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Ade's Journal Part 6

Ade's Journal Part 6
My Valentine & The Elegance Of A Clean Breakup

Ade's Journal Part 5

Ade's Journal Part 5
My Scrumptious Valentine Kiss

Ade's Journal Part 4

Ade's Journal Part 4
A Scorpion is not a Lobster

Ade's Journal Part 3

Ade's Journal Part 3
My Insane Week Before Valentine

Ade's Journal Part 2

Ade's Journal Part 2
He Had The Guts To Come Back

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Saturday 28 October 2017

A Man For Every Woman And More Where They Came From


  Talk about unfair, I choose to wait until the wicked  sun shining outside disappears. As soon as it does, I’m on my way. I’ve practiced all night and I have m eyes on the house that I believe would give me the money I need. I’ve watched them all month, bought drinks enough times to be recognized and let in without raised eyebrows. I buy drinks from the woman with a red cooler, she gets excited when she slots me. I always buy bottled drinks and leave the change. No I’m not rich but every week I have a new house I stake out. This house the lesson teacher has changed four times now, I’ve offered to buy them drinks in the hot sun. And they have accepted, that’s how I know so much. I even know the name of the new house help, Bright. Yes her name is bright but she is gullible and afraid to mess up. Today is my opportunity and I’m taking it. I can’t wait to have her bosses Rolex in my hand, I have a buyer already and will not need to come back to this area. I walk briskly and knock on the door and Bright answers. She scans my outfit and shoes and bag and I do not disappoint. I have on a designer bag and shoes, thanks to generous family members returned back to Nigeria. They discard their wardrobes to impress people like me and then fill it back up as soon as they return.
A little cash in hand could have been better but they had none to give and a referral maybe. But there was nothing they could do for me and trying too hard has left me exhausted. So I am honing what easily comes naturally to me, whenever I feel trapped or cornered. Its lies and lying, I open my mouth and tell Bright I have meeting with her boss and he said it was alright to wait. This was the time I had calculated she would be in her towel. She had heard about the job from the gateman who was collecting his reward in kind. After rumps of sex, she liked to take a long twenty minutes shower. All these I deduced from taking my fizzy bottled drink from the woman with the red cooler. Bright let me in and showered as quickly as she could but not fast enough. It was like Christmas, perfumes, the watch and makeup bags filled with designer goodies. I tucked it all in and pretended to receive an urgent call. Bright watched as I promised to make another appointment and was kind enough to walk me out. It would have been perfect, but the nosy neighbor walked in just as I was about to walk out of the gate. She scrutinized me and frowned, she had a wicked mistrustful look and asked who I was. I recognized her and tried to stay calm. She started dialing and then ordered that the gates stayed closed. She did remember me from years before. My game was up...

         It’s hard to believe people still walk boldly into homes and claim the owners sent them. And to read that she teaches and then after school, goes out to stalk victims is scary. People are not what they seem, well some. Others are so predictable it’s pathetic. Yes, I’m reading the news about the home robbery by the lady in designer clothes. This world has changed, to think you walk in a thousand dollars shoes and you steal perfumes worth a hundred dollars. And the thief is a school teacher, I really don’t get it. Her luck ran out when the person she robbed years ago ran into her again. The neighbour remembered her chipped tooth and natural long lashes. They are calling her the beautiful thief. Sad and really sad.
Right now I’m trying to distract myself from what is right in front of me with news  about a stranger. But the news right in front of me is equally juicy enough to get my friends running straight to my house.
It’s a beautiful young twenty year old lady in braids I would die for, lashes professionally fixed and perfect make up. Her dark lipstick remind me of my university days and her high boots and low waist hipsters and midriff scoop neck top exposed her very pregnant belly.
‘Ade hi', the young lady said happy to meet me.
 I smiled awkwardly and turned my gaze at Daniel Ojora.
‘We kind of look alike', he adds and grabs Daniel's nervous hand.
 I look at her full lips and wide eyes and hips that accentuates her killer body and even chocolate skin.
 ‘You see the resemblance, I can tell'
  I shake my head and forced a smile.
‘Not really, can you excuse US’, I add and open my office door.
   Inside, I slumped into my couch and massaged my forehead.
‘Ade, it’s her sister I remember dating…’
  I look up and laughed stupidly.
‘See I’m just as surprised as you…’
‘Is the sister pregnant?’
 I was actually kidding but Daniel sits beside me and then I side hug him.
‘Tell me that four women are carrying your children?’
‘Ade, I am as confused and as surprised as you are'
‘I am not surprised, what shocks me is that you got two sisters pregnant'
‘Mini is lying'
‘Her name is Mini?’
  I sighed and just shake my head and then let go when I see the way he looks at me.
‘And the sister?’
‘She told me she didn’t have time for babies and was getting rid of it…’
‘Is she younger?’, I had to ask.
‘Older by six years'
‘Did she….’
‘According to Mini Baby is still pregnant'
‘You were a very busy man this year’, I joked.
‘I was trying to heal, get you out of my head…’
  The way he looked at me with all sincerity and passion, made me uncomfortable.
‘By sleeping with sisters?’, I snapped at him.
‘Ade I swear to you, Mini is lying. She lies and Baby says she is a chronic liar'
‘She won’t do a DNA test, right?’
‘She heard about the reality show and wants to crash in…’
‘Somehow I believe you, there something off about her'
‘She cloned your outfit you know….’
‘I almost said she stole my wardrobe….’
‘Even the hair style, she is trying too hard to look like you. Her sister is the one that looks like you…’
‘Nnoye and Opeyemi don’t look like me', I joked.
‘I had to have a break from you, you know'
‘Yet here you are…’
As a friend I can be myself with, I’m glad we didn’t end up together…’
‘…You don’t mean that'
‘Daniel’s baggage and Ade would never have mixed. You don’t like to share and I was not really ready to be monogamous. I would never have been able to talk to you this sincerely'
‘So you know I don’t like to share?’
’it’s a huge turn off for you, that is why Henrik is perfect for you. He too does not like to share'
  We both laughed and sink back into my very comfortable couch.
‘Ade, I’m here in this message. Is this good for the show or bad?’
‘Scandal is good for the show and a chronic liar with delusions of grandeur….’
 I sit up and stretched my fingers up to the ceiling.
‘She wants a contract’
‘She is not getting one. Wait, I will offer he a package contract that Baby alone can push forward or end'
‘So Baby..’
‘Gets the care package, the money as a friend of the show. But Mini features a tiny bit’
‘And if she insists?’
‘Opeyemi and Nnoye have DNA tests proving they have filial ties to you…’
 ‘She would have to agree because she knows a DNA test eliminates her'
‘Exactly and he sister is a little shy, right?’
‘Not really but can be guarded'
‘I suspect Mini will try to manipulate her into not doing the test, so Mini remains relevant'
‘You wear your Producer hat very well'
‘Thank you Mr. Ojora’, it makes us laugh some more.
  You have to give it to Daniel, he is very easy to talk to.
Mini struggles with my P.A. to try to get into my office, accusing us of getting up to no good in there.
 I open the door and announced to her my decision, she could not come here without signing a joint deal with Baby. I draft the contract and speak to her as calmly as I could. She was not happy but a DNA test if she ever goes public with a huge lawsuit for defamation of character. I actually said assassination of character, it drove the point deeper in. She tucked her tail between her legs and leaves quietly.
‘Victory lunch?’
‘Tomorrow, Henrik will be awake’, I say goodbye and leave.
  I feel like I am been followed, does this have to do with Mini, Frank or Frank’s fiancée? Honestly, I have no idea but I think Henrik is right, a driver is an additional set of eyes. I’m not driving myself alone anymore, I kind of need to know I’m not alone.

     A brand new Saturday is here and I have dates with Nnoye’s men. She wants me to see them together to check out their chemistry and just see how they flow. We have scheduled three dates and I am curious to see these men. The first one is Jude, he looks like Idibia and is into entertainment and all. But every woman that walks in is scrutinized and admired and I saw him wink at the waitress. He did not like that Nnoye had on two inch heels and asks if she didn’t wear six inch shoes. He was a show man and even complained I had on my natural hair, explained that a weave made me more camera friendly. That I look too simple for television. I asked what show he produced and who his artists are. Turns out he is a has-been, nothing new in years. It’s his dabbling into food business that saved him.
Nnoye just liked his private jet that turned out not to be his. He left with the waitress and they seemed happy together, Nnoye and I laughed at the entire brunch.
 Lunch with Ahmad was interesting, he was or has some form of obsessive compulsive disorder. He even showed Nnoye a strand from her weave that landed on his car seat. Hoovering the car just before he drives off. I didn’t know there were portable hand held Hoover’s available in town, he brought them into the country and gave us his card.
The last supper was with Mfon, he was fine and such a gentle man. He was funny and short while a very large personality. He made me laugh and got us a private chef in an exclusive restaurant. The meal was fresh from the sea and he even popped the none alcoholic drinks for us. His mother was pregnant when she met the only father he knows. His dad died on a plane crash and the new family hated her. But his father shielded her and moved her out of Calabar to Lagos and built a fishing business. Today, their empire sent many of their families up and they are all Empowered because of it. So a challenge does bring out the best or worse in people.
He had charmed his way into my mind with how easy he was to talk to and the chemistry between them was great. Mfon was definitely on the show and he didn’t want money, he wanted us to pick people to empower and he would find it. Whether Nnoye and he ended up together or not.
We got a great date, a sponsor and people Empowered. He was perfect.
The realization that this is happening is very much real now more than ever.
      Nnoye goes home with me and we tell Henrik everything, laughing and screaming as we did. My phone rings and I pick it up.
Celine is not smiling and she is screaming and crying, I try to calm her down and signal to Nnoye. She calls Ajoke to come over right away.

  I can not believe my ears….

**"ADE'S JOURNAL", Season 2, Episode 74**
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Adebusola Ukayat Elegbede is a Playwright and Content creator with a passion for real life challenges. Born in Kaduna state and lives in Lagos Nigeria, she has a passion for story telling from the perspectives of characters in conflicting situations. I started out on the New Writing Project in Nigeria with the British Council Lagos Nigeria and The Royal Court Theatre, Sloane Square U.K. My passion for creating stories led to comic books, television drama's and an online journal on my website (busolaelegbede.com). As part of the WPIC in Stockholm Sweden 2012, the experience has forged life long friends and ignited my passion as a volunteer and advocate for human rights and the United Nations 17 Sustainable Development Goals.

Follow @Busola Elegbede