on my lips to stop me from talking. I fold my hands across my chest and rock myself.
''Ade, what is wrong with you?'
'Why didn't you tell me about Baratu?'
'She's an old friend...', he said casually and I scream at him.
' Your first love....'
'Second', and he laughs.
'What's funny?'
'My first was planning my wedding and had this blueprint... A boy, a girl, a UN job for me and a Chevron job for her'
Mr. H laughed again.
'I ran as fast as I could...'
'... You told me about every relationship but Baratu...'
'Because I was ashamed, she left and I could not afford to catch her.'
Mr. H freezes and looks up as if he was remembering something.
'Come to think of it, she is the reason I swore i'd become rich'
Mr. H collapsed into his couch and flips open a file.
'So, I'm just paranoid right? Seeing things that are not there'
'Come here...'
'I saw you two together', I screamed at him and then paced around the room.
'You followed me?'
'How? I was with my girls and invited to karaoke... At Ikeja and I saw you two together....'
  His arrogance disappeared and he was by my side, I shove his annoying hands away. Men shaa, see how he lied and pretended I was the insane one in the room. My heart is heavy and my head wanes and then it hits me and then I had to ask.
'Is she why you won't marry me?'
    Tears race to my eyes and I feel bad, I feel all alone. I feel like that woman in Abuja all over again. In shock, embarrassed and I ask myself why I didn't see this.
'You made me feel guilty about Frank, while you harboured your own unresolved issues with Baratu'.
    Mr. H hugs me and I feel nothing, nothing but rage. I feel betrayed all over again.
'I'm sorry Ade, I just wanted to not be jealous all the time'
'So you bring your own stalker to our own relationship?'
    Mr. H shuts his eyes and I knew I was right, we both have unresolved issues.
'She does not want me'
'Eh eh o, don't do that. Let's not be in denial, she is unmarried and now you are the bachelor fit for her family's high standards'
'True'
     I slap his back, that was not the answer I was expecting. I turn around and start to walk away and he stops me.
'Wait, wait, wait...'
I roll my eyes at him, seriously which part of my stern face makes him think I am smiling. My body viberates and I feel the tears well up my face. No, i wont be that emotionally unintelligent babe that can't hold her own. I must take control of all my involuntary senses. So, I deflect and let my mind drift, there is a way out of all this. If i am wasting my time here, then  i need to go on a lunch date too.
''Ade, Baratu is just an old friend'
'If you say so...'
'Don't do that, don't let one date with Baratu ruin us... After all, you have had plenty dates with Frank'
I yank away from Mr. H and stare at his face in disbelief.
'Wetin you just... So, I have sat down, exchanged jokes and planned a date? And then gone out and laughed with Frank?'
   Maybe we had our information screwed up, mixed messages or something. God knows, I would never willingly sit with someone who betrays me like that.
'Who are you?'
    I walk away in disgust, how dare he spin this to favor him? How immature of him.
'Okay, maybe not a date but you keep going where he will be'
'I was there first, should I stop going to all my favorite places? Because he is stalking me?'
Mr. H inhaled and says, 'no'.
'So our relationship is a tit-for-tat thing?'
''Ade, I am sorry'
'Are you?'
'What's that supposed mean?'
'I can see it, feel it... You still love her...'
'I love you...'
'And I love you too, but you probably made it so that you will see her again'
 Mr. H says nothing and you know what they say, silence means consent.
     I laugh and feel my legs buckling, I need to seat down. And as I do, he stands in front of me and kneels down. I touch his face and shake my head, this relationship is getting more and more complicated.
'So what do you want? Do you still want me or are you thinking about what could have been?'
It is a two pronged question, I know how he feels but reality far out weighs any fantasy.
'I want you, I chose you'
'Time will tell, if we will survive this earthquake or not'
I stand up and give him a peck.
'Night, night Mr. H'
'Can I sleep with you tonight?'
It was an odd question but I understood it, the wedge between us had grown. And this night, sleeping alone would give me time to envision my next step.

Maybe it was time to move out.

     Interestingly, his offer would stall my plans and I would have to talk to him, reason with him. I wanted to say, no. But I knew it was a bad idea to say, no. He grabs his phones and we go to my room, I shower quietly, no song to sing.

No love to give, just silence.

      I walk out in my night wear, yes I went into the bathroom with change over clothes. No hanky panky tonight. I join him on my bed and kiss him, he turns a peck to a wet slurry kiss. And I stop it with a peck and say goodnight. Our first time is not going to be because of his ex Baratu. My eyes start to close, yep I took me some sleeping tablets. It calms me down and I drift into the claws of sleep.

   Soft enchanting songs from a bright red breasted Robin wakes me and I stare at the bird by my window seal. A warm embrace makes me smile and I am happy he is here with me. Somehow, all is Forgiven but never ever forgotten.
'Morning my sweet Angel Ade'
'Morning, my Scrumptious Mr. H'
We both smile and laugh, it was a good sign.
'Did we over sleep?'
'No, it's just five thirty'
'Are you serious? '
'I'm sorry I did not tell you about Baratu...'
'Good'
'So, how much money is she bringing to your company?'
'Two hundred..'
'Million? Kai these rich people know how to dangle temptations in someone's face'
'If you like, I can break off...'
'Break wetin? How much will enter our account?'
'After tax, about thirty'
    Lord have mercy, even if I was crazy, I'm not that crazy. That is a lot of money, in this economy.
'Can I trust you?'
    I had to know that this deal won't come back and bite me in the back
'Completely, I'm in this for the long haul. I'm your man and you are mine'
The words ring in my ears all morning, as I make breakfast. The omelettes and yam was perfect, just as he liked it. And we kissed and said our goodbyes.

     Celine surfaces after his car drives off.
'You are awake'
'I didn't want to go blind with your PDA...'
'But you know we have chosen to abstain before...'
'Good luck because I doubt you will make it...'
'Why?'
'Set a date, so you have one to look forward to, at this rate... I will be married before you two'
'You have discussed marriage?'
Her revelation made me weak and sad, was the entire world going to get married before me?
'We have shopped'
'Its a lie'
'Discuss it before people use it to drive wedge between you two'
All she said made sense and I was quiet for a while. Thinking about my life.
   Celine picks up my fork and eats out of my remaining yam and omelettes.
'Yours is in the kitchen', I announce and watch her sing her way into the kitchen.
    We both leave for work and mine was filled with blueprints to a follow up on the billboard campaign. This one had to top everything I ever imagined.

  The day raced quickly and now, it's been twelve hours since I've been up. Mr. H didn't call, a new habit he just developed.
      Before I could start to wallow in my sad and Shocking life. Chief Ojora called and I watch my phone ring. Should I or should I not pick it up?
'Good afternoon Sir, how's the family?'
'Blessed and Fruitful, we are just talking about you. About your billboard and what to expect. I have a job for you'
My eyes light up and I stand up.
'Thank you chief, when can we....'
'If you are free for dinner... Say six?'
     I looked at the time, it's just ten minutes to six. How on earth does he expect me to make it?
'My driver is almost at your office, there's this new Morrocan restaurant. You will love their kebabs...'
I hear the car drove into my compound and nod my head.
'I will be there soon'
    I grab my presentation materials and CDs and then race to the bathroom. I freshen up, use wipes to clean and put some mentol back into my skin and reapply fresh and light make up. I was ready.

   Chief was as regal as ever, his dark skin was plump and ripe and his Rolex watch majestic. I loved his always white fabric, that seemed to shine and his Royal beads were well maintained, polished. His fila stood on his head, a navy blue aso Oke fabric and I courtesied and shook his hand. My hand shake was firm and in control and he like that.
'You look beautiful, all these young boys will think you are in your twenties'
I blushed.
'Thank you Chief'
'You know Pearl Clams?'
'A real hotel management firm, yes'
'He is here and wants to work with you...'
I am speechless, he is talking about his nephew's company'
Chief points at the entrance and I realize that he had set us up on a date.
     CI turn to look at him and I feel every strand of hair loose and touching my face. I put it back in place and watch this tall hunk walk towards me. He is fiiiinnnne, hotter than Frank and Mr. H combined. He smiles and his white teeth perfect and beautiful adds spice to his handsome face.
He walks up to me and takes my hand.
'Good evening 'Ade, it is an honor to finally meet you'
Chief stands up and excuses himself.
'I will not be able to stay, but 'Ade... Give me a call tomorrow, my wife and I are going for my granddaughter's Birthday'
Chief turns to him, 'Daniel, later'
     I say goodbye and turn to my date. He pecks my hand and sniffs it and then smiles.
'A touch of mentol and Elizabeth Arden's white diamond. Sexy...'
'How did you...'
'I worked in a perfume store when I was on school break. And I loved it...'
'You had a part time job?'
'From my teenage days, the earlier a child starts to take responsibility the better'
'Nice, why a perfume shop?'
'I did work at clothing arelationship pharmacy, but the perfume store was personal. I had to learn to read people, to know what they want'
'And so you are an expert now?'
'Nope, I am still learning, but if I was to try. I'd say, you like your own thing and don't mind standing out. But you also like what others like and you are not afraid to show it'
'Not bad'
'Now try...', he touches his chest.
'I don't....'
'Try'
'I think you are over confident and you are used to having your way...'
'Business or relationship wise?'
'Both', I say and fold my hands across my chest.
'You are half right, business wise I thrive. But as for relationships... I have practically given up'
'Why?'
'Lies, deceptions... Women have received me'
    I grab my drink and take a sip, is this guy for real?
'I find that hard to believe'
'Because I am a man or because I am rich?'
'Both'
'You don't mean that'
'I think you have enough experience to tell if they are sincere or not'
'There was no way to tell, now the last guy that broke your heart... Was he your first?'
'Third'
'How come you didn't catch his lies?'
'He was a very good liar'
'They are everywhere. Are you a good liar'
'Nope
'Do you have a boyfriend?'
'I'm living with him...'
'Why?  Why would you do that?'
'Long story, what about you? You want to tell me that there is no one'
'There was, she moved out and got married'
'Why didn't you propose?'
'She was never mine, I would know from day one if she was and I will make her mine'

There was an awkward silence.

'What do you want your billboard to say?'
'I am ready to be wooed, waiting to be seducbe. Get curious, ask me the right questions and I will be yours forever'

   It was an odd way to describe a business, was he flirting with me? Or am I reading the signals wrong?
The awkward silence returns.
'So, how soon do you want your billboard up?'
'Once we agree on the images we want to present'
'Do you have samples?'
He hands me a folder and holds my hand, I didn't flinch. He will not intimidate me, na today?
    I pick the folder up and plug the thumb drive into my iPad. The pictures are mind blowing.
'Who's your photographer?'
'I took them my self, six years ago... We dont have to use them'
'They are beautiful'
   I stare at pictures capturing cobwebs drowning in dew drops and the backdrop had a sunset to die for. I could picture it and recreate the mood.
'They're good, right'
'Lovely'
He was watching me and I smile at him.
'What?'
'You are beautiful....'
'Thanks, you have a lot of materials here'
'I want everyone in Nigeria and the rest of the world to talk About us, to talk about how great our project is'
'I can see it already...'
''So twice a week for the next three months'
'That is too much, our current client is very demanding and...'
He slips me the contract and I read it, it was very lucrative but I need a lawyers input.
'My lawyers will go through the contracts'
'Sounds great, now we can order'

     I could tell he was trouble, no human being would see us together and not assume the worse. He was dangerously sexy and has pitched a deal that ensures we see each other at least twice a week.
'We will have to renegotiate our meeting twice...'
'Why, what are you afraid of?'
I inhale and look straight at him.
'Once a week and Skype calls'
'Its not the same'
'I'm making it easy, it's two, sure meetings or several unplanned...'
'Let my lawyers go through and then we will finalize'

      I watch him and he smiles, he knows I am looking at him. Gbese, I am in trouble.
This test is even bigger than I ever imagined. Baratu and Daniel have been sent to test the foundation of our relationship.

Are we going to survive this?




**Season 1, Episode 29**