Crows caw in the early morning from the peak of swaying trees fighting to shake off the annoying creatures. Bending and bowing hard, trying Nott to snap and watching as the birds take flight briefly and perch back on the frustrated tree. It's claws sink dee into hard rugged barks as rubbery goodness and rich sap SLI out and crawl down a contoured tree trunk slowly....
It's true what they say, your speak what weighs heavy on your mind and as much as you try to shake it off the thought floats away briefly but return's. I have gotten so use to wanting Frank that he has become that annoying flock of crows, snatching you from the peaceful claws of race of mind on a beautiful Saturday morning. Whose fault is this? Mine, right?
I know I am to blame and Henrik is right, I need to do something different and try once and for all to either accept or reject this my ex for good. We are meeting for breakfast and he picked the same hotel, his slaughter ground. He is excited and wants me to come up to his ugly room. Do I say yes, or do I say no?
Na die I dey.
I choose to meet at the restaurant and order chicken and potato chips. I don't want the cooking time to delay me. But delay me from what?
I hold the menu and realize the waiter is waiting. So I hand him the menu and add that the meal is for two. The restaurant is cold and I shivered. His warm hands touched mine and I flinched. Frank gave me a peck, like we never broke up and as if we were back to been a couple.
'Ade hi, we could have had this in my room'
I shook my head. Yea right, so that he would have a sex tape of me for life, no thanks.
'Why this place?'
'The owner is my friend, I loaned him money to buy the land'
'When?'
'Just as I finished my university, you know Flames'
I froze. That Randy, stuck up guy that mocked my relationship with Frank. He taunted and poked at me, saying at every chance that he didn't understand monogamy and that I was gullible to. He was right about Frank and I but he was cruel and was rumored to have pimped his university girlfriend for marks and better grades. We all suspected he was a member of a cult. But he could just have been mean and over confident.
'So you are a share holder here'
'No, just a regular'
'So you brought me to your slaughter ground'
'It was the closest and none of us could drive, we were both drink'
'What else did you do, film the entire frolicking session. Is that what turns you on now?'
Frank got uncomfortable and fidgets, he Unfolds the napkin and folds it back.
'Don't believe any lies about me'
'So it's true'
'Don't be ridiculous'
'Why?'
I was almost crying but stopped.
'Are you selling the videos to a porn site? Do you hate women that much? Have no ounce of decency left in you'
'Ade, dont talk like that. You don't know me'
'Exactly'
Our meal arrives and we both say nothing, we serve the meal and eat quietly.
'Ade, I have doubted myself for long and many of what I do, stems from my addiction's'
I raised my eyebrows and put a large cut piece of chicken in my mouth and chew for long.
Clearly, I am in love with an illusion of the past that never existed.
'So did you film us when we were....'
'Ade, I would never, that is more of what Flames would do'
'So you started it once we broke up'
'Henrik is manipulating you, look at me. I would never'
My mind was amazed at how well he stood by his lies. He had no clue I had seen the video and was sticking to his story.
'Well, nothing is hidden under the sun...'
'Ade, you are here. I am here, people have tried to poison my mind against you and now they are doing the same..'
I drop my fork and knife and fold my hands across my chest.
'How? You are the unfaithful one, the serial cheater, the pimp, the...'
'And you are a gold digger'
'Really, I didn't see you rejecting help and money from the so called gold digger'
'Ade, let's not fight'
'How is Khadijatu and your baby?'
'The baby is cute as hell but all that baby food and powder... I need a break'
I shake my head.
'Why are you lying?'
'What?'
'You always dreamed of having babies, want as many as your hands can count. Why are you trying to make it seem like you are unhappy'
'Why are you attacking every word I say?'
'Ade, what do you want? I'm a liar, I record my sex-car-pades, then why are you here?'
It was a good question and the answer was simple. I was afraid my relationship would crash and burn.
So like a like porcelain statue with angelic wings, I hold on to a false past, to the one constant disappointment in my life. The one man that takes as it is, no rules, no problems, no conditions. You could be single, engaged or married. He would accept me like that. He was my pathetic fall back guy. And he liked it.
'I just realized something, I don't even like you'
Frank grabs my hand and scrutinized my engagement ring.
'And yiu think I like you? I despise you, hate that Everytime I'm with any woman. I want her to be you, hate that I didn't give you the baby you wanted, early in our relationship...'
I roll my eyes at him.
'Frank, Abeg. I did not want your baby...'
'...And I'm the liar'
He was quiet and I searched my mind and memory.
'You wanted us to do it without protection and I had to prepare for the worst'
'As I recall, it was the best gift I could give you....'
'Abeg jare, after good sex, anybody would say anything. That does not count'
'It does'
'It was a lie, we were a lie'
'Last night was not a lie'
'Two nights ago you mean, don't mix your girls up'
Frank laughs.
'It's funny, right?'
'You know you will forever be mine and I, yours'
'Yep, me and about ten others'
'Come upstairs with me, let's just do this'
I yank my hands away.
'Everyone knows we are in each other's head and body, we want this. They can feel it, see it... Did Henrik break up with you too, no man wants this kind of competition'
Frank points at himself and I stand up, the arrogance was a big turn off. I squeezed my face in disgust and he knows he has fine too far. I dab my mouth and then stand up, but Frank has me in his arms. He was rocking me and hugging me. I was frowning and disgusted and moved my face away from him.
'Ade, I'm sorry'
'It's fine'
He tried to kiss me and the food races back to my mouth and I convulse a bit. Frank rips away from me and I try to throw up in the napkin and fail.
'Don't do that again'
He was watching me, more worried I would throw up on him than about my safety.
'Thank you Frank for making this easy'
He watched me walk away and I smiled at myself because i was sure that I was no longer in love with Frank.
I drive to Henrik's place and there is a car there. I am afraid it is Athena's and almost walk away. But I know it's best to face the truth. So I shut my car doors and March up to the entrance of his home. It's been three days and two nights since we last talked and I was afraid I had lost him for good.
Henrik owned the door shirtless and I scrutinized his beaut bare chest with nice sexy hair on it. It felt good and he did smile at me, so there's hope.
We didnt hug or kiss and thank God he did not stop me from walking into his house.
It was not Athena but one of his lawyers.
They round up their talk and he leaves and Henrik sits opposite me and says nothing.
I fall back into the couch and exhale out, it released the tension in my body but not in the room. When I open my eyes he is not there, I panic and then feel his hands on my arm.
'I'm here'
'Are you?'
The silence got awkward pretty fast and I knew I had to do or say something.
'No'
We both say at the same time and then stop.
'I've been in love with a memory, and the worst part is that the memory too is not real. It's just me been scared of failing again and in my awkwardness, I picked the very rock bottom guy only because I've been with him for long.'
I stand up and pave up and down the room. 'Nothing was real, nothing is good about him, he records himself having sex with all sorts and probably watches the video with his creepy friend Flames. Who calls himself Flames?'
Henrik was smiling at me.
'What?'
'Just, nothing'
'Please tell me'
'Are you with him?'
'Good no, he's horrible and terrible and stuck up. I could never make a mistake like that'
I heard myself and quickly added.
'Ever again'
We were quiet and then I asked.
'Will they get away with what they are doing? All those girls, I would have been one of them if you didn't...'
Henrik pulls me to him and side hugs me.
'I'm so sorry, I was all confused but I'm no longer confused'
Henrik shakes his head.
'You dont believe me'
'I know you want this to work, but this Frank thing...'
'Is over'
'Are you sure?'
'I am cock sure'
Henrik chuckled.
'I miss your laughter'
'I missed you'
'How long before...'
'A month before Ajoke's wedding, she's a September bride and Celine's in France and mine in Novemberrrr'
'Two weddings, one in Lagos Nigeria and another in....'
Seriously, I had no clue.
Henrik was waiting and I giggled.
'Ade, where in America do I live?'
I cracked my head and tried to remember and could not. I think he said Delaware or Texas.
Henrik folds his hands and waits for my answer.
'Errrr, Texas's and California?'
Henrik was not smiling, I think I failed.
He nods his head.
'Yes, and?'
'I've tried jare, two out of three'
'Two out of two you mean'
I smack him lightly on his bare chest.
'You have wanted to do that all morning'
I stand up and he pulled me back and gives me a warm kiss. I watch his eyes and kiss him back.
'So are we kissing all day or going out?'
'Need to see Ajoke and Celine to catch up andThe twins if course'
'Good'
Henrik pulls me up and drags me to then bedroom.
'Where are we going?'
'To shower'
'Together?'
Henrik lifts me up and puts me on his shoulders and I laugh like I'm been tickled.
'Stop'
He opens the shower and the ice cold water makes me squeal. We both laugh and fall into a squat. I am shivering and he opens the hot water and we kiss Passionately.
It was a unique experience and ww are cozy and feel closer than ever.
It was evening before we had any energy to go anywhere.
Henrik drove me to the hospital and my girls hug me like I have been away forever. Henrik gets a phone call and tries to excuse himself.
I stop him, give him a long passionate kiss and let my hand squeeze him very close to me.
'No you can go'
I said feeling very Powerful and sexy.
And watched him blow me a kiss and then leave.
Celine shakes my back hard and brought me straight back to reality.
'What did you do that for?'
'You slept with him'
I ignored her and went to the twins.
'Hi there, Hash and Hosh, Auntie 'Ade is here'
'Sinful Auntie Ade you mean'
'Celine stop'
'Gist me'
'Twins, when are you coming home?'
Ajoke rushes to my side.
'Next week, two weeks before my wedding'
Ajoke shrieks and the twins jerk.
'Sssh, don't scare them'
'Mummy is excited'
She quickly adds and the twins, seem calmer than before. When I was through with making baby sounds and watching them react through the looking glass.
I turned to my eager friends and walk to Ajoke's bed side and have a seat.
'What the hell is going on?'
Ajoke asked, looking confused.
'Ade, talk to us'
Celine said, rocking me and as anxious as a puppy.
'Where do I start?'
I say, not sure how much information they need to know.
'You sound like everything happened, I'm just glad your ex is finally out of the picture'
This Ajoke is a witch, it's like she knows.
'Which ex? Mr. H?'
I roll my eyes at Celine, yep I would never go back to him but what's her own?
'You went back to Frank, didn't you?'
Ajoke sounded disappointed in me and I felt guilty.
'I caught Henrik with Athena'
'The same Henrik you just kissed? I'm confused'
Celine days and sits on the bed with Ajoke.
'I met my ex and almost...'
'Almost what?'
Celine screamed and Ajoke clapped her hand three good times.
'That's not the worst, he records women he sleeps with'
'Who, Frank?'
Ajoke was confused.
'Yes, but...'
I tried to explain and Ajoke cut me off.
'You found out how?'
'Henrik, he expected me to betray him and had Frank followed and knew about... So got my tape'
'My God', Celine missed sitting on the bed and fell. I rushed and helped her up and Ajoke too, but her c-section stitches stopped her and she holds it in place.
'I'm sorry'
'So how did you two make up, I mean you and Henrik'
The tension got to me and I aced the room and scratched my head.
'We broke up and said I should go and get over Frank'
'Did you?'
'I had breakfast with him today but he lied and was so stuck up. It was repulsive'
I was panting and angry.
'He should not get away with this, I mean filming his sex... Oh God, Ade did you?'
'No, I was drink'
'You dont get drink'
'Tipsy, angry, horny, call it what you want'
'So what now?'
Celine asked.
'Frank and his friend that owns the hotel are under investigation. We are done'
'I hope so ooo'
Ajoke announced with hee hands raised up to the heaven.
'So, you slept with Henrik?'
'Showered'
'What do you mean by showered?'
'He got all frisky with me and carried me into the shower'
Ajoke adjusts and leans forward towards me.
'Which your clothes on?'
'Then we got all touchy, feeling and all'
'So you did'
'No, but I don't think I can hold back anymore'
'Good, it's this abstaining that has got you into trouble'
'Don't listen to Ajoke, you can do without'
'Why should she? She is getting married soon'
'Ajoke don't encourage her'
'I'll do what I want, so let's just drop the topic'
It was getting all messy and watching my friends argue about me having sex or not, was not cool at all at all.
'So what about your French bobo?'
'He had not seen you in two days via Skype, so was wondering if you were alright or not'
'I'm fine, just drama prone. And I don't know how I got this way'
'It needs to stop, you know'
Ajoke was right, this back and forth had to stop. It was disrupting my life.
'Tina is squatting with Nnoye'
'Which Tina?', 'Ajoke had no clue.
'Mr. H's Tina?'
Celine figured it out quick.
'For how long?'
'A week I think, and she's going back to her ex'
'Na wa'
Celine was as shocked as I was.
Ajoke fluffs up her pillows and taps both sides beside her.
'Girls, we need time with ourselves. No man, no distractions, just us'
I sluggishly join her by her right hand side and Celine on her left.
'We can't leave the kids', I grumbled.
'Of course not, we will bring the party here'
She sounds really positive and I thought about it.
'Now?'
'We will order pizza, the best old school pounded yam and efo riro romancing juicy fat Panla...'
'Which cup cakes', I add a little excited.
'Bunny ice cream'
Celine's suggestions made sense and we all start to make calls and place orders. We sing and dance and laugh and I am in complete heaven. Our food arrives and we eat and catch fun and sing until we got loud and sshhshhed ourselves.
There was a cool knock on the door and I opened it.
I got the shock of my life...
Baratu and Mr. H, hand in arm laughing as i stood there speechless and frozen. Unsure of what to do or how to react.
Who would?
**Season 1, Episode 61**
**"ADE'S JOURNAL 61, COPYRIGHT 2016**
**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE, COPYRIGHT 2016**
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