A bleak sunset reflects over the sad murky lagoon, infested with shrubs and mangrove, stuck and rooted behind my mingy home. Time is slowly but swiftly moving and drawing close, the hour I dread. A wise woman would escape and hide but a lonely one has no where to go to. Should my home be a source of worry, should I not just pack up and leave? What a wasted life I have lived, with so many opportunities come and gone. I should have taken them all, now I fear it's too late. I may not survive this night of terror. If only I had accepted the offer from that randy man, my former boss, maybe I would have earned enough to escape this hell hole. Instead, I was laid off, sacked, along with those that the company did not need anymore. I am a good girl, the good girl who can't afford to live in a good place. Now, I wait and listen. Ironically, not even my neighbors lazy noisy dog barked. The noisy German Shepherd was warned or drugged into submission, the last of its litter. The lone survivor of these regular and embarrassing onslaught. Isn't fear just the strongest tool in the world? It makes a mouse of a brutal dog and a chicken of an eagle. Even the security men are quiet. The vigilante's make shift gong, the rim of a tyre, hanging by a metal thread and slowly dangling and swaying, has seized. On a normal night, at the stroke of midnight a metal rod would hit the rim and reverberate deep into the night. Not tonight though, not a single sound escaped and echoed all around. It's past midnight and in all my six years living here, this has never happened before. Suddenly, there is a ruckus and at first, it mimics crowd of pilgrims out to convert people in an entourage. But I know better, no good is coming from the noise outside. For two days now, I've been waiting. Two nights of mayhem that my mind has conjured up. Not tonight, tonight is real. The screams of the poor vigilante fills the air, as his shakabula releases three gun shots. There is a retaliation of bullets, I count ten and cover my mouth and cry. Million Boys Robber's Are Intimidating Residents Now, yet no one is doing anything. Two days ago, they left a note on my dilapidated car. The car that the shaft is condemned and the tyre's are old. No body suspected that of course, but spotting the note made me scream. A crowd gathered as I read the words that scare me.
'We are coming, prepare your cash, phones and valuables. Do not be home if you have nothing of value or you will loose your life'
Did I report this to the police? Yes.
Did security presence increase? No. Instead, those that could leave this part of Ajegunle, have done so. I have no family to run to and my salary of twenty thousand Naira is currently on my table. Waiting to be extorted away by hoodlum's, by young lazy ass thieves. Unfortunately for my friend, she arrived just ten minutes ago. She has ten thousand naira on her and hides her phone in the door compartment of my broken down fridge. There is no escaping these men that number up to thirty, wielding machete's, daggers and guns; Shooting sporadically into the air as they approach my home. My mingy apartment, the only thing I can afford. The sad realization hit me, that my home is only a paper house, easily penetrated by thieves, liars and ridiculously expensive landlords. Where else am I going to go to, now that my hard earned cash has been yanked from my hand's? Taking me back to zero...
'It's true, it's God that saved me'
'Wetin, you self they find up and down?', I asked Nnoye who was still visibly shaken.
'I went for a wedding ooo, and remembered my friend Juliet. You remember her, quiet born again sister in the university'
'I do, poor girl'
'Me, I hid my phone, where will I get money to buy another iPhone in this economy?'
'You self, just thank God you two are safe'
'I thank God oooo'
'Where is Etim?'
I had to ask, all the latest kidnapping is just too scary.
'With my mother, thank God'
'So, the police knows? Are you sure?'
I find it hard to believe that this Juliet informed the police and yet nothing happened.
'They patrolled the area for a while, but the armed Robber's came two days later than expected'
'You mean that they entered your house'
I did not want to believe this story, it sounds too home video like.
'We were under the bed shaking and gave the landlord our cash. They knew I was in Juliet's house. But thank God they had no clue that I was a celebrity'
I almost choked on my iced orange drink, did she just refer to herself as a celebrity. This my friend is high on herself.
'I am, every week, there is a story about me on twitter or the national magazine's. No just gossip magazines'
My question is, how they keep getting information about Nnoye. I smell a rat.
'In fact, today's papers has the news'
'Nnoye, don't lie. You give them the need'
I accused her and quickly glanced through the article. It described Nnoye as a Lagos big girl, visiting her old schoolmate.
'You didn't give them Juliet's name'
'So that they know we are friends abi? I'm sharper than that, besides Juliet is not a celebrity. The girl too dey fear'
I almost swallowed an I've cube from laughing.
'Abeg Nnoye, don't kill me with laughter'
She poured herself a drink and clawed all the ice cubes into her glass.
'But they didn't touch you'
'For why? No way, but they beat up Juliet's neighbor'
'Why?'
'She had no money and struggled with them'
'This is bad'
'You dont have to tell me twice, i will never set foot in my friends house. And will deny this report as false '
'So why tell the media to report the news?'
'So that my name remains on the lips of my fan's'.
I disagree with her but keep quiet when I see her hundred thousand Twitter followers. I have just three hundred, this babe is doing something right.
I was kind of impressed, until I saw my name in the magazine.
'You didn't'
She pretends not to know what im talking about.
'Nnoye, why did you tell them to report that I am back in the country'
'As my best friend...'
'I do not ever, tell people about my location. This I can't accept'
'Don't worry, next time...'
'This is not a joke, if you ever leak to your paparazzi about my location. I will cut you off'
'Ade, you too dey vex'
I fold my hands over my heaving breasts and she can tell I am not amused.
'No wahala, I said I've heard'
Surprisingly, I am still mad at Nnoye. How could she sell me out like that?
'Are you going to the art exhibition with this attitude?'
Henrik was right to ask and to try to get me into a better mood.
'She will sell information about me to stay relevant'
'Now you know', Henrik snapped at me and tried to adjust his tie for the Seve time.
His mood deflates mine and mine his. Someone has to change the tempo.
'I'm sorry I snapped at you, but you have been complaining all day about'
I walk up to him and fix his tie and give him a blank look.
'But you fixed your tie yourself before we got married'
'I know, I just like you fussing over me'
It made me laugh and he spins me around.
'I don't mean to switch teams but right now. This new girlfriend is what we need'
'So you are team Opeyemi already'
'I am team, peace of mind', Henrik corrects and grabs his car keys.
Finding a parking spot was difficult and when eventually we did, I was relieved. Although, walking in my stilettos on sinking beach sand was not fun.
The first painting my eyes caught, looked familiar. It was a distant girl on a beach chair, looking dazed as her boyfriend tossed her phone in a blue sea. The sea was detailed but the couple had no face.
'Is that us?'
I whispered, not sure if I was or not.
'I call it the pest, it's supposed to be a holiday without technology. And the girlfriend is horrified by the idea'
The artist was soft spoken and carried us on a journey. I nod my head and shake it at the same time. And I thought it was all about me.
Daniel Ojora joins us and we all hug and officially meet.
'Have you seen her interpretation of you two?'
Daniel's question made us look around and search.
'You are looking at it'
I stared at Opeyemi and wonder why she tried to make me think otherwise.
'Thats the latest interpretation of this beautiful honeymoon'
'I knew it was me', I announced and laughed.
The bright lights from the flash, made me realize we were been photographed.
'Who else is here?', Henrik asked.
I was pinched on my waist and I know only one person that does that.
Ajoke screeched and we hugged and almost danced.
'Where are the twins?'
Bala had them both and posed for a picture.
'This your friend wants the twins to bond with only her'
'Thats not true'
Ajoke didn't argue.
'He said he will carry them today, only when they want breast milk, are they allowed back in my arm's'
'And you agreed?'
'It's just for today. Come. Let us girls take cozy, sexy pictures'
'Why?'
'Because, I am team Opeyemi'
'What did..'
'Don't mention her name. Just enjoy everything'
All Ajoke's plans worked, because all the papers and social media featured us. Nnoye keeps calling me but I do not pick her call.
Actually, I need a break from her, right now. Do you ever feel like, you need a break from Friends?
**Season 1, Episode 91**
**"ADE'S JOURNAL", 91, COPYRIGHT 2016**
**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE, COPYRIGHT 2016**
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