The frothing water looks beautiful, as the yatch slices deep on the surface of a beautiful sea. The Atlantic Ocean meets an untamed Lagoon as life thrives and seizes at the same time. I Stretch and pull at straws, as quicksands tiny pebbled claws and cut at me and pull me down at dawn. It won't be long now, everything will go dark and then finally, I'm done. What went wrong, was I naive to have dreamed so big? To want to live my life my way? I guess I was a little silly too. A young graduate that dreamed that I would get a high paying job in months. That did not happen and my poor parents tried to help me. But I was too far gone in dreaming and wishing and then the mental abuse started. Time is quickly ticking away, you have wasted time and failed. Who says that? Who sees your hard work and cuts down at your roots? Who sees you trying and says give up. None of them admitted to billing me into this depression, the fault is mine they all say. And add that I don't have any emotional intelligence. Na wa ooo, I don't conc myself with their lives and yet, somehow they find me, find time to find me. Then pick on me, compare me to my siblings, my dad at my age and call me selfish. I barely make the rent, the horrid place I live in that the landlord hoards water. He has a borehole yet the pump spoils every two weeks. So I buy water. This morning, after brushing my teeth I noticed dancing red short worms in the water. I am speechless and dress up for the day. The freezer is smelling, the power supply was absent so all the food I bought to save money has spoilt. Ten thousand Naira, gone down the drain. If I stay and clean it up, I would be late for work. Besides the landlord does not want my bin full. I do feel like I'm in a prison, yet everyone tells me to be grateful. My girlfriend's number is switched off. She won't talk to me anymore and blames me for wasting her years and not marrying her. How can I? The last time I collected my mingy salary was two months ago. I heard she has transferred out of my work place and has a new boyfriend. Barely one week after our breakup, she even unfriended me on Facebook. My boss is calling me and I sigh heavily. There's supposed to be a meeting this morning before work. We used to be friends until his boss compared me to him and suggests I was on a fast track. That was the end, he would not stop verbally bullying me. It was between getting to work before work for my boss or getting water for my house for the week. My choice did not make things any better. I got an email and see the subject. A query for my absence, the old me would have panicked. But this new me, knows that queries can be answered and defended. It's such a full day and the driver who is my friend, knocks on my gate. He was going to kill himself for not having a job and I offered him fifteen from my salary to drive me to work everyday and escape the wrath of his hardworking wife. He was dedicated but other reason, my boss hates me. That he could not afford a driver and I had one. But I was him, I was that frustrated guy that tried to commit suicide. So I had to try to save him and it's the only thing I have done in six years that made me happy. My boss is calling me and my work friend just liked a picture of my ex and her new boyfriend. He just proposed and she accepted. I sigh again, feeling this sinking feeling. My pastor called me, he tried to encourage me and I just brush his positive words aside as my driver drives me over Third Mainland Bridge. I'm pressed and I beg him to stop, very unlike me. I don't ever deface and perform indecent acts like this, but my rapid heart beat and swooning head makes me open the car door. My driver slams the brakes and then parks properly. I stare at the Lagoon and think of how lucky the water is. Wild, evaporated, salty and fresh it just keeps existing. I am tired and look over the edge and climb. I hear my driver scream and the tears of my mother. It's the past years she would shed for me, I won't disturb anyone anymore. My boss will write an ode to me, my landlord would say I was a good tenant and my family would put me on that pedestal that they never did. I won't be here though, I will finally be at peace. Only I'm not.....
Celine admits to been suicidal, for the first time since we have been friends. Because if that her tout boyfriend that used to physically and verbally abuse her. It was news to us and she says she can never forget.
'What about your belief about going to hell if you commit suicide?'
Ajoke asks.
'When I was already in Hell's, Celine adds.
'Really?' I could not believe she was.
Celine seemed so put together, so in control.
'My spirit was broken and I had no one to tell, I was ashamed I was an abused victim. Didn't you feel like that with Frank?'
Celine's question was harmless and I understood her plight back then.
'My dear, I was angry all the time, never suicidal. I wanted to beat someone u and was just an angry, very antisocial woman. But never suicidal, I was not abused,just lied to'
I was thinking about my situation back then and comparing it to hers. It was different and I could talk to Khadijatu. Even though she was a fake friend, sleeping with my fake fiance back then.Sometimes I remember her and the child shehadfirFrank. I even feel like calling her, but how do you call someone that I introduced you to a man she is sleeping with. And allows you, her best friend get engaged to him? We were never friends, I was always her competition. And if Frank had been sincere, I would eventually have caught them having an affair. The entire situation was disgusting and I flinched.
Henrik squeezed my hand and it reassured me that I was not alone. I smiled at him as we drive closer to my parents house.
'Ladies, please let's keep talking to each other sincerely. And pray for me and Pierre ooooo', Celine screamed and I laughed.
'Amen oooo', Ajoke adds.
Her voice made Henrik laugh.
'Henrik, so you are listening to our conversation', Ajoke adds.
We were in my car and ipicked he call on speaker in my car.
'Hello ladies', Henrik adds.
They eco and grumble and promise to get his own gist too.
And for the first time in a long time, the thought crossed my mind.
What if Henrik was living a lie with me?
The look on my face, gave me up and he lifts my hand and kisses it.
'Ade, we are solid as a rock. You are mine and I am yours and our lineage will forever be blessed'
It was sweet of him to notice and he plants a kiss on my flushed face. The car behind us horns and then overtakes us.
'Stypid people, you won't move your nonsense car from the road', and the raging driver drove off.
I chuckled and Henrik shakes his head and drives onwards.
My parents were thrilled to see me and my mum was gushing so much over my baby bump. I actually got embarrassed and my dad noticed and tells her to let me rest.
I was smiling and happy that my Auntie was absent.
We all enter the house and gush over ourselves. The food in the kitchen smelled so inviting and I had to say so.
'Mummy, what did you make?'
'For you and my son, vegetable and amala'
I stood up to get some for myself and then my auntie walks in with two trays for Henrik and I.
I looked at the plate and gagged, my mum didn't make it. My Aunt did. I tried to hold back the vomit but could not. The image of the wall gecko rushed into my head and I threw up on the tray and my Auntie.
Then ran to the bathroom to finish up, exhausted after it all, I sit on the floor and could smell the bleach.
My mum splashes cold water on my face and washed my face, like she did when I was in primary school. I was eight again and loving the attention my mum gave me.
She helps me up and back to the living room.
My auntie had showered and changed into new clothes and Herik was mopping up the floor I messed up. He was smiling at me, round of me I think. I could tell he was glad I had messed up the meal and I chuckled.
My Auntie was not amused.
'Eeee maa bi nuuu', I apologized to her laughing.
'Awa naa ti seee, we too were once pregnant. It's alright'
I'm glad she is taking it well, it's a win for us and now we can all relax.
I update my parents about my babies and watched Henrik watch my Auntie watching me. Even my mum noticed and asked.
'Ki lon SE le, sister mi?'
'Let Ade tell you about the wall gecko'
'You an this wall gecko shaaaaa', my mum said trying to end the talk.
'Your friend eat the wall gecko, right? The one that loves you the most. She has taken your pain and fought the battle for you. Pray for her, her battle is just starting'
The eerie silence that ensued, scared me. And Henrik stands up.
'Mummy, daddy, Ade and I need to go. She has a doctor's appointment', Henrik was pissed with the entire situation.
I give him a look and he ignores me, he didn't even let us stay up to thirty minutes.
My parents hug us and agree that the doctor's appointment was very important.
Inside the car, Henrik was boiling and swelling up.
'Henrik, every family has that weird family member....'
'Until she leaves your parents house, we are no longer going back there'
'What?', he can't be serious.
'Ade, I'm serious. I won't allow that mental abuse and brainwashed continue. This cat and dog mopping around, has to stop'
Henrik just gave a very annoying order, making him sound like a typical husband.
Wonders Shall Never End.
What am I supposed to say or do in this situation? Abeg, help me out ooooo.
**Season 2, Episode 11**
**"ADE'S JOURNAL", 11 COPYRIGHT 2017*
**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE, COPYRIGHT 2017**
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