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Ade's Journal Part 6

Ade's Journal Part 6
My Valentine & The Elegance Of A Clean Breakup

Ade's Journal Part 5

Ade's Journal Part 5
My Scrumptious Valentine Kiss

Ade's Journal Part 4

Ade's Journal Part 4
A Scorpion is not a Lobster

Ade's Journal Part 3

Ade's Journal Part 3
My Insane Week Before Valentine

Ade's Journal Part 2

Ade's Journal Part 2
He Had The Guts To Come Back

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Saturday, 9 September 2017

Purple Is The Colour Of Her Aching Pride


  Its quarter to midnight and as I peek and stare at the moonbeam caressing the plant life all around .. I can't help but notice one lonely soul. She has vowed under pressure and shifted and almost crawled on the floor. Pushing past thorns and bigger plants. Much more resilient and robust than she is. Blooms of yellow, red and white thrive here. Butterflies, bees and beetles sway above and spread thier sweet nectar and ignore hers.
 Something must be wrong with me, she grumbled and then noticed others shift inches away from her. Maybe it's the wind, she tries to console her aching pride. Then she heard it, the distinctive sound of a pregnant fly. Moving with the wind, the lone flower tries to move away from the compound eye of this unwelcome visitor.
Instead she apologized as she lands on her fresh shoot. And then in an instant, the fly is stuck on the slippery tongue that recoils back into the mouth of the red chameleon.
Blessed is she who celebrates in the gifts of life, the different joys of this majestic world. As everything has its place and purpose. One hatched larva, could mean more and the death of me. But one heavy chameleon, is the unexpected guest I welcome to suck all the nectar in me. For now, until I attract the butterflies, bees and beetles to spread my spores and duplicate me..
 Now I know it may not make sense to you, but to me it does. A lot of times, we are surrounded by people we expect to help. But that is seldom the case, this Fleeting life has many harsh lessons to be learned. And I really feel like I've learned it all.

    So why is my heart racing, why am I scared?

 Maybe it's because, I give myself harsh ultimatums. Like, if I don't achieve the goal by February. Then it's better I exit this world. I may not often pen down this negative side of me. But I need to, sometimes.
 I really don't like some people I have met in this life and go out of my way to ensure we never meet again. They are a reminder of this angry side of me. This girl that has heart palpitations, fast beating syndrome that pulls me to my knees and makes my head sway awkwardly. As I expect the end.
 This side of me that had goals that were put on hold for fleeting love. That failed me again and again.
 I know you are wondering why I'm this moody this evening. It is because I slept all afternoon and now I am awake.
I watch Henrik snore and ask myself, how will he betray me?
 It seems everyone does in their own subtle way. Khadijatu, Nnoye, Mr. H and the worst of them all... Frank. Will I ever forgive and forget?
I actually believed that by now, I would have left this country, relocated to my husband's home. To my dream home, even though it's no longer looking like a dream home to me. We have not talked about it and I am upset.
 I want the perfect excuse to not deal with all my ex and horrid former friends. I want that story of relocating to America with just a bag pack and nothing more. I want to press delete and then reformat my life. Starting all over again with my twins and my husband. God, I miss my sister and her laughter. We would be so close, just a drive away and not oceans apart.
I had not finished wallowing in my misery when he placed a hand gently on my back.

'I haven't seen you look so sad...', Henrik had been watching me.
'Its exhaustion...'
'Should we pack up and go now?'
'We agreed after the twins are born and safe to travel... January or February...'
'Ade, we can go now...'
'I'm due next month...'
'We can still go...'
  I understood in that exact moment why my eyes caught that resilient plant.
Purple Is The Colour Of Her Aching Pride, my aching pride. My old friend said my dreams were taking too long to materialize. Her words pierced my heart as she waved my ex's success in my face. Mostly material success and I did feel betrayed. But that kind of sadness only hurts for a short while. That kind of sadness is the one you exhibit when you want to impress fleeting friends. People you don't know anything about, just as they know nothing about me.
  My delayed relocating dream has been delayed for a purpose. It has made me grow up and accept that people are people. They live to serve themselves. And only when the flood washes away everything, would the truth surface.
 I rest my head on his warm hands and hug him.
'I know, it's my former friends that keep reminding me about my missed opportunities'
'... Life is always going to give you opportunities. Endless possibilities and opportunities, I will support all you want to build, be there through thick and thin. When last did your friend call to ask about your health?'
'Last year', I add feeling silly.
'And we are in the ninth month of this new year'
   I laughed so hard he had to catch me from falling head first.
'That's the Add I know'
'You know I used to care about how they see me'
'But that was then'
'I really need to change my phone number'
'No need, just press delete and block'
We were laughing so much that we both fall on the bed.
'Its a beautiful moon lit night', I add wiping happy tears from the corner of my eyes.
'And everyday, we build precious memories like this one'
   I kiss him, it was soft and sweet but it spoke volumes.
  My phone beeped and that old friend sent a picture of my second boyfriends baby.
Henrik looked at it and shakes his head.
'The baby would have been prettier with you as the mum'
'Abi ooo'
'Your friend doesn't know you are pregnant?'
'No, she talks too much'
'So she sent this to....'
'Remind me that time is going and I need to jump on the next man and get pregnant'
  I chuckled.
'What now?', Henrik asked me.
  I delete her contact, block her number and do the same on social media.
I'm too grown up to be explaining myself to anyone.

  I get a message and look at the phone, she actually just sent me a friend request.
And then Pierre calls me, he never does and I get scared. I sit up and listen he is speaking French. I understood a bit, mostly because he was speaking so fast. I say nothing and wait.
I think he realized I didn't understand him and so switched to English.
'Its Celine, she's in the hospital....'

   Fear gripped me and Henrik holds me as I try to remain calm...

**"ADE'S JOURNAL" Season 2 Episode 60**
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Adebusola Ukayat Elegbede is a Playwright and Content creator with a passion for real life challenges. Born in Kaduna state and lives in Lagos Nigeria, she has a passion for story telling from the perspectives of characters in conflicting situations. I started out on the New Writing Project in Nigeria with the British Council Lagos Nigeria and The Royal Court Theatre, Sloane Square U.K. My passion for creating stories led to comic books, television drama's and an online journal on my website (busolaelegbede.com). As part of the WPIC in Stockholm Sweden 2012, the experience has forged life long friends and ignited my passion as a volunteer and advocate for human rights and the United Nations 17 Sustainable Development Goals.

Follow @Busola Elegbede