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Ade's Journal Part 6

Ade's Journal Part 6
My Valentine & The Elegance Of A Clean Breakup

Ade's Journal Part 5

Ade's Journal Part 5
My Scrumptious Valentine Kiss

Ade's Journal Part 4

Ade's Journal Part 4
A Scorpion is not a Lobster

Ade's Journal Part 3

Ade's Journal Part 3
My Insane Week Before Valentine

Ade's Journal Part 2

Ade's Journal Part 2
He Had The Guts To Come Back

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Saturday, 15 July 2017

Octopus-Like, I Overheard My In-law Suggest A Threesome


  Not long ago, I was a lone bud. A green baby with tiny roots, in a rich Beautiful earth. I had just two voluptuous pastel green shoots facing the sun, All around me was abundance and rich loamy soil. The other plants thrived too and we all danced for joy. And then someone decided to up root me. To take me away from the earthworms that ensured aeration. Yank me away from my species and my plant comrades. Driver ants bite with large mouths, enraged by the sudden exposure and snap and protect their colony. Little do they know, that the young juvenile agama lizard is watching and waiting. As they start to retreat back into the soil, they are devoured one at a time. The lady trying to replant me stops. She hears the crunching sound and her massive eyes focus. The lizard freezes and the ants too. As they search for their missing comrades. The lizard is impatient and ignores the human and quickly snacks on the ants. Woodlice too coil into semi circles and uncoil, this spectacle was beautiful to watch. She moves earthworms and worms I didn't know their names. Maybe nematodes and then moved me into a beautiful aerated clay pot. Bath me in fresh underground water and watched me grow. Blue blowflies perch and go and I beat the odds and survive. Everyday she gives me a bath and then she stopped. Not out of wickedness, but because the rains washed me daily. This was the life, until it happened. A nonsensical play, that should never have happened in the first place. If my groomer, my care taker was around it would have halted their gimmicks. But they crashed into me and my majestic clay pot, forged by Benin potters. The last in this house, shattered. The game was up and everyone shook as my caretaker walked in. Her smile changed to a frown and morphed into rage as she dashed to my side.
Who did this? The culprit was sorry but the harm was done. She got a sack and moved my remains into it. A broken bucket was all she could find and she burnt metal and drilled holes into the bucket. As she mounts it on the steel pot stand from her Benin childhood. It was never the same and I tilted and died. She moved worms, buried eggshells, shocked loamy soil onto my roots. But nothing happened, I died and left this earth. She never gave up and planted agbalumo seed, the massive African cherry
Tree beside me. Maybe because her sister and her compared the growth of their Aloe vera plants monthly. I don't know, but I felt her efforts and my roots absorbed her richness. So, I grew. She is no longer my caretaker but my sister and I will do everything to protect her. So I didn't just grow, I grew and grew, defying gravity and everything else. You could say....
Octopus-Like, I Overheard My In-law Suggest A Threesome.
Now I am stuck, should I be loyal and tell her of the plot. Or should I ignore them and assume her partner will do the right thing?
    A cool breeze blew and froze the cells in my feet, that's how I wake up now... Cold.
This Lagos na waaaa. Temperature twenty four with cold winds and dropping, it feels much better than hot humid Lagos.
  I do not miss the sun, at least not today.
Less is more, it's the simple things that matter. Not big overblown issues that drive everyone insane.
Nnonye was wrong of course, Henrik is cool with me working with my ex. He is after all, one of my best friend's cousin.
Sweet, my relationship is stronger than that.
And then it happened, a WhatsApp message at five thirty. Too early and unfortunately for me, I had placed my phone under my husband's pillow. An annoying habit he hates.
   I woke u Watching Henrik frown at the name that showed up on my WhatsApp number contact. That's when my smile faded and I realized who it was.
'Now he's waking us up?'
  My sweetheart hands me the phone and I switch it off. Stupid smartphone came on, on its own because I would have sworn I switched it off last night.
'I didn't tell him to call me this early, sorry'
 So, I was apologizing for his mistakes.
It's the first morning since our traditional marriage that Henrik didn't cuddle up to me or kiss me good morning or wake me up with a soft kiss.
 I didn't even get to say more, he threw away the bed covers and marched into the bathroom.
I am pissed and switch my phone back on, the stupid phone decides to start updating apps. I wait for Henrik and he is taking his time like my phone. They both finish at the same time and I send Mr. H a cold message.
 No messages before 8am and after 8pm, when we were together he had manners and would never have sent a married woman a message at that ungodly hour.
He sent a sad face and 'k'.
The worst word any human or bot could send on the now addictive app. Henrik flushed and washed his hands and I fight the urge to quickly put off my phone, like I was doing something wrong.
Then Henrik walks in, I hesitate to look up and eventually I do. My darling watched me and I sighed heavily.
'I had to get a new contract, you know that'
  Henrik snuggles up to me and gives me my daily medicine, a soft kiss on my forehead while he closed all the gap between us.
'You know he wants you back', it was a statement of fact and I replied immediately.
'He done craze, never. I've found my last bus stop'
'That's my woman', he adds and grabs my phone.
'What did the fool want', Henrik keyed in my password and checked.
'You didn't', I exaggerated my shock.
'I know you know my password too', he adds.
  Honestly, I do and for the first time since we got married I checked his phone. Last night, because I was worried and yes I did see girls WhatsApp naked pictures and his reply.... This is going on my porn site, some send messages of consent and try to negotiate fees. Others state that they do not give consent and their religion background forbade it. Others delete and block him and some beg that their husbands must not find out. It was all news to me and I did feel guilty but curiosity got me.
'You don't mind?', Henrik asked.
 And as the phone locked, I unlock it and show him.
'I was going to show it to you, anyways'
 My sweetheart then grumbled my phone was boring and then showed me his.
I almost passed out from shock, no I was not faking it. He had new photos and videos, it was disgusting. What kind of women are in this Lagos?
'You don't get nude pictures?'
'I used to but I don't anymore, I block and delete anyone that annoys me self'
'Don't worry, when I get the password for the safe you keep ADE'S JOURNAL... I will read to my heart's satisfaction'
'But you can't do that'
'Only because you change the password every week'
 I laughed, of course I knew he was getting curious.
'You don't mind?'
'It's the biggest challenge, yet'
'But when I fill it up, you peep'
'You only fill it up when there is no scandalous detail in it'
 He's right and it made me laugh, he really looks good and my hands slide under his back. He arched it so I could get my hands around his athletic frame. We are great together and I seal it with a kiss.

   Ajoke is it playing and Celine and I miss her too much.
'The girl annoys me'
'Which of your friends doesn't?'
 I turn to Celine who takes a bow and laughs.
'Not all of us can be prim and proper', Ajoke grumbled with a hint of jealousy.
'You don't annoy me anymore'
'Because I've toned down on my  craziness', Ajoke adds petting her perfect curls.
'Do you, don't mind Ade', Celine adds.
'See you, so that Ade can chase me away eh? La ye, la ye. Na me, you and Ade go be best friends forever'
'Shout it out, Ajoke', I screamed.
'So, did you hear?'
'Yes oo, Bala gisted me', Ajoke adds.
'Bala doesn't gossip', I grumbled.
'My dear, Bala has everyone's gist. He does and be nice or you won't get updates'
'What updates?', I wanted to know more'
'I heard one of my in-laws suggest a threesome to someone...'
'Wait, what?', Celine shrieked.
 Us girls laughed and enjoyed the joke and conversation and in-between it all forgot to ask who.
  Instead, Ajoke became a curious kitten and started prying.
'But Ade, why?'
'I am running low on cash flow and this creates a steady stream'
'Your ex.. ', Celine grumbled.
'Your cousin', I add.
'Wait oooo, Celine knows something', Ajoke silenced me and baits Celine for gist.
'Let's it go', I warn Ajoke.
'But you know that Mr. H feels you are the one that got away'
 I laughed.
'Exactly how he felt about Baratu, the grass is always greener on the other side. He is on his own'
'Correct, get the money and leave all those silly games men play. Trying to guilt you into his web of lies... I hope you charged him extra...'
'Premium my dear, but what he did was not nice', I add.
'What did he do?', Ajoke asked on the Skype call from Fiji.
'He sent a WhatsApp message five thirty this morning...'
 Ajoke was silent and Celine covered her mouth.
'No', Celine.
'Henrik picked up'
'The bastard, he wants to shake your foundation so he can build another'
'Baratu is his soulmate, we are going to Fiji'
 This prompts an echo of screams and then I feel sad.
'But she was with Idibia', I say.
'Abeg, the men in her life know she is loose...'
 Nnoye walks in and Ajoke quickly cuts the Skype call.
'Who is loose?'

  Jamb question, no be for my mouth you go hear say Nash get parting.
I am not going to get into it with anyone today, the babe had the effontry to kiss Idibia in front of me. We have not talked since then, I mean really talked.
 I just feel like this Hyena won't change her stripes.

**Season 2, Episode 44**
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Adebusola Ukayat Elegbede is a Playwright and Content creator with a passion for real life challenges. Born in Kaduna state and lives in Lagos Nigeria, she has a passion for story telling from the perspectives of characters in conflicting situations. I started out on the New Writing Project in Nigeria with the British Council Lagos Nigeria and The Royal Court Theatre, Sloane Square U.K. My passion for creating stories led to comic books, television drama's and an online journal on my website (busolaelegbede.com). As part of the WPIC in Stockholm Sweden 2012, the experience has forged life long friends and ignited my passion as a volunteer and advocate for human rights and the United Nations 17 Sustainable Development Goals.

Follow @Busola Elegbede