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Ade's Journal Part 6

Ade's Journal Part 6
My Valentine & The Elegance Of A Clean Breakup

Ade's Journal Part 5

Ade's Journal Part 5
My Scrumptious Valentine Kiss

Ade's Journal Part 4

Ade's Journal Part 4
A Scorpion is not a Lobster

Ade's Journal Part 3

Ade's Journal Part 3
My Insane Week Before Valentine

Ade's Journal Part 2

Ade's Journal Part 2
He Had The Guts To Come Back

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Friday, 1 December 2017

Dreams Is Where We Are A Family Again


  Just like a shell high on hope and fuel abundant yet scarce, I move with the tides. I sway where it takes me as I just fight and flee and try hard to survive this brutal underwater world. I clap and swim and cheer and scream until I reach close enough to it and stretch and try hard to catch it. I am close to everything yet far from everyone and I want to go yet I stay and stray away from my goals.
   Do you catch my drift?
 Well maybe not in this wave that smashes and tries to pry me open and dislocate my shells from one another. Should I yield or buckle or hold it together in my pink fluffy world. The pink shrimps circle and lead and then follow me. Beautiful uncountable creatures that gives the long legged flamingos those feathers you all love. The sea tastes fresh and the frothy white sea waves rise high and crash hard until perfect sand pebbles line the shore and form an array of beautiful ripples. The grooves on my shell collect perfect sea sand dust that sway in the sea and flow with the current like fluid smoke. You should see it as the pink shrimps devour the elements within them, the nutrients hidden in them. I just want to get to my mate, even if we both lay on our sea bed with disjointed shell casing. All that would matter is that we made it together, until the very end. If only this was us....
 Now I open heavy eyes and wake up to the intense hospital smell. It smells like concentrated medicine soaked in bleach and powdered calcium. The chalky taste of calcium is unforgettable I almost taste it and then feel a strain on my neck and tried to move it.
'Ade, don't', it was Ajoke and much as she tried to look simple she looked gorgeous.
'Is there a photoshoot taking place that I don't know about?' I tried not to sound too critical.
'Ask her ooo', Celine adds and squeezed my hand.
'I want to see him', I add and shut her from trying to make light conversion. I was referring to my late husband and I got disapproving looks from both of them.
'Ade, you can't... Doctors need you stable'
'For how long?', I said with trembling lips.
'I tried to get you proper clothes, but Celine wouldn't let me'
'I don't care about how I look', I snapped at Ajoke. The girl was annoying as hell, I lost my husband and babies and...
   I start to cry again and scream at them, warning my friends not to get any stupid nurse. I want to cry uninterrupted and not drugged up with medicine.
'Really, Ade cry but there is time for everything. You will hurt yourself...'
   My head hurt and I wanted to stand and as she hugs me, I punch her and cry.
'You didn't have to lie', I was not going to forgive her for it.
 For not telling me straight that Henrik had left me. Not only her, I was also never going to forgive the truck driver for murdering my family and even the crowd. Yes I was not going to forgive them because they hesitated and refused to burn him alive for fleeing the scene. He escaped jungle justice and for the first time in my life I was not happy that he did. I wanted people to act like savages, to be cruel and unusual.
 But this world isn't fair and too many good people keep dying, even innocent ones.
I hug my belly now absent of the twins and hold out my arms and cradle the air. For sure I will go mad because of this, it's too much heart ache the loss, all the loss.
 Suddenly, I feel him near. His presence as he smiles at me. And then I hear his voice, he is sitting on the bed beside mine with the twins in his arm. They are crying and I turn to them.
'Ssshhhh, mummy is here. Let daddy hug you and rock you to sleep'
 My words bring me comfort and I smiled at them.
   Celine stared at me funny and as I look at her briefly and back at the bed. They are gone.
'They were just here', I shout at her.
'Ade, you will survive this. You are stronger than you think. You will get it all, the family, the kids'
 I bite my lips and grab the drip stand by my bed and walk up to the bed. They are not really there, I may wish it and dream it but this harsh reality is cruel and wicked.
I do not want to be stable and cannot wait to be alone. The pillows look like a good place to screamed and not be heard. I just stare and hug my stomach now significantly smaller. If only he had listened to me and we had long relocated. If only I had insisted we move this very minute, any of the minutes long before this miserable week. Too many annoying ifs.
 Nnoye runs to the entrance door in heels that long announced her arrival. She stops and stared at me then rushed into me crying g like a baby.
'I didn't know, I swear to God who made me. Immediately I heard, I made him turn the jet around'
'Daniel?', Ajoke asked and my heart ached some more.
''Daniel is back with Opeyemi, I was with Gyang'
 I didn't know who she was talking about and honestly I did not care. As they talked I walked towards the bathroom.
'Let me help you', Celine offered.
 I raise my hand and protest and then hide in the bathroom. At least here I am alone, I want to hear nothing and feel nothing.

 About thirty minutes later a nurse opened the bathroom door and I jolt out from my brief but heavy slumber. I stare at them a little unsure of where I was. And the most painful part was that I did not dream. It was one place I was sure we would reunite and not dreaming was unacceptable.
'Madam, your drip is leaking', the nurse adds and quickly puts the drip line back in place.
It was quite when I return and Celine was sleeping, I could see her baby bump and got jealous. I flinched when Ajoke touched me and then I tried to relax a bit. As she leeds me to my bed. I suddenly feel selfish and then realized Ajoke has been here for me every single day as I watch her tuck me back into bed in my cold room.
'How are the twins?', my question surprised her and made her chuckle and laugh at the same time.
'They want their aunt back home, safe and sound and healthy', Ajoke wipes her tears.
I didn't need to, the pillows soaked and absorbed my tears as I shut my eyes and cry myself to sleep.

  Alone I stare at the ceiling, with friends and family around. Sleep came easy, but on my own it was hard.
I hear a familiar voice and as he entered the room we both cry and hug. It was ironic that we both cried and even weirder that he was just coming around days after my Tragedy. Which also happens to be his best friend's tragedy.
'I'm so sorry, I had to help Opeyemi and..'
'Your baby, how is she?'
'How did you know?'
'It had to be a girl, you just ooze of girls'
'Chief said the same'
 I shake my head.
'Chief sends his condolences, he will be back from Switzerland before end of the week...'
 I didn't hear whatever he said, I was staring at the door expecting Henrik to walk in.
'He is still here', I announced.
'I know'
'And the twins...', I could not finish my words.
'I am so sorry'
'I have recordings of him', I add sniffing.
 I was staring at my phone.
'Recent ones, but I couldn't. None of my friends let me...'
'We can both watch it'
 I smiled and get my phone out, the recordings were a mixture of us three arguing and laughing at first and then quiet recordings of my Henrik. Warm and beautiful and full of love and understanding. I fall asleep hearing his voice and together we walk hand in hand for Dreams Is Where We Are A Family Again....

**"ADE'S JOURNAL" Season 2 Episode 84**
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Adebusola Ukayat Elegbede is a Playwright and Content creator with a passion for real life challenges. Born in Kaduna state and lives in Lagos Nigeria, she has a passion for story telling from the perspectives of characters in conflicting situations. I started out on the New Writing Project in Nigeria with the British Council Lagos Nigeria and The Royal Court Theatre, Sloane Square U.K. My passion for creating stories led to comic books, television drama's and an online journal on my website (busolaelegbede.com). As part of the WPIC in Stockholm Sweden 2012, the experience has forged life long friends and ignited my passion as a volunteer and advocate for human rights and the United Nations 17 Sustainable Development Goals.

Follow @Busola Elegbede