In the middle of everyone, under a silky sky in a courtyard. I look up at their curious eyes and tire from their gaze, so i look down. Steam Ice Rays Melt My Way, and i feel it slap me, no knock my head as i walk on and try to ignore it all. Robust Raindrops slam my head again and this time I feel it's intense rage. I look up with disdain, at the shapeless clouds. All jumbled up and gathering, gossiping about me. Instead of doing the one thing, they have been tasked to do. Rain, cough out sprinkles of cool waters, loads and lots of it. But do the clouds stop there? No o, they seize all activities and let the wicked sun shine mercilessly on me. And in the corner, not far away, a full moon watches. It does nothing but watch and I do something and walk away.
I stand up quickly and race to the restroom. I am upset and cannot believe they are getting away with it. What happened to, the good guy always wins? I don't feel like a winner right now.
Frank and Khadijatu look victorious, they look happy and are about to have a baby. The bastard rubbed it in my face and brought her here, to my happy place, my ice cream joint. I lean on the wall and my body gets weak and I fall forward. I hear all the commotion, hear women threaten and abuse someone. I can't be bothered right now. I feel the hand pull me up and with tear soaked eyes, I stare at his youthful face.
'I'm sorry'
I slap off his filthy hands and shout at him.
'What is wrong with you? What do you want?'
'I'm trying too, but I can't get you out of my mind'
'You stupid fool, you bring her here and have the guts to come in here... With lies, with your horrible egotistical delusions that I care'
'But you are in tears...'
'From constipation, you mugu...'
'I brought her here to prove that you still feel something...'
'What feelings? Lust, lies or memories of both?'
Frank laughs and shakes his head and touched me.
'You just..'
Hehn, this trouble maker touched me and I hit him harder this time. And I smack my lips and point my finger at him. At this point, the manager and Celine, march into the female restroom. Frank apologizes and leaves and I try to steady myself.
'Are you okay?'
'Oh my goodness, I can't believe I ever thought his arrogance was sexy. It's disgusting'
I was pacing and shouting and Celine hugs me tight.
'You need to stop letting this guy get to you like this'
'I know, but if it was Mathias...'
'Don't say it, I will kill him if he tries'
'But you don't want him back, right?'
'No, do you want Frank back?'
'Hell no'
'So we are been possessive over guys we don't want, back in our lives'
'Abi oo, someone should wash our heads. Fast, fast...'
I laugh and Celine too, it feels good to have a friend in situations like this.
'Where is Ajoke?'
'She said restroom smells have increased by a thousand. She even has bleach and wipes with her...'
'In her bag?'
'She showed me...'
'Wow, this pregnancy is serious ooo'
'So, what did he say? Frank, I mean'
'He knew Khadijatu's presence would rattle me'
'That Frank is just a horrible player, he is the original snake. I'm sure a ditect descendant of the original one in that garden of eden'. Celine tries to calm me in her own way, in her own words.
'At least, they won't let him come here again...', I try to make light of everything.
'Na Frank ooo, he will always find a way. What then?'
'I have vented, there's no way he will get to me like this again'
I inhale long and hard and count to ten, then exhale hard. After the fourth try, it works. I stop panicking
'Did you say you... You were constipated?'
Celine laughed and made a face at the same time, I was vexed and snapped at her.
'I thought you didn't hear anything'
'I just wanted to know, which information is private and which one you want to share...'
She had this look on her face, the look she gives when I make her promise not to tell a soul a secret. I shake my head and try to decode the look.
'With Mr. H?', I had to ask and Celine nods her head.
'I tell him everything'
'That's exhausting, for Mr. H I mean'
Celine's statement cut deep, she was right but then again....
'Should I hide the truth from him?'
'No but, put yourself in his shoes'
'Lies or half truths complicate things'
'I know.... Mathias wants to meet'
Celine isn't even talking about me, her exboyfriend has called her and she is thinking about it.
'Kai, don't do it. Don't go back to your vomit ooo'
'I know, ah'
We both say nothing and just stare at nothing. This life can be so annoying, you think you have dealt with a problem but it keeps resurfacing.
Ajoke stands by the door with her fingers clamped down on her nose and her elbow locked around the almost empty bottle of groundnuts.
''Abeg, you babes want to kill me. Let's go now'
She had all our bags on the other arm and tried to balance it all. Celine steps forward, collects her bag and the bottle almost dropped. Ajoke does not save my bag or hers, instead she saves the bottle. I dive and catch our bags.
'Ajoke, my bag. I swear I would have strangled you if my bag touched the toilet floor'
She didn't wait, she ran out nauseated and escaped from the concentrated smell of bleach and air freshener.
'Na die we dey o', I announce and follow her.
'How many more months?' Celine asked and I did not bother to answer.
Our dear old Judas the betrayer friend, Khadijatu spots us as we leave. And she had a surprise look on her face. For her, the situation just clicked. She just realized why Frank brought her here, me. She realizes that Frank's obsession is here to stay and she looks down at her fingers and then up at me. She had an awkward smile on her face, the kind that made me know she wanted to talk. Pour her heart out to my already filled up ears, and stupid naive me back then would listen. Right now she knows and hugs her baby bump.
The oddest thing happened, I touched mine. Yes, I too want a baby. Maybe, I am one of those girls that have one first before marriage. And then, I get married, maybe...
Celine grabs my hand and pulls me away, I didn't even know I had stopped walking. I need to snap out of it. Khadijatu and I can't ever go back to been friends, ever.
'Let's drop your car and all jump into mine'
Ajoke suggests.
'Laiye lai, no way. We need all the help we can get'
'You two are paranoid, we have our phones, we can call for help'. Ajoke says pouring the last five nuts from the bottle.
'Just in case, we can't. Let the driver stay', I kind of plead with Ajoke.
'God willing, you are fine. Let's just go'
All the paper bags in the world could not contain her nausea, yet she didn't want to go home. I stylishly sent a WhatsApp message to Bala and gave up our location. He joined us as Ajoke convulsed and threw up some more into the open drainage. Celine repeatedly begs to take her to the hospital and I am on the lookout for her man.
Bala practically had to dangle a bottle of groundnuts in Ajoke's face to get her to stand up. She wanted to stay there, and looked exhausted. Bala signals to his driver and the man shows Ajoke a basket of different flavours of mouthwash.
'Please', Bala pleads with her and then she gargled mint mouthwash and collects the bottle of groundnuts from him.
'I never see this kind thing for my life', Celine claps her hands amazed by Ajoke's drama. Bala cut an evil eye at her and Ajoke stops walking towards the car.
'Everything smells and I throw up everyday'
'Ajoke, go and see the doctor ooo. Me, I am scared'
'The hospital smells...'
'So, Hehn Ade tell her oo'
Bala blinks and signals to Celine and i pinch her at hee back, she stops talking.
I grab one of the mint mouthwash and then watch them drive away.
'I hope he is taking her to the hospital'
'He is, but she hates going. So he cajoles her...'
'Say wetin' happen, do you know how long she has been throwing up?'
'He knows'
My phone rings and I expect it to be my boo, it's not. It's my old time mentor. The eloquent family friend that talked some sense into me, when I was wallowing in my bitter, I don't have a job phase.
'Good evening Sir', I was excited to hear his voice.
Celine collects the car keys and drives. I just update him on my own career journey. He is impressed and I am pleased my situation has improved since we last spoke. He is truly an old school scholar and entrepreneur.
'And you are married now?'
The question surprised me and I say no and start to feel uneasy.
'Eru baa mi o', he complains in Yoruba. He is seventy five years old and played football in my grandfather's house in Ebute Meta as a child. My father is the last of his siblings and my mentor who is much older than my dad. But, all my cousins that he knows have kids ten years old.
I felt the need to defend myself and at the same time my eyes watered.
'I should be married but I was betrayed by my last boyfriend...'
'Do you still want to get married?'
It was an odd question coming from my mentor and friend totown family.
Tears dropped as I try to compose my self and hold my words together.
'Yes, but...', before I could update him on Mr. H.
'I ask because, my nephew is in town and wants to meet an ambitious woman from a great family'
I chuckle and wipe tears from my eyes.
'I have a boyfriend...'
'That will marry you?'
I pause and look at Celine who is watching me speak on the phone.
'That's the plan... Marriage...'
'If you are sure then invite me for the wedding, my nephew is in town next month... Eh 'Ade, have you done your Masters?'
'No...'
'Well, are you still interested...'
'Of course, Sir'
'He is willing to pay for it and...'
'Daddy', I know exactly what he is doing.
'It would be great to have you as a daughter, perfect. And did I mention that he looks better than that your joker of a boyfriend... What's his name again?'
'Frank'
'Anyway, I will be back from Switzerland next month. Come and see me, let's talk business and catch up'
'I will, Sir. Thank you'
I cut the phone and wipe tears from my eyes, just as Celine parks the car in front of my gate. She turns the car around and I start to protest.
''Ade, we need to just get our minds off all the stress'
'So where are we going?'
'Karaoke', she announced.
'Not interested', I grumble and shiver as if I had been crying all day.
'Have you talked to Mr. H about this?'
I think about the question and adjust my seatbelt.
'If you don't discuss this, it will eat into your foundation and crush your relationship'
'We talked.... He said until Frank drama is over... I'm beginning to think, it will never be over.... That he hangs around, knowing it destroys every hope of Mr. H ever fully trusting me... I don't think...'
'So, Chief Ojora has bribed you into dating his nephew?'
'It's not like that'
'I heard him ask about your Masters...'
'Mmmhf, he did'
'Do you think Mr. H can't pay for your Masters in a prestigious university in America?'
'It's not like that....'
''Abeg jare, don't fall for it ooo. How many people go to all those Havard and Co' How many automatically jump into the top one percent of society'
'Celine, I didn't accept...'
'This man knows you, but I know you too. You will be miserable in a loveless marriage'
'Celine, stop jumping into conclusions. Abeg'
'Okay ooo, and just so you know. I will talk some sense into Mr. H's head'
She's right, I'm beginning to feel like this is just going. No bus stop, no direction. Just going and going.
The drive to the Mainland was long and the traffic near drove me insane. Lagos drivers need deliverance, seriously the bullying was out if this world.
Finally, we get to Ikeja shopping mall and park. We settle for Bailey's on ice and listen to boring lifeless singing at Beerhugs. Until 'I got a man' pops up. I practically grab the mic and we both rap to the old school classic. It feels good to sing and scream and make our audience laugh.
Ajoke calls and grumbles about the compulsory rest the doctor impossed on her. She wants to join us but is too tired. She updates us on Ashabi's love triangle. And we weigh in on everything.
As we step back into the restaurant, I hear his familiar laughter.
He was happy and she leaned into him and side hugs him. I watched them, and they look like lovers on a dinner date.
I watched them from the top floor and they are unaware of my presence. Unaware they are been watched. You did not need to tell me that this was Baratu, slim dark with her hair in rows, all back. She had on comfortable shoes and her small handbag was to die for. Her cream chiion blouse on a smart pant suit, tells me the blazer is in her car. She walks up to her massive Range Rover and Mr. H opens the door for her. She gives him a peck and they hug and he watches her drive away.
'That's Baratu, right? "
Celine nods her head and I shake mine. I pull out my phone and Celine snatched it.
'Don't do it'
'Celine, give me my phone'
'What do you want to say?'
'Your business? Just give me'
'Think, 'Ade. Imagine if Mr. H had walked in on you and Frank in a female bathroom'
'Wetin concern you?'
'It was innocent'
'Since morning'
'Please, let's give him five minutes'
'Keep the phone, destiny can only be delayed. Not denied'
I March back into the bar and request Rihanna's 'Drink to that'. I scream and dance it all off. Until, it was time to go home.
Upon everything that happened today, i still got home before him. Celine tries hard to stay awake, so she can witness the drama. But her eyes betray her amd she goes on to sleep.
Mr. H walks in singing and dancing, as if he had won some billiondollar lotteey.
'Lunch was fantastic and the business opportunities, the best this year'
'So you had lunch all day, is that why you could not call?'
'The clients...'
'They were many, that's great'
'No... But...'
'Si how much billions did you blow me off for?'
'I did not, come here...'
He spins me and rocks me as he sings.
'Wow, maybe you should see Baratu more. It brings joy to your face'
Mr. H freezes and gives me a surprise look. Mr. H was speechless and I have to say, in all honesty. That this Baratu girl is big trouble in my little world.
Frank and Khadijatu look victorious, they look happy and are about to have a baby. The bastard rubbed it in my face and brought her here, to my happy place, my ice cream joint. I lean on the wall and my body gets weak and I fall forward. I hear all the commotion, hear women threaten and abuse someone. I can't be bothered right now. I feel the hand pull me up and with tear soaked eyes, I stare at his youthful face.
'I'm sorry'
I slap off his filthy hands and shout at him.
'What is wrong with you? What do you want?'
'I'm trying too, but I can't get you out of my mind'
'You stupid fool, you bring her here and have the guts to come in here... With lies, with your horrible egotistical delusions that I care'
'But you are in tears...'
'From constipation, you mugu...'
'I brought her here to prove that you still feel something...'
'What feelings? Lust, lies or memories of both?'
Frank laughs and shakes his head and touched me.
'You just..'
Hehn, this trouble maker touched me and I hit him harder this time. And I smack my lips and point my finger at him. At this point, the manager and Celine, march into the female restroom. Frank apologizes and leaves and I try to steady myself.
'Are you okay?'
'Oh my goodness, I can't believe I ever thought his arrogance was sexy. It's disgusting'
I was pacing and shouting and Celine hugs me tight.
'You need to stop letting this guy get to you like this'
'I know, but if it was Mathias...'
'Don't say it, I will kill him if he tries'
'But you don't want him back, right?'
'No, do you want Frank back?'
'Hell no'
'So we are been possessive over guys we don't want, back in our lives'
'Abi oo, someone should wash our heads. Fast, fast...'
I laugh and Celine too, it feels good to have a friend in situations like this.
'Where is Ajoke?'
'She said restroom smells have increased by a thousand. She even has bleach and wipes with her...'
'In her bag?'
'She showed me...'
'Wow, this pregnancy is serious ooo'
'So, what did he say? Frank, I mean'
'He knew Khadijatu's presence would rattle me'
'That Frank is just a horrible player, he is the original snake. I'm sure a ditect descendant of the original one in that garden of eden'. Celine tries to calm me in her own way, in her own words.
'At least, they won't let him come here again...', I try to make light of everything.
'Na Frank ooo, he will always find a way. What then?'
'I have vented, there's no way he will get to me like this again'
I inhale long and hard and count to ten, then exhale hard. After the fourth try, it works. I stop panicking
'Did you say you... You were constipated?'
Celine laughed and made a face at the same time, I was vexed and snapped at her.
'I thought you didn't hear anything'
'I just wanted to know, which information is private and which one you want to share...'
She had this look on her face, the look she gives when I make her promise not to tell a soul a secret. I shake my head and try to decode the look.
'With Mr. H?', I had to ask and Celine nods her head.
'I tell him everything'
'That's exhausting, for Mr. H I mean'
Celine's statement cut deep, she was right but then again....
'Should I hide the truth from him?'
'No but, put yourself in his shoes'
'Lies or half truths complicate things'
'I know.... Mathias wants to meet'
Celine isn't even talking about me, her exboyfriend has called her and she is thinking about it.
'Kai, don't do it. Don't go back to your vomit ooo'
'I know, ah'
We both say nothing and just stare at nothing. This life can be so annoying, you think you have dealt with a problem but it keeps resurfacing.
Ajoke stands by the door with her fingers clamped down on her nose and her elbow locked around the almost empty bottle of groundnuts.
''Abeg, you babes want to kill me. Let's go now'
She had all our bags on the other arm and tried to balance it all. Celine steps forward, collects her bag and the bottle almost dropped. Ajoke does not save my bag or hers, instead she saves the bottle. I dive and catch our bags.
'Ajoke, my bag. I swear I would have strangled you if my bag touched the toilet floor'
She didn't wait, she ran out nauseated and escaped from the concentrated smell of bleach and air freshener.
'Na die we dey o', I announce and follow her.
'How many more months?' Celine asked and I did not bother to answer.
Our dear old Judas the betrayer friend, Khadijatu spots us as we leave. And she had a surprise look on her face. For her, the situation just clicked. She just realized why Frank brought her here, me. She realizes that Frank's obsession is here to stay and she looks down at her fingers and then up at me. She had an awkward smile on her face, the kind that made me know she wanted to talk. Pour her heart out to my already filled up ears, and stupid naive me back then would listen. Right now she knows and hugs her baby bump.
The oddest thing happened, I touched mine. Yes, I too want a baby. Maybe, I am one of those girls that have one first before marriage. And then, I get married, maybe...
Celine grabs my hand and pulls me away, I didn't even know I had stopped walking. I need to snap out of it. Khadijatu and I can't ever go back to been friends, ever.
'Let's drop your car and all jump into mine'
Ajoke suggests.
'Laiye lai, no way. We need all the help we can get'
'You two are paranoid, we have our phones, we can call for help'. Ajoke says pouring the last five nuts from the bottle.
'Just in case, we can't. Let the driver stay', I kind of plead with Ajoke.
'God willing, you are fine. Let's just go'
All the paper bags in the world could not contain her nausea, yet she didn't want to go home. I stylishly sent a WhatsApp message to Bala and gave up our location. He joined us as Ajoke convulsed and threw up some more into the open drainage. Celine repeatedly begs to take her to the hospital and I am on the lookout for her man.
Bala practically had to dangle a bottle of groundnuts in Ajoke's face to get her to stand up. She wanted to stay there, and looked exhausted. Bala signals to his driver and the man shows Ajoke a basket of different flavours of mouthwash.
'Please', Bala pleads with her and then she gargled mint mouthwash and collects the bottle of groundnuts from him.
'I never see this kind thing for my life', Celine claps her hands amazed by Ajoke's drama. Bala cut an evil eye at her and Ajoke stops walking towards the car.
'Everything smells and I throw up everyday'
'Ajoke, go and see the doctor ooo. Me, I am scared'
'The hospital smells...'
'So, Hehn Ade tell her oo'
Bala blinks and signals to Celine and i pinch her at hee back, she stops talking.
I grab one of the mint mouthwash and then watch them drive away.
'I hope he is taking her to the hospital'
'He is, but she hates going. So he cajoles her...'
'Say wetin' happen, do you know how long she has been throwing up?'
'He knows'
My phone rings and I expect it to be my boo, it's not. It's my old time mentor. The eloquent family friend that talked some sense into me, when I was wallowing in my bitter, I don't have a job phase.
'Good evening Sir', I was excited to hear his voice.
Celine collects the car keys and drives. I just update him on my own career journey. He is impressed and I am pleased my situation has improved since we last spoke. He is truly an old school scholar and entrepreneur.
'And you are married now?'
The question surprised me and I say no and start to feel uneasy.
'Eru baa mi o', he complains in Yoruba. He is seventy five years old and played football in my grandfather's house in Ebute Meta as a child. My father is the last of his siblings and my mentor who is much older than my dad. But, all my cousins that he knows have kids ten years old.
I felt the need to defend myself and at the same time my eyes watered.
'I should be married but I was betrayed by my last boyfriend...'
'Do you still want to get married?'
It was an odd question coming from my mentor and friend totown family.
Tears dropped as I try to compose my self and hold my words together.
'Yes, but...', before I could update him on Mr. H.
'I ask because, my nephew is in town and wants to meet an ambitious woman from a great family'
I chuckle and wipe tears from my eyes.
'I have a boyfriend...'
'That will marry you?'
I pause and look at Celine who is watching me speak on the phone.
'That's the plan... Marriage...'
'If you are sure then invite me for the wedding, my nephew is in town next month... Eh 'Ade, have you done your Masters?'
'No...'
'Well, are you still interested...'
'Of course, Sir'
'He is willing to pay for it and...'
'Daddy', I know exactly what he is doing.
'It would be great to have you as a daughter, perfect. And did I mention that he looks better than that your joker of a boyfriend... What's his name again?'
'Frank'
'Anyway, I will be back from Switzerland next month. Come and see me, let's talk business and catch up'
'I will, Sir. Thank you'
I cut the phone and wipe tears from my eyes, just as Celine parks the car in front of my gate. She turns the car around and I start to protest.
''Ade, we need to just get our minds off all the stress'
'So where are we going?'
'Karaoke', she announced.
'Not interested', I grumble and shiver as if I had been crying all day.
'Have you talked to Mr. H about this?'
I think about the question and adjust my seatbelt.
'If you don't discuss this, it will eat into your foundation and crush your relationship'
'We talked.... He said until Frank drama is over... I'm beginning to think, it will never be over.... That he hangs around, knowing it destroys every hope of Mr. H ever fully trusting me... I don't think...'
'So, Chief Ojora has bribed you into dating his nephew?'
'It's not like that'
'I heard him ask about your Masters...'
'Mmmhf, he did'
'Do you think Mr. H can't pay for your Masters in a prestigious university in America?'
'It's not like that....'
''Abeg jare, don't fall for it ooo. How many people go to all those Havard and Co' How many automatically jump into the top one percent of society'
'Celine, I didn't accept...'
'This man knows you, but I know you too. You will be miserable in a loveless marriage'
'Celine, stop jumping into conclusions. Abeg'
'Okay ooo, and just so you know. I will talk some sense into Mr. H's head'
She's right, I'm beginning to feel like this is just going. No bus stop, no direction. Just going and going.
The drive to the Mainland was long and the traffic near drove me insane. Lagos drivers need deliverance, seriously the bullying was out if this world.
Finally, we get to Ikeja shopping mall and park. We settle for Bailey's on ice and listen to boring lifeless singing at Beerhugs. Until 'I got a man' pops up. I practically grab the mic and we both rap to the old school classic. It feels good to sing and scream and make our audience laugh.
Ajoke calls and grumbles about the compulsory rest the doctor impossed on her. She wants to join us but is too tired. She updates us on Ashabi's love triangle. And we weigh in on everything.
As we step back into the restaurant, I hear his familiar laughter.
He was happy and she leaned into him and side hugs him. I watched them, and they look like lovers on a dinner date.
I watched them from the top floor and they are unaware of my presence. Unaware they are been watched. You did not need to tell me that this was Baratu, slim dark with her hair in rows, all back. She had on comfortable shoes and her small handbag was to die for. Her cream chiion blouse on a smart pant suit, tells me the blazer is in her car. She walks up to her massive Range Rover and Mr. H opens the door for her. She gives him a peck and they hug and he watches her drive away.
'That's Baratu, right? "
Celine nods her head and I shake mine. I pull out my phone and Celine snatched it.
'Don't do it'
'Celine, give me my phone'
'What do you want to say?'
'Your business? Just give me'
'Think, 'Ade. Imagine if Mr. H had walked in on you and Frank in a female bathroom'
'Wetin concern you?'
'It was innocent'
'Since morning'
'Please, let's give him five minutes'
'Keep the phone, destiny can only be delayed. Not denied'
I March back into the bar and request Rihanna's 'Drink to that'. I scream and dance it all off. Until, it was time to go home.
Upon everything that happened today, i still got home before him. Celine tries hard to stay awake, so she can witness the drama. But her eyes betray her amd she goes on to sleep.
Mr. H walks in singing and dancing, as if he had won some billiondollar lotteey.
'Lunch was fantastic and the business opportunities, the best this year'
'So you had lunch all day, is that why you could not call?'
'The clients...'
'They were many, that's great'
'No... But...'
'Si how much billions did you blow me off for?'
'I did not, come here...'
He spins me and rocks me as he sings.
'Wow, maybe you should see Baratu more. It brings joy to your face'
Mr. H freezes and gives me a surprise look. Mr. H was speechless and I have to say, in all honesty. That this Baratu girl is big trouble in my little world.
**Season 1, Episode 28**
**"ADE'S JOURNAL" 28, COPYRIGHT 2016 **
**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE, COPYRIGHT 2016**
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