Theme Layout

Boxed or Wide or Framed

Theme Translation

Display Featured Slider

Featured Slider Styles

Display Grid Slider

Grid Slider Styles

Display Trending Posts

Display Author Bio

Display Instagram Footer

Dark or Light Style

Powered by Blogger.

Search This Blog

Ade's Journal Part 6

Ade's Journal Part 6
My Valentine & The Elegance Of A Clean Breakup

Ade's Journal Part 5

Ade's Journal Part 5
My Scrumptious Valentine Kiss

Ade's Journal Part 4

Ade's Journal Part 4
A Scorpion is not a Lobster

Ade's Journal Part 3

Ade's Journal Part 3
My Insane Week Before Valentine

Ade's Journal Part 2

Ade's Journal Part 2
He Had The Guts To Come Back

Popular Posts

Saturday 20 January 2018

As Confused An Ambivert As Can Be


    Sliding into a tiny gap and trying hard to escape to what I assume is freedom, I heave and sigh and then try to break free. I want to get out there and be whisked away by the wind. And not just any wind, I want winds filled with the salty sea and bits of the seashore. Cool and sharp and slaps as it strikes my skin, I want to taste it but it means I have to become another state.
It calls to me and invites me, that Natural fragrance from my childhood. It's sweet berries aroma soaked in fresh plump alive leaves surrounded by rich loamy soil, perforated by juicy fat worms.
But I am no longer the wind, I am a tiny lamb on a mission. I sees beautiful mammoth butterfly perch and feed on the marvelous bouquet of flowers naturally clustered and set above the tree of wonders and I know I have to have a taste. Just below it are purple berries, tiny and juicy inviting it calls to me. I move up to my hind limbs and start to munch on the green leaves and yes I have some berries. I eat until I am full and then I hear the a crackling sound. All around me is burning, but not this tree. It is fire resistant and still standing. And by proxy, I am still standing too and that makes me relax and chew on what is left in my mouth. I flinched and then feel my stomach turn up into a knot, no way. I realize what it is, I have eaten poison and I am trapped. I stare at the plant and cannot help but wonder. Why do beautiful things poison you?
  Lantana Camara has left me with her bouquet of flowers and juicy plush leaves and now I am a victim in her path. Struggling to keep my eyes open as they are shut tight and as I do, I start to lose consciousness. So I fight some more and fall into a deep slumber....
 .... Until I fight harder and push myself up and then wake up. Is it me or is this how I'm going very be for the rest of my life? Awake and a little confused about my weird dreams and sitting alone in my room trying to decipher what it all means.
  The tree in question is Lantana Camara, I used to eat the berries as a child. But you could not pay me to taste them right now. I did some research on the plant and I guess it kind of slipped into my dream.

  My day starts off slow and I just drag my feet and then I feel a shiver run through my spine. It makes me stretch and stand on my toes and then yawn long and hard. Now I am wide awake.
Nnoye and Ajoke's drama ended on a positive note with us kind of telling Nnoye that she needs to create room for Idibia's misgivings. And by that, I mean his live in girlfriend. I got a piece of her mind that day eh, because she accused me of pushing her to accept what I could never. And she is right, but her case is unique. She and Idibia have no official agreement, I think. That further infuriated her and I just had to stop talking. Then she said they had agreed to be exclusive but he was worried about her unborn baby. I was not sure if she was with Daniel or Idibia as in it changed every two weeks. I didn't even have to say it, she felt it and got into a defensive mode.
I apologized for judging her but made it clear I was confused at times and he might be too. Ajoke pinched me and I stopped talking, I guess nothing I said to quell the matter helped. After she stopped crying, she says Idibia made her break up with Daniel. Meanwhile he had a live in girlfriend, see this life eh. No comment.
So I asked what she wanted to do and my girl says she had no clue. Ajoke says she needs a break from men and should concentrate on her baby coming out in one piece. I just smiled and agreed, I didn't want to make things worse.

  I do not know what to do now, I am still living with Ajoke and Bala. I don't know if moving back alone to my new house is healthy. Especially with all these bad dreams or should I call them weird dreams. Eventually I will but let me give it two more weeks, I think.
I feel an ache in my breasts and maybe it's time to stop the breast milk. Angel, the cute little comfort that helped me through my loss is gone and I have to move on.
 I dress up and then get into my car, it still smells like Henrik and that calms me down a bit. I start to talk to him and explain why I have to go out and then spot Ajoke.
'You still talk to him', she says in a calm voice.
I nod my head.
'Are you going to Daniel's?'
 I nod my head again.
'Is this the right thing to do?'
'I don't know, he may not even be home'
'You need company?'
'Its fine...'
'Your cast...'
'The car is automatic and if I'm in pain I will call a cab'
 Ajoke hugs me and let's me go out, lingering behind me and watching me go. I understand her fear, after all I lost my family in a car crash. But I need to get over the fear of it all. I am visibly shaking and I spread my fingers on the staring wheels to stop my panic. I start taking long deep breaths and then calm myself down, this is not as easy as I thought.
 The horns and screams from other drivers on the road makes me cringe. I maintain my slow lane and can't imagine why they all want me to drive faster. Just as I get to Daniel's house, my feet starts to throb and ache badly. Maybe this was not such a good idea.

   Daniel is on the phone when I get to his house and runs to help me out of the car.
'Ade, what are you doing here?'
'Good morning Daniel'
 He helps me up and I rest my arm around his neck to help me stand upright. Daniel lifts me up and carries me and I struggle out of his hold.
'I have my crutches in my car', I protest and was not comfortable with him carrying me into his house.
'Ade let me help you'
 I know he means well but no thanks.
'Its not there'
'What?', I did not believe him but he was right.
'Just let me hold your shoulders like this...'
 Before I could say jack Robinson eh, he carried me into his house.
'You are so funny', he adds as he drops me on his couch.
'Ajoke called you'
'Yes she did, you should not drive with a fractured limb'
'But the car is automatic'
 He gave me a puppy dog look, it was a mixture of pity and sorry.
'How are you doing?'
'Not good at all, where is Angel?'
 I turned to the baby cot behind me and stared at her.
'Should I?'
'No Daniel, let her sleep'
'Your mum...'
'And dad were with me through out yesterday, it was nice'
'I had an emergency yesterday, flew to Port Harcourt and back'
'And Angel...'
'Ajoke was with her...'
'She does don't tell me'
'She said your parents visit relaxed you'
'I knew something was up, I just thought it was Nnoye's drama Again'
 I had said it before I realized it.
'Its fine, I know all about it. Nnoye won't change, she was never who I...'
 He didn't say it, thank God. Because it would have been a lie and I don't want him to be that guy.
'We were convenient for each other when it mattered, that is long over'
 He poured me some fresh pomegranate with ice and I was in heaven.
 We didn't talk for like ten minutes and I just rest my head and fall asleep.

   Waking up to Daniel's face Confused me and Angel's cries brought me back to reality.
'Its time'
'Time for what?'
'Nnoye is in labour'
 I stretch and carry Angel and she reached for my milk. I smiled and then stretched my hands, 'pass me a bottle'

  Ajoke was right, I was depending too much on breast feeding her. She was doing fine taking the breast milk from a bottle and I had to respect Daniel's wishes.
 So we all get into my car and drive to the hospital, Nnoye's baby was on the way.
The baby she and Daniel made....

**"ADE'S JOURNAL" Season 2 Episode 98**
Share This Post :

You Might Also Like

No comments:

Post a Comment

Adebusola Ukayat Elegbede is a Playwright and Content creator with a passion for real life challenges. Born in Kaduna state and lives in Lagos Nigeria, she has a passion for story telling from the perspectives of characters in conflicting situations. I started out on the New Writing Project in Nigeria with the British Council Lagos Nigeria and The Royal Court Theatre, Sloane Square U.K. My passion for creating stories led to comic books, television drama's and an online journal on my website (busolaelegbede.com). As part of the WPIC in Stockholm Sweden 2012, the experience has forged life long friends and ignited my passion as a volunteer and advocate for human rights and the United Nations 17 Sustainable Development Goals.

Follow @Busola Elegbede