"ADE'S JOURNAL", 86
Reach out deep inside and underneath the tough feathers and try and feel the hard exterior of this rare gem.
Seriously, I've never seen anything like it before in all my life. Quail eggs look like marbles and I heard they are delicious but no thank you. I am not crossing that line, after chickens that's it. But then again I am tired of asking and trying to just earn a serious living. Maybe it's the risk involved, but you can't blame me for trying. Just look at my phone, cracked and passed on from many hands. The screen blurry and missing bits and I pray all the time it does not ring. Because if it does, then that awkward moment is here. That time that I have to reach into my pocket and pick it up. Yes I put it on silent mode, but those updated apps just know how to embarrass me. Anyway, shame has me at this junction and has me in this horrendous mess. My face has gone viral for the wrong reasons, if only I had listened to reason.
As I feel the exterior of the large egg shells, I see it already. The new phone and laptop, the new shoes and hot meals. The ladies all beside me as I walk into the VIP section, all expenses paid by me. My shoes shine and cause a ruckus as they Google the price and faint.
These ostrich eggs will make me rich , way beyond my years. The creature pecks me and I snap out of my daydream. Have you heard an ostrich cry out and call out for help? It's like nothing I even imagined or heard and because of it, the owners nab me. And as they cuff me, the large bird kicks me back into a harsh reality. Me and my stupid accomplice are whisked away in handcuffs and paraded in front of the media. If that was all, I would have just been silent. The court sentence was harsh as I heard the overweight judge rant. Twenty five years' imprisonment for Stolen Ostriches Eggs, the taboo is real. As I listened and collected from all the generous Bags of Jail Time I am christened with, I cannot help but want to turn back the hands of time...
Talk about crazy mixed up feelings, I did not choose to wait until I am comfortable to step into my empty nest. The harsh morning sun shining outside appears to illuminate and burn out my fears. As soon as I put the keys in and unlock my front door, my heart starts to beat fast. Not just fast but dangerously fast. I'm having a panic attack and my head gets light and the pain in my feet gets unbearable. I’m on my way into my house almost two weeks after and I've never been this scared in all my life. I’ve practiced day and night how I will handle this in my head, but instead I lose balance and rest my heavy head on the open door. I didn't want to be babied into my own home, I wanted to do this by myself. That's why I'm here without Celine, poor Celine she feels guilty that she is pregnant and I've lost my own pregnancy. I keep telling her not to be like that, that I am happy for her. And it actually feels good to stare at hers and not my suddenly deflated tummy.
Well it's today, his funeral and I've been heavily medicated. I don't know why, sorry I know why. It's because it will be filmed and documented. The artists want to be true to the reality shows theme and I just stared at my team, hating that they had to keep working. I wanted them all sacked and far away from me and they did respect my wishes. But had to inform me they were going to be filming Henrik descending deep into the earth. I know it's not him anymore, that his body is just a shell and that his soul has long gone to heaven. It's just still hard to accept all this. My heart has steadied and I walk into my house, Celine tried and managed the cleaning crew well. I have m y eyes on the house that I believe would be taken from me soon. I’ve lived here for many months and believed I was going to leave with my husband next year which is weeks away. Now he is dead, the company will take back their property and I'm back down to square one.
A little cash saved in the bank will help but it definitely can't buy a property in Lagos. At least not where I want to live, Victoria Island. Am I supposed to move back in with my parents? There is nothing I can do for me right now and trying too hard to think up a solution has left me exhausted.
So I walk in and I smell his perfume and I smile and March into our bedroom. His closet is shut and I walk into it and rest on the clothes and wrap myself in them. It feels warm and comforting and I start to fall asleep. The pain in my feet jolts me out of sleep mode and I hear my name.
'Ade wake up', it's Celine.
'What', I snapped at her.
Why on earth won't she leave me alone, I'm an adult and this is annoying.
'Your feet...'
I did not care, I just wanted to keep sleeping.
'Carry her, we are going to the hospital', Celine told someone.
Probably that nosy Daniel, I say to myself.
'Elle doit être à l'hôpital dès que possible'
It was Pierre or is it Alan, I can't tell but that French accent was unmistakable.
Turns out my feet had been crushed and had tiny microscopic fractures that could not be easily detected. And I think the doctors said I had blood poisoning or something close. I really didn't care, I just wanted to go to Henrik.
It's true what they say about true love, Saying Goodbye Really Hurts. In my case, literarily hurts. Na wa this is all too crazy.
After all the drug cocktails the doctors pumped into me and a brief sleep, my eyes cleared up a bit. It was Alan that carried me, his fine icy eyes stared at me as I opened them and he just placed his hand over mine.
'Ade I'm so sorry'
Before he said it, I was already crying quietly. I looked at my left feet and a fresh plaster of Paris was wrapped around it and up to my knees.
'Did I break my leg?'
'More like shatter, but they sorted it out and promise the surgery won't leave scars'
I actually want the scars, I never want to forget either mentally or physically.'
'Where is everyone?'
'Celine is with the doctor and the others array the ...'
Alan couldn't say it, he didn't know how to say burial ground. He probably would have said burial site, the ground thing is a Nigerian thing. I shuffle and try to stand and Alan grabs the crutches and give it to me. I fumble with it and finally get it right.
'Have you seen my mum or my dad?'
'They are all there waiting'
'Nine is a hard life, imagine going to the hospital on your husband's day. I mean the day he is supposed to be buried'
'It was a medical error, they should have detected it sooner', Alan was angry and bit his peach lips to stop him from saying more.
He wanted to add that I could have died but was afraid of my reaction. I dabbed the tears streaming down my face and announced.
'I'm ready, let's go'
'The doctor has not discharged...'
I give him an angry look and he stops talking and grabs my bag.
The silence was deafening and the eyeballs were many and as I hurdle and try to maneuver on crutches, I hope and try to stay focused. The coffin was like I expected and as I reach it, I feel it's exterior. Of course I am crying and yes my friends keep me upright as all my limbs turn to jelly. I hug my mum and ask my dad unreasonable questions. I hold my brothers and recite Psalms between tears. I am hysterical and exhausted but worse of all I made it through and said all I wanted to and then nothing.
Awake and with guests, I watch my friends handle it all. To be sincere with you I do not remember much, all I know is that that day was over and I think he was watching me all day. I spoke to my husband but he was silent and yes I know he is gone but I had to say goodbye.
Bala was supportive and was handling many things and was kind enough to email them and not physically show them to me. Daniel too but I really was mad at that one, not that he did anything wrong. Just because he and Henrik were so close and he reminded me more of what I had lost because they were so close and competitive. Anyway, I have said good and addressed the ostrich egg in the room.
So surrounded by friends and family I know that definitely, I can make it one day at a time.
Goodbye my best half, until we meet again...
**"ADE'S JOURNAL" Season 2 Episode 86**
*"ADE'S JOURNAL", 86, COPYRIGHT 2017*
**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE, COPYRIGHT 2017**
86
Ade's Journal
Arts
Best friends
drama
Episode 86
Family
Fiction
Golddigger
Heartbreak
Independent Woman
Inspiration
Journal
Ladies
Love
Lover
Relationship
Season 2
Stalker boyfriend
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