The Boomerang Effects Of Love

"ADE'S JOURNAL" 51

   Have you ever seen an ant climbing out of a sand funnel? It's sand exterior feigns a solid safe ground, until the ground starts to quake under its feet. Confusion sets in and the ant quickens it's pace to escape the earthquake missing visible cracks. In all its panic it does not see the doom lurking below, watching. And before it knows it, the poor creature feels a pair of giant jaws from the camouflaged Antlion clamp down on the ant's delicate but effective limbs. The more it struggles, the more the floor caves inwards and downwards towards the open jaws of the beast. But alas, life is a comedy because as the Antlion feeds,  a curious human being, snatches the soil and the Antlion fights to burrow deep into a sand funnel that is encircled by a hand, and the cycle continues...
 
          That's how I feel right now, as if I am trapped no matter what choice I make. It's unfortunately, The Boomerang Effects Of Love and my constant belief that I will be betrayed. Its not healthy and really makes me imagine all sorts of doom until I am exhausted and can't think. But when I see an old friend, listen to their chaotic lives. Then my life doesn't seem so bad after all. Or don't you feel that way, sometimes?
  Right now, I have refused to pick Mr. H's call and after five missed calls he stops. The phone starts to ring again and I ignore it. Nnoye abandons her bid to open the gate and grabs the phone.
'Is he still calling you?'
'Nnonye drop my phone ooo, stop am ooo'
  The girl has no ounce of respect for personal space at all, at all.
'Calm down, I'm just curious, to see if it's Frank'
 I hiss long and hard, of course she is joking. She insists she is not joking and shoves my phone in my face.
'True, look'
  It's Frank alright but who cares and then Henrik calls. In that exact moment, I abandon everything and pick his call.
'Hi sweety'
'Darling I'm fantastic, how is my sweetheart?'
  I raise up my engagement ring on my finger and smile.
'Showing our ring off to the world'
'Correct. So, has mum and dad been informed?'
 I pause and hear a busy tone and look at my phone screen. It's my mum and then my brother's and new comments on a picture Henrik tagged me with on Facebook.
'Not yet, but....'
'I know I didn't ask, but do you mind... I tagged you with Our pictures and people are asking when the engagement party is'
   I did not even think about it, my mind flowed and the events flowed and I voiced out exactly how I wanted it to be.
'I don't mind, best it's close to the wedding. How's a week to our November Wedding?'
  The flawless smile grew on my face and I giggled.
'The words I want to hear'
  Henrik was happy, I could tell from his voice. So I continue to fill him up about how and where we should have what.
'Traditional, we would have the white wedding in Europe or America?'
'America sounds great'
 I loved how he said it and a barrage of media sounds escape from my phone.
 I look at the picture, thank God I look great. And of course, at the number of likes the picture of me wearing the engagement ring has. One hundred and fifty and climbing and my uncle's and aunts have placed comments.
'So you will...'
'Huhn?'
 I was too busy scrolling down and admiring the other pictures from the shareholders party.
'Ade?'
'Oh, yes..'
 I answered absent mindedly, I was scanning through the pictures and all the ones with Baratu and Daniel showed they were not happy with each other.
  I digress.
'Henrik darling, I'm Driving down to their house this minute'
  My mind was drifting and I did not know how all this was going to end.
  I usually don't put private pictures up on Facebook, especially relationship pictures. Can you blame me, I would have had three relationship uploads by now. Fine, I must have put up pictures of Mr. H and I but my privacy mode was up. I think I shared it with only a few. No, wait I think it wasn't that private.
  It's with Frank that I made sure not one picture was up. And when it was, I set it so only me could see it. Maybe, I was already suspicious back then. Or he cautioned me? Yes, he did. Kai, the idiot was smart. I was duch a gullible soul.
     But this time, I need to update and tell my parents and siblings.
  Henrik and I chat some more and he makes me laugh and prune myself. I crosscheck that my hair is smooth and my face isn't oily. I am perfect and I feel beautiful and my cheeks ache from smiling.
'I have a surprise...'
'For me?'
'When you get back'
'I can't wait'
 And as I drop the phone, I smile at the windows and giggle. I feel Nnoye's eyes watching me and I turn to her.
'So are we still going to the movies?'
'After my family meeting'
'So, can I come?'
  I wanted to say yes, but I remembered that she sold me out with Tina. Another woman from Mr. H's past. I can't afford to have her attend my family meeting. Unless I want the details in tomorrow's papers.
 Isn't life ironic, I keep her secrets yet she doesn't keep mine.
'Just see one first, then I'd join you'
'Even if It's midnight they release you?'
   I laughed hard.
'I won't be there till midnight'

  Scared? A little, but not because mum or dad would do anything to me. But because the last time we were together, I introduced them to Mr. H. Now, I am engaged to a different man.
  My brother's are with my parents and everyone is waiting for me. The dramatic child with every situation escalating by the day.

  The gates to my parents house open and I am glad for a minute, until I see her.
My crazy Auntie rushes out of the house and to my side. She didn't think about her safety or mine, she just grabbed my hand while I was parking.
 I slam on the brakes and scream at her.
Auntie was scrutinizing my engagement ring aand I yanked it out of her hands and applied the hand brakes.
'Auntie for God's sake...'
'So it is true, just yesterday you were with....'
 She grabbed my hand again and I yank my hand away from her and point my finger at her.
'Auntie Abeg, if you won't pray for me or bless my union with Henrik, then don't say anything'
'If you like. Shout more than that, me I will always tell you the truth'
  My mother runs and stands between us, and then hugs me. As she stylishly pulled me away from her troublesome sister.
My two brothers are at the entrance of the house but hiding from my Auntie and laughing at the situation.
'Don't laugh, it's not funny'
  They try to hold in their Laughter and instead  start laughing loud enough for my Aunt to hear and that makes me smile. I look back at my Aunt who is really on a phone call or pretending to receive a call. I can't tell.
 Inside, everyone sits and watches me and I flash the ring to my brother's. They scream and hug me and i show it to my mum.
'Sho daa ba yi? Facebook le me ti gbo'
'Mummy, everything happened fast and...'
'And what?'
  I side hug her and squeeze hard and she nodged me away, still upset that I didn't tell her.
'Fi mi le Jo, you and your sister are just secretive. Does she know?'
'Of course'
'Good'
'Are you mad at me?'
'Since that good for nothing boy, what's his name again?'
 My brothers echoed the name that just won't go away.
'Frank'
'Eh Hehn, Frank e, ever since he boldly walked into our family meeting and falsely declared he would marry you..'
'Mummy forget him'
'For a man to lie like that to everyone, it affected you'
'Not forever though'
'Thank God, this time it will happen..:
'Mummy, this time I'm getting married in November...'
'By the special grace of God'
'Yes ooo'
'And I'm no longer staying with Mr. H... Harry. I'm now in Henrik's guest house... On the street with the chocolate cafe'
'I know it', my brother declares.
'We will come around on Friday, my work leave ends on that day... Soo'
 Mum is ecstatic and can't stop smiling at my face. She's not impressed at all by the ring.
'What's the plan?', my mum wants to know everything, so I update her.
'Traditional in November and White In America'
'So, we will spend how much now?'
'I want an intimate one ooo, not gbogbo ero'
'Everyone is not gbogbo ero'
'How many then?'
'But family members alone are twenty five...'
'And mine thirty', my father said as he entered the room. I greet him and show him my ring.
'Usually, one meets the guy before one sees his family engagement ring'
'Daddy, you can tell'
'When do I meet this man that wants to steal my daughter away?'
'Saturday..'
  My Auntie announced. We will all be here, I have called Iya Bola. She will cater for the event'
 You have to give it to my Aunt, she was efficient. But I want my parents to feel much more special than the rest of the family. So, I whisper in mum's ears.
'Mummy, lets see you and Daddy on Wednesday?'
'Friday is better for your dad and I'
  My Auntie stretched her neck trying to decipher what I was whispering to my mum and asked.
'Or is Saturday too late?'
'It's fine Auntie', I tell her with a smile.
'So you are talking to me'
'Auntie, you are too aggressive, do you blame me?'
'See this child, I will always tell you the truth. Even if no one else does. I am like you, an emere'
'Auntie 'Abeg, I am a child of God'
'And he made all things, an emere is not a witch. She is a powerful woman whose life will always rock others and be talked about'
 She hugs me and and I resist but then I start to laugh.
'Like the Kardashians?', I ask.
'Who?'
 My crazy Auntie does not watch American tv, ask her who Fatiah Balogun is and she knows. She has a PhD in Yoruba movies. They get too scary for me, yet I can watch The Walking Dead. Another irony. Anyway,  she's family and as annoying as they are, we live with them.

      I drive to the cinema in Alausa Ikeja, the movie is half way through but it's fine.
I have a large bag with so many make up and clothes, the security guard let's me in. Inside, is a bag with shawama for Nnoye, Etim and I. Drinks also, if the cinema wants me to buy their food and drinks, then they should up their standards and of course, sell shawama.
 The movie Central Intelligence is so funny, I am laughing so much that I fall off my seat.  Henrik and I have to come back here and watch this movie. It's hilarious.
 We shop for wedding clutch bags and can only afford to buy two each. And at forty five thousand Naira a piece, the dash money was finished before I even got home.
    Outside we laugh and recount the spy movie scenes. But Nnoye is distracted and as I try to grab her phone, she hides it.
 Of course I snatch it, nonsense and ingredients.
But the picture is not exactly what I want to see. It's Athena holding Henrik's face, pleading and fighting for a love she has lost.
The comments threads dont help, someone jokes. And asks the dreaded question, if they were rekindling their love? And others say they were meant to be.
 I feel like the dusty old porcelain on my old shelf in my mother's house, in my former room. It's a porcelain house but built like a tea cup. The lid is on but I don't know if it will hold, as the trouble brews.
  My heart aches and I try hard to decipher the meaning of every touch, every gaze.
'Ade, you have the ring. You have won'
 It was an odd way to try to encourage me or lift my mood. But that's what and how Nnoye knew how to lift peoples mood. By thrashing others.
'Where is no winner in love, you are either alone or in love'
'I have been alone in love, so don't wish it for anyone. But it teaches you to recognize the signs'
'Like?'
'Like love completely before you end up in the friend zone'
'So i should enjoy it while it lasts'
'The courting and wooing is great. But the real you comes out when all that fades. It always does. Your job us too try to rekindle it and recognize when he isn't. Talk about it, then decide and act on it'
'Wise world'
'Everyone I didn't do when I had to the chance'
'We will both get there'
'Amen oo, amen'
 I hug her and Etim starts to cry, he is cranky.
'So, thanks for a lovely outing'
'Etim needs his evening bath or he can't sleep'
'Next time dear'

    Driving on thousands of uneven gravels tells me that I am home. No need to cook, or worry about room mates. The cool bungalow guest house is all mine.
  I sit on my sofa and suck on cold malteasers, until my air conditioning unit makes my toes start to freeze
 A long hot shower made me relax and when I realized that I had stayed too long and WAGS was about to start. I end the shower and pick a sexy silk lacy vest. Just for me.
  My doorbell rings and I look at the security screen and Henrik has a bouquet of red roses and the largest bottle of Bailey's Irish cream I've ever seen.
 I smile and grab a silk house coat and place it over me. I check that my wild hair is sexy and then open the door.
He gives me a peck and a side hug and I collect the fresh flowers.
'I don't even have a vase's
 He hands me a badly wrapped vase and I laugh.
'What are you watching?'
'WAGS, a reality show about wives and girlfriends'
'Cool'
'You dont by any chance know any NFL or Ice Hockey all star players?'
'Will my answer affect my chances of becoming your groom?'
  I laugh so hard and loud, it confused Henrik.
'Of course not'
'Then no'
'Come here'
 I hug him and kiss him and then I remembered one picture from the shareholders party.
'She's fine'
'How do you know for sure?'
'She said so'
'Good, so when am I meeting the family?'
'Wednesday'
'Great'
'And Friday..'
'Okay'
'And on Saturday'
'Really?'
'Better, mum and brother and then the entire can't
'Cool', because my parents want to meet you via Skype tomorrow'
'Wow, so we are doing this'
'Yes ooo', Henrik adds.
 I tickle him and we both laugh until the commercial is over.
'It's starting, it's starting'
 I say and he wraps his limbs around me and we cozy up and watch. This is going to be a beautiful weekend.
 And this relationship just passed its first test. I look forward to crushing all the challenges out there. Because this time, no matter what...

  I'm making it to the altar...



**Season 1, Episode 51**
**'ADE'S JOURNAL", 51, COPYRIGHT 2016**
**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE COPYRIGHT 2016**