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Ade's Journal Part 6

Ade's Journal Part 6
My Valentine & The Elegance Of A Clean Breakup

Ade's Journal Part 5

Ade's Journal Part 5
My Scrumptious Valentine Kiss

Ade's Journal Part 4

Ade's Journal Part 4
A Scorpion is not a Lobster

Ade's Journal Part 3

Ade's Journal Part 3
My Insane Week Before Valentine

Ade's Journal Part 2

Ade's Journal Part 2
He Had The Guts To Come Back

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Wednesday, 22 November 2017

Septuplets Alone Will Do


   Seems like I missed out on a lot, do you blame me? Before you answer, don't, I have so much to say and show you. If you could just calm down and listen to me. My creative mind takes off long before I catch up. So just try and be patient and just walk with me. I am walking on a path that is familiar to me but not right now and as I approach the room that hunts my childhood I pause. The familiar bed that my siblings and I fiddled with the loose thread and then all the fabric encased around it peels off like when I peel off without breaking the perfect layer of onion. The bed then became our personal poker dot project, we would try to make even holes in the foam of the matrass without any form of cover. My father is long across the ocean on a training course and my mum too busy in her out of control creative mind to notice. The room that used to boast of visitors has become a tomb and that word joined my vocabulary when I stumble on a horror movie with a desecrated tomb. That's how it started, the fear I mean. I have long abandoned the idea of having fun in empty abandoned rooms. The spring filled matrass that I used to jump up and try to touch the ceiling. No longer has that appeal to me, it is now that room filled with monsters lurking in the dark and hanging and swinging my feet while I sit on the bed now scares me. I do not want to be here but when I feel trapped and stagnant, I find myself in this room from my childhood memories in Benin city. Yes I know, I did get scared a lot in that city but it's because I got aware of fear. Before then a skeleton was just something imagined but then I found out that that's what is underneath our skin. When the flesh is stripped off, and blood long gone it's all that is left. Science class now has me wondering if the teacher had killed to get the skeleton in her laboratory or if it's all plastic. I reached out to touch it and she shouts at me and my suspicions grow.
Why am I here? I so want to wake up and never see this room again but the curtains form the head of a monster and I try to turn to leave and tried harder to wake up. This is ridiculous, I hear my mum laughing and know this is definitely a dream. She has not laughed like that since I was a child and the visitors help. The house gets to see sunlight again and the light floods the room and all the horror fades away. I begin to open my eyes and wake up and then I heard it.
I listened as the crickets stopped chirping and the dogs stop croaking. I sighed and it ends with a whistle and I search my current room for someone with a whistle. I breathe again and heard my breath whistle, it was strange but true. I decide to adjust and help to see if I was still whistling. It had stopped and I missed the sound.
 The pillows I lay my heavy head deflates as I tried to keep it just high enough to stay calm enough to send me to the state of mind I long for. I heard it and then shrugged it off as I hear it again and again.
The lizards grind their teeth as they munch on the carcass of curious cockroaches hunting for prey. This, been awake is better than being out of control.
 Now Nnoye is grilling me, trying to decipher if I am lying or not. I do not look up and instead bite into the delicious samosas.
'Ade you are not taking this serious...'
 I pause, chew and swallow and raise my hand to excuse myself as I down a big gulp of orange juice. Me I cannot have constipation at this late stage of my pregnancy, so oranges are my friends.
'Okay I am a bit full, what you are saying is that Daniel that we both know slept with two sisters'
 Abeg give me the Oscars quick, Nnoye is sold.
'Ask me ooo, I did not think he was into such...'
 I cut her short and grab her and look up to my left as if I was trying to think about it.
'It can he?'
'Ade I don't know but Opeyemi was the only competition before now. Now there are two pregnant sisters....'
'...And a desperation brother trying to get on your show'
 My words put her back on the pedestal she thought she has lost.
'What do I do?'
'We can let Ashabi do her wedding special and then we all handle it'
'Ajoke sent me pictures of your shoes and the price tag, I am not paying that kind of money. When I don't even own a property'
 I chuckled and picked up the last of my samosas and chucked ice in my orange juice. I look forward to sucking on it and then shut my eyes.
'He said they already have a deal'
'The sisters, that there is a contract, did Daniel give them a contract, did you?'
 I drop my glass cup filled with juice and sit up, I was enjoying this lie and tried not to show it.
'I know that you have a contract with him too but how am I going to cope with this?'
 She started having a panic attack and her baby starts to dance around inside her belly and I grab the ice bucket and hand it over to her and start breathing slowly.
Nnoye copies me and when she is calm, she grabs a ringed shaped ice cube and sucks on it.
'Did you not used to chew ice?'
 I exhaled.
'I still do, when I am alone. The sound freaks everyone else out'
'Exactly, It was really loud'
'I agree that I am too close to you all to do this but....'
'Are you trying to be Kris on our show? On all our shows'
'You are right, that's why I hired a team. I still get final say on the message each Episode sends out'
'So you won't be totally waving your wand'
'No', I giggled and then rest my head.
'Where is the bridal shower and bachelor's party'
'Coded, we each get a secret car taking us to a secret location'
'With all these kidnappings going on...'
'She texts each of us a secret password and tell the driver who takes us to the party'
'I wish the party was today'
'The ladies get back today and we meet up at Ajoke's'
'A party before the party, when do we go?'
'After I make Henrik lunch'
'Your husband wants you to cook?'
'He does not, but I know he likes semovita and efo elegusi'
'Am I invited?'
 She looks sad and I really wanted to be alone with Henrik but it's okay.
'You can come, I'll just...'
 I send a WhatsApp messenger to him, so he knows we won't be alone.

  Lunch was delicious and it was surprisenly fun to have Nnoye with us. She is a great friend and I have to admit that minus Daniel Ojora we would have been closer. But this her baby daddy just pitches me against her to get her upset and I had to tell her. She admits that she knows that eventually it would wear off. I just hope it's sooner than later and we all rest and munch on shrimps and stock fish bath in vegetables. I even tell Nnoye that stockfish is actually Cod fish and the day I had fresh ones, my taste buds danced for joy. Fresh cod fish was priceless and the dried one too.
We are all laughing and having fun when Celine calls me with her Nigerian phone number.
'Babe where are you?'
'As in Nigeria?'
'Yes, we are coming over. Ashabi picked us up in her latest Range Rover the latest edition'
'As in tear rubber?'
'The babe just dey oppress us left, right and centre'
Celine laughed as I hand the phone over to Nnoye.
'Nnoye is here talk to her'
 They shriek and laugh and catch up and I grab Henrik's hands and lead him to the kitchen. We both wash our hands and laugh and chat and once our hands are clean, he talks to the twins who respond by moving closer to my stomach's surface.
'Lets have more'
'Bros, let these ones come out first naaa'
'I know, I just want a massive family'
'We will have the twins first then....'
'Septuplets Alone Will Do'
 I laughed so loud.
'Are you the one carrying all of them'
'No but if the next set are even more births...'
'I want a lot of children, I remember joking that I want nine'
'Nine it is...', Henrik adds and spins me around to face him and kissed me.
This really felt good and even more delicious than my own food.

  This is the November I will forever remember and I can't wait to meet the twins, meet Ashabi as Mrs. and start my biggest project as executive producer of reality shows about my crazy friends. It all starts with the bachelorette party.
Here we go....

**"ADE'S JOURNAL" Season 2 Episode 81**
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Adebusola Ukayat Elegbede is a Playwright and Content creator with a passion for real life challenges. Born in Kaduna state and lives in Lagos Nigeria, she has a passion for story telling from the perspectives of characters in conflicting situations. I started out on the New Writing Project in Nigeria with the British Council Lagos Nigeria and The Royal Court Theatre, Sloane Square U.K. My passion for creating stories led to comic books, television drama's and an online journal on my website (busolaelegbede.com). As part of the WPIC in Stockholm Sweden 2012, the experience has forged life long friends and ignited my passion as a volunteer and advocate for human rights and the United Nations 17 Sustainable Development Goals.

Follow @Busola Elegbede