Bound to repeat the mistakes of the past, forming patterns repeated and cast on the shores of time. Wiped clean by cloudy waves, soaked deep by tainted memories. All filled with promises that it would never happen again. Promise's of clear bitter experience that i swore would never resurface. Bouncing off the whimsical winds, rammed hard into solid roots. Holding onto flexible arrays of slender palm trees coughing and swaying until they stop and stand back upright and watched their audience watching them. That's how I feel right now, soaked and Reminiscing On Many Unsaid Words.
So I am here, once again.
Standing in line and thinking of doing the wrong thing again. Because it makes sense and because I care too much what other people think. Not surprisingly, I care about strangers watching me receive this phone call and I seriously don't want my story leaving this public airport lounge.
'Ade'
It sounds as if Henrik was asking me a question, without asking. Honestly, I'm tired of this idiotic man, standing behind me, affecting and destabilizing my relationships. He is my past but how I handle this, will determine whether he makes Henrik my past or not.
You now understand my dilemma, right? So I answer, with zero excitement and eyes glued to my front
'Guess who is on the line, behind Celine?'
I could feel Franks eyes on my back and heard his girlfriend Helen, say my name and point at me. Shameless people, gossiping about me with me inches away.
Not giving a damn about them and ignoring Celine's wide eye signal..
'Nnoye?'
Henrik said, expecting my former friend to be behind me.
'No'
I almost whispered and then I heard him pause and then say and then echo his name, the name of my fake fiance.
'Frank, Frank?'
Hoards of emotion, clouds the sole between us and then Henrik quickly added.
'You gave him money for his child and he is traveling out of the country with it?'
I did not expect that anwser or question, I can't tell which it is.
'No. It's, she wouldn't do that'
This is ridiculous, so I step away from the line and walk far away from them and explained to him as I did.
'He is traveling with Helen?'
'You former work mate?
'I know, her boyfriend sorry Aristo gave her money for first class and she used it to buy tickets for the two of them...'
'To Paris, wait how did you know?'
'She reassured him on the phone that she bought first class ticket, Celine and i heard..'
'So they can hear you?'
I think Henrik was feeling awkward about the entire situation.
'No, you don't gossip about people in front of them. I walked far away to give you the gist. At least the rest of it'
Unsurprisingly, he was laughing and probably shaking his head.
'Ade just come home'
'I will, my scrumptious Henrik. Oh Celine is here and signalling she's about to leave. Say bye bye'
My dear friend collects the phone and then I watch her glow. Celine laughed and announced, she's going to Pierre to meet her love who isn't expecting her. For a moment, my heart skipped.
What if she meets him with another woman? My face must have changed because she hugged me.
'Don't miss me too much, Skype with me more than you do with Ajoke. No cheating ooo'
I rolled my eyes at her and then we laugh and hugged. As we approach her departure line, where only those with boarding pass could pass through. Celne nodged me and puckered her lips at my former friends. Helen looked back at me and eyed me from head to toe and hugged him by his waist. Celine caught her in the act and pinched me.
'See mumu'
Only Celine could pull off that kind of mockery and then he looked back at me. The man that used to be mine, Frank kissed Helen. There was no emotion left to feel, just a blank empty me watching a blank man that could never genuinely love anyone. Celine pulled me from the very unappealing scene.
'We traveling on first class should not be here'
She hugged me and walked to the front and then blew me a kiss. I blew mine back and walked away. Who has time for fakeness?
The weekend caught up with me like magic. I have pitched to fifteen companies and all of them said the dollar exchange was making business bad. So no ad campaign needed, did that detract me from my pitching to twenty companies per week?
No, in fact. The rejection was honing my skills and a pattern was emerging. Beat down companies knew themselves and thriving companies also knew themselves.
And the referrals said it all, so I had an index drawn up. It states who, where and what their priorities are. Those tired of the business and wanted to shutdown, reflected it by complaining. Those who asked why, how and spoke in future tense were better candidate's. Still, prospecting taught me to recognize this, but closing the sale had other factors involved. Mostly referrals from successful ad campaigns I have accomplished. And all said that I catered more to individuals and tagged me the one who puts a human angle to business. It's not what I wanted right now but it's what I am. I wanted to brand large companies but I only had experience in branding individuals and associating them with large companies. It was a strange reality, but a good one. So I have to change my strategy.
I am in the business of putting a human angle to business. It sounds awesome to me, my job was to make it sound awesome to my clients. Brand try to cater to many and I'm saying cater through one. I think I'm over thinking this.
'You are'
I didn't know I said that out loud, or that Henrik was watching me.
'My head hurts from writing and rewriting my elevator pitch and I still don't have what I want'
I grumbled and collapsed backwards into his Warm embrace.
'You are cold'
Henrik grabbed the air conditioning unit remote control to turn it off. I stopped him by holding the hand with the remote and placing it back on the table.
'I can't be hot with this headache'
'Ade, you need another kind of headache'
I tilt my head backwards so that the tip of my head is on his ribcage. And my lips are in full view and he kissed my upside down forehead. It was funny and I think I almost choked, so I sit up.
'What's up?"
I could tell that something was wrong.
'Lunch'
'Good, I need to be far away from work right now'
'With Daniel and...'
'Nnoye, no freaking way'
I stand up and March to the fridge, I need a sugar rush right now. I bend and search and really hope Celine didn't drink up all my orange juice before leaving for France.
'It's in the freezer'
Henrik says and I squat and find the pack of orange juice. It's frozen, so it comes out like slush. I pour it all, into the cup and take a chunk out of it. My nose baths in frozen orange and I wipe it clean with the back of my hand. Then wash my hands and grab an ice cream spoon.
Henrik was smiling and I was frowning, I can't believe that it's been days and Daniel Ojora has no clue that his girlfriend physically attacked me.
'So, are you game?'
'You are enjoying this'
'I want to see how Daniel handles this'
'So you can smear it in his face that yeayyyy, I got the girl'
Henrik chuckled.
'What if I grab her and toss her over the table, eh?'
'You wouldn't'
'I am aggressive, I hope you are not in denial about that'
'I know you are, but you wouldn't'
'How do you know?'
'You are also an image person'
'I pity you'
'So you will fight in public?'
'To protect myself, yes'
'I don't believe you'
'Then you don't know me, did I tell you about the computer village incident?'
'Thats different'
'How?'
'He stole your receipt and accused you of stealing your own laptop'
'I didn't fight him, he claimed to be a policeman and I looked all around me at the crowd and acted. I asked him for his identity card'
'It makes sense'
'And pocketed the fake ID with no police emblem'
'And?'
'And he raised an alarm to scare me and I raised an alarm to expose him'
'Ade you didn't fight'
'I raised an alarm and it worked, my only regret is that I gave him back his fake identity card'
'It's a crime syndicate you could not have exposed just like that'
'All faker's should be exposed'
'Are we still talking about fake police men or...'
'Fake friends'
'So I should call Daniel, and cancel the lunch date?'
Somehow, I feel like this is the outcome Nnoye wants. To brand me the one not making an effort, the one uncomfortable with her dating Daniel, when really the desperation is all from her.
'Don't cancel, I will go with my boo to lunch'
'Should I be worried?'
Henrik was right to be worried, but I smiled and answered.
'My dear, you have nothing to worry about'
The weather is hot and I am glad we are in a very cool restaurant. I just hope we are not early. I want to walk in with Henrik, be admired and envied as I smile and cat walk towards them in my body glove nude off shoulder cat suit and bronze stiletto heels and matching bag. My hair is in a bun on top of my head and my bronze cat eyes make up, makes my chocolatey even skin pop. I looked like I was going on a date with Autumn, Olivia and Natalie on an episode of WAGS.
Daniel's eyes lit up when he spotted me and Nnoye frowned. She had on a free red chiffon shirt blouse, with long sleeve and black and red shoes and bag. I could feel her eyes on my jewelry, on my pearls. They were from Henrik and massive, the exact statement jewelry that just made it all come together beautifully.
'Ade, you look good'
'You are not bad yourself'
Daniel gives me a peck and expected I do the same with Nnoye. I almost didn't, but no need to create unnecessary drama.
'Lovely jewelry'
Her Lagos boyfriend said, as he noticed that Nnoye could not take her eyes off my pearls.
'Thank you, Henrik has impeccable taste. All the men in my life give me jewelry, I guess they know I'm precious like that'
I laughed and watched Daniel get uncomfortable and Nnoye feel bad. Henrik pinched me and I give him a stern look.
'I'm kidding, what kind of woman measures a relationship by the jewelry she gets? I knew I loved Henrik long before I got them'
'You mean just as you got them, you agreed to make it official'
Henrik broke the ice and we all laughed and I slapped his back playfully.
'Then I need to up my game'
Daniel says and takes Nnoye's hands. He was showing affection I have never noticed before now.
'Maybe it's all the wedding's around me, I'm beginning to consider it'
I was shocked by the words coming out from Daniel Ojora's lips. And from the look on everyone on the table, I was not the only one.
'I know I don't show it, but I notice things'
Daniel's tone says it all and Nnoye starts to adjust uneasily on her seat and I roll my eyes childishly at her.
'Did you two fight?'
Our sugar tongued, Lagos play boy was so blunt, it took me by surprise.
Henrik leaned back and had the one annoying smile on his face that I never dreamed was possible.
'Yes Ade, did you two fight?'
Why are these men making this, my fault?
'Daniel, ask your paranoid girlfriend'
She was lucky, the word that came to my mouth was actually desperate. But I know how easily words can be minced and twisted to mean worse than they actually mean.
'I overreacted...'
Nnoye tried to make light of the situation and I chuckled. Henrik grabbed me under the table and I gave him a look.
'Henrik, let's let them talk first'
He dropped his table napkin and motioned Henrik to stand up.
'You are on your own'
Henrik whispered in my ears and kissed me, laughing. I tried to hold him back and stop him but failed. I did not feel like sitting there, waiting for a fake apology. Quickly I stand and search the room for the rest room and find it.
I was in front of the mirror adjusting my bun when she joined me.
'Ade I'm sorry'
'You tricked Daniel into inviting us for lunch'
'You know you can keep a malice longer than any one I know'
'You lie, you are the most selfish malicious person I know'
'Ade please, I agree that I panicked. Daniel confirmed he gave the phone to Henrik'
'Why do you even bother?'
'With what?'
'Why do you want us to be friends, when you clearly can't handle it?'
'I want to be your Friend, but I could never live up to your standards'
'Please Nnoye, stop making excuses'
'You have everything and so much more, I just want some'
'..At my expense?'
'I'm sorry I will always be paranoid about your friendship with Daniel. I will always want to have the friendship you, Celine and Ajoke have. It survives everything and I always wanted your life'
At this junction, I feel the smile playing on my face. I am flattered beyond words but what does this mean? Will she always be that horrible friend, waiting for you to make a mistake? Should I just close this chapter for good.
In the meantime, I thought about how all of this had played out. I have walked out of a possible make up session. Childishly, ignored and pointed at Nnoye's faults and even taunted her with my ability to attract gifts from men without asking.
This does not look good, at all at all.
In fact, I feel as if Nnoye just put me in a tight spot as part of her own crooked chess game.
And now that i know, what am I supposed to do?
I mean, what would you do if you are in my shoes.
**Season 1, Episode 75**
**"ADE'S JOURNAL" 75, COPYRIGHT 2016**
**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE, COPYRIGHT 2016**
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