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Ade's Journal Part 6

Ade's Journal Part 6
My Valentine & The Elegance Of A Clean Breakup

Ade's Journal Part 5

Ade's Journal Part 5
My Scrumptious Valentine Kiss

Ade's Journal Part 4

Ade's Journal Part 4
A Scorpion is not a Lobster

Ade's Journal Part 3

Ade's Journal Part 3
My Insane Week Before Valentine

Ade's Journal Part 2

Ade's Journal Part 2
He Had The Guts To Come Back

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Wednesday, 9 May 2018

Celine's Crush


   As in, it was a cool evening and I was expecting my man. He was going to walk in holding freshly squeezed orange juice and my little slightly lit lamp would just brighten our night. Or so I thought, tonight did not go as planned. I do not know why men don't have that radar that says, woman on a mission. This lady is on a serious mission, always around my man and I.
There is no trick I have not tried, no negative body language I have not spewed her way. The babe shaaa no want free, I tire ooooo. In fact, the latest blunder my man has made is to say he can't make it tonight and has sent this pest to replace him. You see men and their cluelessness, I will not hide my disdain for her like Ade said I should. I will not warn her to my man's face like Ajoke said I should and nor will I set his children against her like Nnoye says. Instead, I will be civil and ask her, what exactly she wants.
The answer throws me off and my Ladies need to hear it all....
     I am laughing hysterically and even though it is via WhatsApp video call, she gets it. My crazy paranoid bedridden mother to be, gets it.
 Celine had called an emergency meeting and also insists that all her best friends are present.
'Why?', Ajoke asked making me laugh some more.
'Because she is one of us', Celine says a little irritated this issue has come up again.
'if that is the case, I will not give you first hand gist and insist that Nnoye gets it at the same time as you'
 Ajoke was possessive and really, I don't blame her. Celine was her friend, long before I showed up and way longer than when Nnoye showed up.
Yet, Celine tries to make her feel like we are all friends on the same plane.
'If you try it', Celine warned and made me laugh some more.
'Ade, I told you. I am the only honest, straight talker in this our clique. Celine gets jealous too, she's just very good at hiding it'
I was still laughing when Ajoke hit me and instinctively, I hit her back.
'Ajoke, don't slap me that hard nowwww'
'Ade your hand is painful too', she defends herself quickly.
'Celine, talk', I snapped at her while I massaged where Ajoke hit me.
    Nnoye enters with a strong whiff of my perfume and a glossy magazine in her hand. She knows I am wearing White Diamond and she had to get the same perfume. I have her time, I will go back to my Rumeur. Let me see if she will copy that? Ajoke whispered and I shake my head, as she said out loud.
'Is that not Ade's perfume?'
''She does not have monopoly of perfumes', Nnoye snapped at Ajoke.
 Ajoke rolled her eyes at her and pinched me, which hurt a lot.
 Celine waved and adjusts on her bed, she was still bedridden and cranky and was not ready to tolerate our childish tantrums.
'You know that babe?'
 Nnoye turns to her and adds, ''the one hovering around Pierre?'
 Ajoke eyed her and adds, 'the one in that Gucci sheath dress with puff sleeves?'
 It was Ajoke's way of proving to Nnoye that she had insider gist.
'I saw her in the dress too, she had an interview in interior design quarterly. See'
  Ajoke hesitates because, she had only heard about the lady but didn't know what she actually looked like. I did not want any further drama, so I point at the lady and Nnoye says no. She has on an afro and the peep toe shoes. Now, Ajoke looked and we all stared at this beautiful black lady. I wanted to ask her about her hair and Nnoye says she follows her on Instagram and follows her hair routine.
'Hello', Celine asked and called out to us.
'Shoot', I say and we all shut the magazine and stare at Celine.
'Only God knows how she got Pierre to abandon me and instead, she ends up bringing me my orange juice'
'She is into natural organic good', Nnoye adds showing us her posts on Instagram.
'Abeg make I finish my gist', Celine grumbled.
'Oh ho', Ajoke adds and eyes Nnoye who drops her smartphone​.
'Did she threaten to snatch Pierre?', Ajoke asks.
'Or confess to an affair?', Nnoye adds.
'Ade?', Celine nudges me to ask.
'Did she ask you out?'
 Celine clapped her hands and Ajoke's jaws dropped.
'No way, she's not gay', Ajoke adds still in shock.
'Did you know?', Celine asks Nnoye.
 Nnoye shakes her head but Celine looks at me.
'Ade knew, how on earth do you have an accurate gaydar?'
'She spent more time with you', I add.
'So will any woman who wants to get close to your man' Ajoke screamed.
'Pierre did mention that you were more friends than he and her', that my English was all over the place but I think it's because I had so much to say.
'So what now?'
'I have told her no but she wants to remain friends'
'And?', I ask unsure of what she wants to do.
'Ade you have been in this situation before', Celine throws that at me.
'i was young and didn't believe in I long lasting friendships, at least new ones. I think time will tell, I'm still friends with my toaster but she understands now that I am very much straight'
'You think she will hold out hope?', Celine asks.
'Don't we all', Nnoye says and massaged her forehead.
'Wait ooo, which of your friend is a lesbian and I didn't know. Is it Nnoye?'
 Nnoye sits up straight and protests, 'Ajoke I no like am oooo'
'But you know you behave like someone that swings both ways'
 Ajoke was just looking for Nnoye's trouble and the two started shouting and I smile at Celine.
'You see, you have nothing to worry about'
'Ade don't lie to her ooo, the lady may swing both ways. Anything can happen, keep her at arms length', Ajoke spews out.
'A cheater will cheat, just be happy he is sincere and if he isn't then decide quickly to stay or go', Nnoye says and then rests her head on my shoulder.
'So what now?', I ask.
'Celine's Crush will be our next gist', Celine jokes.
'Don't tell him'
'Celine don't mind Nnoye, tell him'
'Ade, what do you think?'
'He knows already, tell him'
 My words made them all quiet and then I stare at Nnoye.
'You didn't bring take away food?'
'I did, it's on the table'
'We are moving this to my dining room', I announced and suddenly had a deja vu.
It was me, my girls and Henrik and his warm soft hands pull me up as my girls go to the dining room.
'Ade?', Ajoke asks as she has her hands stretched out to help me up from the floor.
  I smile and take her skinny fingers as we both struggle until I am up on my feet.

  I am lonely and need company, not my Ladies.... But a distracting kind.
The thought makes me feel guilty and as I fiddled with my phone, I see a message....

**"ADE'S JOURNAL", Season 3, Episode 25**
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Adebusola Ukayat Elegbede is a Playwright and Content creator with a passion for real life challenges. Born in Kaduna state and lives in Lagos Nigeria, she has a passion for story telling from the perspectives of characters in conflicting situations. I started out on the New Writing Project in Nigeria with the British Council Lagos Nigeria and The Royal Court Theatre, Sloane Square U.K. My passion for creating stories led to comic books, television drama's and an online journal on my website (busolaelegbede.com). As part of the WPIC in Stockholm Sweden 2012, the experience has forged life long friends and ignited my passion as a volunteer and advocate for human rights and the United Nations 17 Sustainable Development Goals.

Follow @Busola Elegbede