The cocoon is cracked and I struggle to spread my wings and fly. But first, I must escape my own self imposed prison. This butterfly must sprout her wings and fly. If only, this horrid fly would just stop feeding on my life line. His useless lies are epic, he feigned and pretended to have the wingspan I have. To be a stretched out Beautiful butterfly, instead he is a grubby old fly filled with magots. Claimed to love me and yet chained me to a monster. To the beast coughing out carbon monoxide and electrical energy, all vibrating and making me afraid of what might happen. Just like a rabbit, stuck in an open empty carton. Free to escape before now, but I am stuck now. Doomed to forever live in fear. But sometimes, a ray of hope shows up and a voice speaks up. Catching this rotten soul feeding on my hope and love and converting it to a moist pile of rubbish. The generator sparks jolt me back to reality and the fear that I may rip open the fuel tank. Because I am struggling to break free. So, I stop trying to escape. I stop fighting and start crying. My wings shove out of the crusty cocoon and I wince in pain. Cramps, fear and disbelief fill my mind. I see the neighbors peep and stare in disbelief at my predicament. Yet they do nothing, say nothing. I am a victim of my desperate mind, plagued by a manufactured love. A false ideal, a fake union. Time was against me, so I said yes to the next man that proposed. He was nothing like the man I could live with, angry all the time and violent towards his siblings. His sister received a blow in the stomach for stealing the little time I spent in his family house with her. The scene was Shocking and her cries and words, echoed and hunted my troubled mind. He will beat you, she clapped and screamed in my face. Her words were true and I wanted to turn around and run. But his aged mother held my fleeing limbs and begged me to stay. Begged me to understand, that he was under pressure and loved me completely. I knew it was a lie and ended the relationship a week later. But the men stopped coming and I was getting more and more depressed. I was lonely and when he got back from London and asked me to marry him, I said yes. He beat up the neighbor for moving the generator set and trying to stop the fumes from entering the poor neighbor's room. He threatened to burn everyone in the block of flat if they dared touch his generator set. Holding a keg of petrol and a lot matchbox, no one argued with him. Angry and mean where his middle name and our son felt his wrath when he distracted him from watching a football match and missing a goal. I watched him toss our child across the room and rushed to break my baby's fall. I was lucky I got there on time but sprained my wrist in the process. My husband didn't care that we were both crying. He was too upset with me to care. I have defied him and continued to work, ask me what work he has? Shishi, he collects his mother's rent from her tenant's and gives her whatever he deems fit. I should have known, now I am in this mess. Diner was late because I had my wrists bandaged in the hospital and my son treated for shock. My husband let me finish cooking and abused me, bullied me into dropping my fork. I was too fat to be eating and according to him, should start fasting. I was too hungry to care and fed my son and then he grabbed my plate of food and finished both. Insisted I tuck our son to sleep and threatened to beat him to sleep. The little boy knew and grabbed me tight, sleep mummy, sleep. His words broke my heart and his shaking little body made me cry. You spoil our son, he screamed and I tuck my tired baby in his bed. The sound of my name made my son jerk out of fear and I massaged his back and whispered, ssssshhhh. Out of the bedroom, I could see my husband was hiding something. A whip, a cane, at this point I did not care. Come here, his annoying words rang like an irritating fly, across my ears. He dragged me to him by the twisted wrist and clamped a handcuff over the swollen joint. I screamed and then remembered my son would rush out and also be beaten. So I covered my mouth and begged him. He twisted the wrist and I screamed. I could not see and started begging him and begging the world to rescue me. I feel the generator set burn my shin and open my eyes. I was biting into his rugged hardened hands that dragged with evil intent, my sprained wrist. He was enjoying every minute of my pain. Twist out of this and I will burn you alive and watch your son hold your burning body. His threats made me freeze in disbelief. Even the horror films I watched didn't have wickedness of this magnitude. Chained To A Generator Set, The Height Of Wickedness. I was crying silently as he dosed me with petrol. My son was crying and hanging on to the burglary proof, trying to come and rescue me from his father. The neighbors watched and I cried. A fire would disrupt their life and getting involved would stress them. So, they did nothing. I watched the exposed wire and tried to stop the generator. My husband unlocked the door and grabbed our son, if you off that generator, I will use this handcuff to cuff him to the generator. I stopped struggling and watched my son wriggle and cry. It's okay, go to bed. Daddy is just playing, I tried to pacify my child. I told our frantic son and he ran into my arms and I cried. The sound of vans approaching made me look up and realize what was happening. One of the neighbors had called the police. I cried and tried to steady my son and the generator set. The neighbors grabbed my husband and stop him from lighting the match. The policemen and women switch off the generator set and I start to wail uncontrollably. The women hug me and take my baby from me and take pictures to catalogue his crimes. I look at the pic and could not recognize myself. Just to please people that I would never see, I married a monster. And now, my story will be seen worldwide. My shame seen by all, the abuse I tried to cover up, now witnessed by all. It's never worth it, to allow evil to go unpunished. To allow abuse to continue. I was that tamed rabbit in a cardboard box, everyone expects that I should jump out and run away. Expects me to be free, but I was conditioned into complacency, threatened with my son's life into staying. But now, I will now be a voice of the abused, make sure that everyone knows how much I suffered in the hands of my abuser.
Why would you treat anyone with such cruelty? I could never understand it, but the world seems to have these saddists. These people with no human compassion. Thank God she survived it. I tell Henrik and collapsed into my new favorite rocking chair.
It was a gift from my grandma, my grandma who is now ninety. Although, I had cushions made and placed on it. It was really comfortable and I loved it.
'It would be nice to see how the law deals with this abusive husband', Henrik adds.
'I can't wait to see the kind of punishment he gets'
'So, you are Nnoye's brides maid', Henrik adds in disbelief
'Chief brides maid, for that matter'
'And Opeyemi?'
'One year residency, away from all the drama. Having her baby would definitely escalate this public drama and fued between her and Nnoye'
'Are you still going to work?'
'Yep', you are driving me', I add with a smirk and Henrik laughs.
'Ready?'
'Sure'
The best feeling on earth is to have your office so close to your home. You can leave home relaxed and get home even better rested.
At work, Henrik gives me a peck and leaves for work. I guess the thought of him been away makes me want him around me, more.
My personal assistant is happy and her colleague. They show me the magazine interview showing Nnoye and the ring on her finger. She was quick to tell them I am the luckiest chief bridesmaid. No surprise there, Nnoye loved been in the news.
There is someone at the door and it disrupts our little gathering.
'Before you two go, come up with five advertising campaigns that can generate us money before lunch. You will each present it and score it. If it's similar to any of the campaign's then it's null and void and we will need double before four. I will have ten campaigns and you two will score me too. We need to earn money and respect with this public relations opportunity'
Seems Nnoye's scandal keeps us in the news. I was actually smiling at all the possible ways I could milk this.
They both exit my office and then my P.A. returned with an awkward look on her face.
'What is it?', I was too nervous to ask who it was.
'Mr. Idibia', I was relieved it was not anyone from Frank's circle. The fear of a pyscho girlfriend is the Beginning of Wis you know.
Then I asked myself if there was a breech in our contract, if there was anyway we could invite loss because of Nnoye's fluctuating feelings for her lovers. I knew the answer was no, but I build bridges and don't burn like my crazy friend.
'What a lovely surprise, send our best client in', I announced.
Very sure he could hear me and prepared for some serious crisis management.
'Hey, Idibia'
We side hugged and I air kissed him. He was in no mood for trivial greetings.
'I see you are very much aware of the latest', he adds and waves the magazine on my table in my face.
I sighed long and hard and stare at the love struck man.
'What kind of woman kisses you on Sunday and gets engaged on Wednesday?'
Very like the Solomon Grundy poem, only in this case it's my friend.
'No good morning, nothing?'
I had to get him out of the terrible mood.
'Sorry, but there is nothing good about this morning'
The answer made me sad and I clasp my hands and stare at him. He reached for his pocket and brings out a small box.
'I was going to propose'
I opened my mouth and shut it and then collect the box. Inside is a beautiful ring with clustered diamond's.
'It's bigger than Mariah Carey's and I was going to televise it all'
I had to break the airy silence with something
'You know she's pregnant... '
'And I look like someone who cares'
He is right, Nnoye is showing and he knew from the start.
'Did you tell her?'
Idibia bites his fingers and stretched his hand and I give it back to him.
'Tell her', I tried to calm him and encourage him to show her the ring.
'She knows'
'She didn't see the rock', I said realizing that I implied that, it was all about the money with Nnoye.
'I wanted to come here in person and tell you that I will fight to the end'
'As expected'
'And you will be her chief bridesmaid at our wedding'
I giggled out loud, unintentionally. And it made him laugh.
'All my life, people have underestimated me. And always I rise up and proove them wrong'
'I didn't mean to...'
'It's alright. I am here for your services. I need you to come up with an underdog campaign...'
'An underdog campaign?'
'Yes, to win Nnoye back publicly'
'But there's a conflict of interest'
'Exactly, you will create campaigns to promote you. And I will pay you to promote me. Passion versus paid services, the first of it's kind'
I laughed but not from deep inside me.
'That's why I came', and he stands up and gives me a cheque.
The figures make me dizzy and I look at his handsome face and smile.
This time, he side hugs me and laughs.
'Let's the race begin'
I wanted to start drawing and drafting, but I remain calm.
I see him off and try very hard to contain my fear and excitement. As he drives off, I walk with all composure back into my office.
Inside, I screamed and point.
'Bring my phone oooo', and my work colleagues race and find it.
As I dial two numbers, I point at them.
'Oyaya, start working ooo. Mr Idibia has given us additional work'
I go to my office and shut the door.
'Ajoke and Celine ooo, we need to talk. It has happened, everything is going to happen'
I'm excited and could not wait to gist them. Ajoke did not pick up the phone and when she did, she was screaming.
'Ade, help me'
The horror in her voice scared me and I tried to decode her words.
Her baby was in a horrible accident and the horror in her voice made the situation worse. I had to be at her side, as quickly as possible....
**Season 1, Episode 19**
*"ADE'S JOURNAL" 19, COPYRIGHT 2017*
**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE COPYRIGHT 2017**
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