The moon has refused to shine, my sins have started to unwind. The intensity of my actions boils and bubble on the surface. As the reality of those three words, 'actions have consequences', hunt my fluttering mind.
Who sent me? Why did I get myself into this hot mess? Did I have to pretend to not care about physical contact? Did I have to starve my lustful flesh of this thing called sex? Is this the price I have to pay for deceiving myself?
After all, my prayers to get rid of my boyfriends distractions, Baratu paid off. So, please explain to me. Tell me why I have been flirting with this sexy lilac eyes handsome man. That reminds me of the savage horse riding hunk in Game of Thrones.
Na wa o, just look at my dirty mind. I am not even thinking of the result of this evening drink with Henrik.
See me see trouble oooo.
Anyway shaaaaa, let me and gist you about this dilemma I am in. Mmmmf...
Of course you know about the beautiful white boi, that I was caught kissing. There's more oo.
It was my ex fiance Frank, that caught me. We were planning our wedding, when his wife came to Abuja and I accused her of trying to steal him from me. Yes, it was an awkward way to meet his wife Lara. They are now divorced but my fake best friend is going to push out his baby next month. Yes, they were having sex while I thought we were truly in love.
Frank has tried and failed to come back into my life, which now has the sweetest man in it. Mr. H, whom has been distracted by his former girlfriend and current business partner Baratu. I on the other hand, got distracted by Daniel Ojora. A big time Lagos boi, whom a union with him guarantees instant asset acquisition on Banana Island. It's their family's gift to brides, he wanted me but I just wanted to make Mr. H jealous. But he started to look good until he could no longer wait for me. So he did me a favor, that's in his own words oooo. He slept with Baratu to give me back Mr. H.
Ridiculous.
By then, Henrik came into the picture. Oh, did I mention that he has a fiancee. That alone should be enough repellent. But no ooo. This knuckle headed Ade, had to flirt and have drinks. And now, the one time I have betrayed Mr. H. Who by the way, brushed and beat some sense into Frank when he was stalking me around town. This one time I have been unfaithful with my lips, Frank catches me.
He is in shock and disappointed, I know that look. And Henrik is curious to know who this man that has this guilty effect on me, is.
No, this is not happening. I will not let Frank meet Henrik, so I drag Henrik off and almost sprint while pulling him with me. He's heavier than he looks and so it was not that much of a brisk walk.
'Ade, wait... Can we talk?'
'Henrik, I'm sorry I...'
He pulls me so close, I could feel all of him and I looked deep into his sexy eyes. He was about to kiss me again and I thought of Frank recording us and sending it to Mr. H.
I place my flat hand in front of my lips and he smiled and kissed my neck instead.
'Stop', I dragged the word that did not sound convincing enough. But he did.
'We have to stop'
Henrik was not happy about my mood and rejections.
'My ex, he... We were engaged but it was all a lie. He stalked me and Mr. H beat him up'
'Mr. H can fight?'
'He was a professional boxer'
'You didn't tell me that...'
'We have to stop seeing each other...'
'Nope, now we have to'
He was so close, and my hands were not pushing him away.
'I'm breaking it up...'
'Don't, I'm marrying Mr. H..'
Henrik lifts my left hand and pecks the back of my hand.
'He has not made a commitment...'
I yank away my hand.
'... And you have yet...'
'He knows he has lost you, just as Athena knows I am no longer hers..'
'We are only human, we will get over this', I reassure Henrik.
'Will we?'
I am home alone, trying to think of how best to break the news to Mr. H. I cannot think and I am scared. His last words ring in my ears as I still feel his wet lips on my naked neck.
Celine has been watching me but she did not say a word and when I notice she is there. I look away.
'Thought you and Mr. H went out'
I shake my head.
'What's wrong?'
'How?'
It was an odd way to answer her but I didn't want her to be the first to know. I hear his car park in front of the house and then my heart stops beating.
Celine was still watching me and I suspect she suspects something happened between Henrik and I.
I quietly walk into Mr. H's room and tuck myself under the duvet with a book. Yes, I am pretending to read because I have no clue what else to do.
'Ade, did you see the magazine? Everyone can't stop talking about it...'
'...About what?'
'Daniel and Baratu, they are engaged'
Na wa ooo, the entire world will marry before me at this rate. I can't believe I just said that in my mind.
'No reaction, okay you knew right? I'm in shock...'
'We need to talk'
Mr. H stopped removing his suit jacket and looked at me.
'I err... I em... I kissed...'
'Frank? How could you?'
'No Henrik but Frank saw us'
Mr. H removed and hanged his jacket.
'You did it to make Frank jealous or to make me jealous?'
None of the above, at least that's what my shaking my head meant.
Mr. H balled up his jacket and tossed it on the ground while grunting out loud. My book flew and landed somewhere, I don't know where but I was afraid.
'Why Ade, why?'
I scuttled towards him and grabbed his hands.
'I had a drink...'
'So you were tipsy?'
'No..'
'EXPLAIN THIS, TO ME'
He was so angry and loud I jump up on my feet.
'I'm sorry, Harry please...'
'Don't Harry me', he shoved my hands away.
'If Frank did not see you two, would you have told me?'
I didn't ever think like that, but somehow I think I might not have. I would have just slept in my room, daydreaming about the kiss.
My reaction made him walk out of the room and I run after him.
'I've been feeling so alone and...'
'You are the one who decided we should abstain and try not to tempt each other..'
'I know...'
Celine raced into the living room because Mr. H was shouting.
'You are a bloody hypocrite '
'That is not fair'
'Tell me, do you even love me?'
'I do I was just tempted...'
Celine creeps away.
'Where you ever tempted when you were with Frank?'
'Yes but...'
'... You never acted on it. Case closed, I have proved my point'
'Thats not fair or true..'
'.... Then tell me the truth'
'I was heart broken when I saw you with Baratu...'
'When?'
'At the mall, Celine and Ajoke and I went for a meal and I watched you two together. You are still in love with her....'
'We were close...'
'You would rather spend time with her than me, you brought her to our get away place...'
'...And you took me to your toasters get away place. Was I supposed to watch you two together?'
'So you brought her to spite me...'
'And what was I to you? Your backup plan?'
'I want to marry you, spend the rest of my life with you, have your children... But you won't commit and you flirt with your ex, and you just seem so numb...'
'....And you are so desperate, you grasp at straws'
'I do not'
'Hanging out with a play boy Daniel. And the breaking up a bond Henrik has made...'
'I did not break them up.. '
'But you are leading him on'
'Like you were leading her on, just look at how excited you were about her been in the News'
'You are the one that kissed another man'
'Like you and Baratu didn't flirt...'
There was silence in the room, the scary kind. The type of silence that begged for a question.
'Did you two...'
Mr. H looked away and I almost lost my balance. I leaned on the wall and took a deep breath in.
'Did you and Baratu...'
'It's not like that..'
Mr. H tries to hug me and I shove his hand away and look straight into his eyes.
'Explain it to me then...'
'We dated long ago and all the time we spent together...'
'Tell me the complete truth right now'
Mr. H was quiet and I raised my voiced and screamed.
'Did you screw her?'
'The day we were at the shopping mall'
'Wait, are you telling me that you slept with her or you kissed?'
I need all the details before I jump into conclusions. My head was spinning and really I did not want to hear the truth.
'We did it all, but it was a mistake...'
'How many times after that...'
'Ade please..'
'How many?'
'I thought we were rekindling...'
I did not know I was not that strong, because I crashed hard on the ground, screaming and crying. I had not imagined it would get that far. Mr. H had betrayed me and I was a fool not to catch it.
I cried like a baby until I was exhausted, I abused, accused, begged and threatened him.
'You lied to me, led me on. Only for me to find out that Poison Ivy Hides In Your Bouquet'
He begged and cried and then I felt stupid. I stood up and wiped my tears and grabbed my car keys.
'Where are you going?'
'To finish what I started...'
'What?'
'I am going to have sinful lustful sex with Henrik. After all, I heard white men give the best head'
Mr. H locks the door and pockets the key and I laugh and clap my hands in front of me.
'If you like, lock the door. I will still find him and make sweet love to him'
'Don't do it, Ade you are just angry....'
'How many times did you say you two had sex?'
'Ade it was wrong of me...'
'So, what was your plan eh? Continue to sleep with Baratu abi? So you planned to chop and clean mouth, right?'
'No, it was over..'
'Well my own has just started and me I will chop for the whole world to see'
'Ade please, let's go to the room'
'The same room the two of you...'
'She never came here...'
'... So you used hotels, her house?'
'Ade, please...'
'Should I move out?'
'No'
'Are you sure, because my own revenge will be bloody'
'Don't move out and don't revenge any...'
'Chai, my life. So, I have been deceiving myself. No one man can be faithful'
'I can, just give me...'
I bite the side of my finger and shake my head. I am such a stupid naive little fool. And the tears stream down my face, this betrayal is different. I feel like I am an experienced fool. Maybe, Henrik is what I need. Maybe a change of location is exactly what would heal me. Because, right now I feel broken, broken into a million unrepairable pieces.
We both cry and sleep in each other's arm, I toss it away later in disgust. Chai, my life.
I did wake up to move far away but his grip on me was strong. If only his hold on me was true and faithful. We obviously were not meant to be, I think I am doomed to be alone or betrayed for life. The reality made me cry and he pulls me to him. So he is not asleep self, na die him dey.
The next morning, Mr. H didn't want to leave the house but I assured him we were fine. And as he drove off, I picked my phone to dial Henrik. All the styles I have always been curious about, I will do it today, today.
Celine snatched the phone and cut the line.
'He is kuku your cousin. So protect him ooo'
'I am talking to you as a friend, don't do it'
'Did you not hear him? He has been sleeping with Baratu'
Celine opened and shut her mouth.
'I suspected but felt he was like me, just flirting'
'Ade I'm so sorry, I heard the part where you kissed Henrik'
'I actually did and confessed to Mr. H. His own has broken the backbone of this relationship'
'So what now?'
'I am off duty today, Henrik and I will not eat anything today but ourselves'
'I know you are upset but this is not you'
'And goody two shoes me has suffered enough, I am going all out. I am killing the girl I used to be and.. '
'Come'
'The only place I am going to is straight into his arms..'
'Just come with me'
I follow her but I have made up my mind.
In the quiet mansion with its Beautiful architectural marvels, Ajoke is happy to see us but can tell something has happened.
'Ade slept with Henrik, abi and Mr. H found out'
I laughed so loud, the ladies look at me funny.
'Close, l kissed Henrik, Frank caught me. I told Mr. H and he has been sleeping with Baratu'
There was no need to sugar coat this horrible situation.
'It's a lie'
'It's the truth'
'My God'
'Knock sense into Ade oo, she wants revenge sex'
'Why, you don't need it'
'I do oo, have you seen Henrik?'
Ajoke nods her head, she approved but didn't say it.
'That sexy godlike Game of Thrones Dothraki king that died', I started to say knowing I was annoying Celine.
'No way..', Celine started to say.
'This body, height but with more Scandinavian blood running through his veins and those eyes....', I add.
Ajoke licked her lips and shook her head, we both high five ourselves.
'Don't encourage her oo', Celine grumbled.
'leave her, she seized my phone, let me tell you. Delay is not denial ooo'
'Ade calm down, how come Frank was there?'
'Maybe he was following me ooo, maybe that's his hangout place. I don't care'
'Mr. H was sleeping with Baratu I am still in shock'
'I have cried, so the shock has gone'
'But Ade, you told us that if you are not in love...'
'That I can't sleep with a man abi? What about when you are in lust?'
'Just fizzles away, he told me he is breaking up with Athena and Daniel self confirmed that Henrik is falling for me'
'What about Mr. H'
'I asked him if he wanted me to move out'
'Ade, why now?'
'If he doesn't want the relationship anymore, I can leave'
'And?', the two women echoed and spoke at the same time.
'He said no, but I can't face him unless I stray'
'But it will be over'
'I think we both know it is, we are just in denial'
Henrik called my phone and just as Celine is about to switch it off, I laugh.
'Switch it off now, but know this. I will be sleeping in his house tonight'
Nonsense and ingredients, this my story has changed for life. i will never trust anybody and if any man loves himself. He better not trust me.
'Give her the phone, 'Ade is bluffing. She no get liver'
Ajoke snatched the phone and placed it in my hands. It was a sign.
A test, because I could see it, whatever words I speak right now. Whatever decision I take right now, would change the course of my life for life....
**Season 1, Episode 46**
**'ADE'S JOURNAL' 46, COPYRIGHT 2016**
**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE, COPYRIGHT 2016**
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