Fear cripples, fear truncates and kills dreams. But it does not signify the end, you can jump start your dreams and reboot your goals. All it takes is the will to want to start all over again and I am ready. My career goals are on track but bless YouTube videos for reminding me that I have not even started. This six year old with her dreams taking off, she is on her third book and has released an album. Is she the brightest? No. Is her voice breaking boundaries and winning Grammies? No. She is enjoying herself and earning quality money while honing her skills.
It's a reminder that I have so much more to do and I should not wait until I am perfect.
Come rain or shine I will hit the airwaves with my show and my Valentine special will be epic. The roses may not be red, in fact I won't be using roses but a mixture of yellow pin and white. All that matters is that I will be Bold and do it now. Take every step towards making my debut show a reality.. How about you....
Bala, the young girl and I were dining on French chocolate and I immediately feel guilty. I drop it and rush to Ajoke who shouts at me because I was still licking my sticky fingers and enjoying their treats. As I did, I heard her voice in the far distance and get confused.
'Vive le France', I blurt out while stretching. It's one of those dreams that feel so real. It is as if I was spirit walking and my eyes are still shut but my smile was very much real.
Ajoke slapped my feet and that wakes me up completely and I click open my eyes.
'Wake up jare'
'AJoke calm down'
'Bala has been calling you'
Maybe she didn't see the correct caller ID, so I collect my phone and she is right.
'Hi Bala, good morning'
'I won't talk to him', Ajoke childishly remarked and leaves the room.
'Is she still there?'
'No'
'Did she tell you?'
'Yes'
'Mmmmfff'
'How could you?'
'She is my daughter'
'What?'
'YES'
'Tell her'
'I wanted the DNA test proof first and that's why I had to go to Paris'
'Why didn't you just tell her?'
'Do you know how many people lie and claim to be mine?'
Obviously was very active to be getting that many, but I did not say that out loud.
'I used to be young and reckless but not anymore'
I sighed and massage my forehead.
'Please tell her to put on her phone and talk to me, after all she is about five years younger. Gabriell... Gigi is innocent in all this'
'Give me thirty minutes', I say and cut the line.
The smell of vanilla ice cream with chocolate chunks laced with Bailey's did not do me any justice this morning. I was just supposed to sleep in for one night but it's now three full night's here. Don't get me wrong oooo, I am enjoying my stay. But Ajoke's paranoia was getting worse by day. For now, I do not mind staying until Bala returns. I am here with Ajoke and the twins are making this so much more exciting than expected.
She pushed the crystal glass ice cream bowl towards me and without saying a word, I dig in.
'So, who is she?'
I slowly place a spoon heaped with the ice cream an d put it upside down, between my upper jaw and tongue so that the taste will linger on. My eyes are closed and I want this moment to...
Whack, the smacking startled me and I cut angry eyes at Ajoke.
'This house is in my name and my Nikah contract is binding, me and the twins get all that was promised... So I am not worried but the betrayal bites into my bones....'
'Relax abeg, he is not marrying anyone'
'Ade you were not there, she refused to talk and she sent a picture. The girl is pretty...'
'She is his daughter...'
The silence that followed scared me, Ajoke's had a spoon full of ice cream melting and almost drops off. I place the hand back down and the ice cream back in her bowl.
'Confirmed?'
'DNA and all'
'I still get a weird bad vibe from her'
'Its allowed'
'Why didn't he just say so?'
'How many have accused him this year alone?'
'Six... Plus her, seven'
'Now you understand'
'No I don't, does he know that his secrecy arms these enemies of Progress'
'So talk to him and protect your family'
'Twenty minutes...', my naughty friend insists.
'Why are you forming? He didn't do anything wrong'
'So, I'm still pissed'
'Na you know ooo', I tell her and add more ice cream to her bowl.
It was a little over two hours later and no call from Bala, nothing. Ajoke's twins keep us busy, fighting over toys and we physically had to carry them away from each other. And immediately we do they start to cry and then stretch their arms to each other. They hug and cry and then share toys.
Ajoke shakes her head and then we watch a series, my favorite television series right now. 'Queen Sugar', Ava DuVernay is not playing. My tears were real and Ajoke tried and failed to stop shaking, we quietly wipe our eyes and ponder on the deep emotional state we just experienced.
Bala walks in and I am in shock, I did not know he was already here.
'Daddy', the twins squeak and cheer.
'Welcome home's, Ajoke says as cold as she can.
They peck on the lips briefly and make up and Bala tickles her. Ajoke breaks out laughing and upset he made her laugh.
Bala didn't disappoint, he hands me a jewelry box and I smile and hug it, whispering thank you at the same time.
Finally, I leave and go to work, just as I settle in and start to enjoy re-strategizing plans for my show, he calls.
Oh goodness, not my stalker ex. Daniel Ojora, he is distraught and scared.
The matriarch of his family has had three heart attacks and he just wanted me to know.
I want to drive there and help however I can but he sends his driver instead. Mrs. Ojora wants to see me and a genuine fear engulfs my mind.
I hope she does not die...
**"ADE'S JOURNAL", Season 3, Episode 56**
*"ADE'S JOURNAL", 56, COPYRIGHT 2018*
**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE, COPYRIGHT 2018**
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