Tossed into an ocean of smoking dreams, I wait. Forced into a whirlwind of maybe, I see. Not with biased blurry vision by the truth. I have soaked and absorbed all I can and I am now what I promised I will not be. That person unsure of why I missed all I did, all the opportunities that can and should have made my life easier. The endless supply of mentis all dispatched and long gone. Now I push and try to stretch all my deadlines and pause in between to ask again, where did I go wrong. As I watch her tired defeated eyes dart about the room and then rest on me. The education she had now a painting on the wall. The extra skills she learned, all now fallow in her battle for survival. As the jaws of depression expand and engulf her, I look around and see that it is not my friend that I look at with pity. But my exhausted self, disappearing into the jaws of regret.
Knowing how hot the ice isn’t helping matters. Yet I delve hold on to it, juggling it from one hand onto the other until it hits it’s intended target. My bowl of zobo, the drink responsible for shaving inches off my waist. I cough and wipe off sweat off my face, I am a contradiction of hot and cold. Like the drink I just made.
Ajoke is dialing again for the twentieth time and I am exhausted on her behalf. Although I also have a reason for not wanting her to call Celine. I am kind of grateful that the rain clouds have hindered all her efforts to get through to Paris. The WhatsApp call rings and writes connecting but nothing and then, just as the deep blackish drink starts to touch my eager lips. It connects.
Not even the voice call but the video call.
My mechanic has not called me, I need to know that my car can hit the road. Public transport is crazy in Lagos and there’s no way to know who is sane and who isn’t.
‘Ade is that zobo?’
I try to move away from her line of sight, my aproco friend answered on my behalf.
‘Celine don’t mind her, I don’t take it because it Lowe’s blood pressure and mine gets low…’
‘Ade is allergic…’, Celine adds.
‘You didn’t tell me' an angry Ajoke protests.
‘I wanted to finish the one and a half bottle left', I defend myself.
‘Also it stops you from getting pregnant and I think that ship has sailed, why didn’t you tell me?’
Celine looks visit my upset and her little angel feels it and starts to cry.
‘Don’t upset your baby…’, I tell her.
‘Celine, Ade doesn’t look guilty enough to be pregnant', Ajoke says snatching the drink from my hand.
‘So, you lied?’
‘Honestly I don’t know why’, I tried to justify my lie.
‘What did Daniel say?’
‘What else? They want to make it possible today’
‘Don’t say that, you don’t know'
‘Celine I do, she shaved her legs'
I smack Ajoke on her back, ‘ I don’t like what you are saying. I always shave my legs'
‘Correction, she waxed it’
I chased Ajoke around the room and when we get back to the phone, Celine is breastfeeding her little angel.
All my emotions, Surface like a drunken tea bag. I have obviously been Drowning in words Longing for action and my actions only prove that I want one. Or am I pumped with hormone overload? I know I’m definitely ovulating and feeling like a child should be growing inside me.
The doctors confirmed I am alright now, that I was reacting to something. My sense of smell and everything else is heightened and these temptation to drink the zobo I am allergic to, more intense. Ajokes pours it down my kitchen drain and I pour the one with ice cubes I’ve juggled away.
‘Now what do I drink?’
‘Water’, they both echo and laugh.
I open a fizzy drink and stand at akimbo.
‘What happened to healthy drinks?’, Celine asked.
‘I am allergic', I say chewing on ice cubes.
Ajoke sneaks off and reappears with my playsuit, the one I made for my date.
I try to grab it and she placed it on her body and shows Celine.
‘I see you made it so that it’s a turtle necked button on shoulder and zip playsuit with twines…”
‘…meaning what exactly?’’, Ajoke asked.
‘Meaning all my senses have to be working well for me to unbutton, unzip and untwine my outfit'
‘a sex proof outfit? My dear you will drop if you want to drop'
Ajoke was right as usual, I will if I want to I am just not sure.
Alan asked after you, he is coming around in December'
‘Celine, she is going on a date with Daniel', Ajoke reiterated.
‘And so, abeg let me decide by myself…’, I protest.
‘I want our kids to be cousins', Celine states as if she and I have agreed before now.
‘Ade was willing to joke about having my husband’s best friends baby. Mrs. Ojora approves and this playsuit…’
Ajoke waves it in the air in front of the ipad she was taking to Celine with.
‘…Is proof that Daniel is winning'
‘There is no ring yet..’
They were too busy arguing to notice that I received a phone call.
I step away and try to see who it was, the phone was dark and I increased its brightness.
‘Enough you two', I screamed and step into the bathroom and away from them..
‘Hi’, it’s Daniel.
‘Hey you, how are you doing?’
He called to cancel our date and move it up to this weekend.
‘Its alright'
‘Your yacht?’
‘The deed isn’t in my name… So please stop calling it mine'
Typical, it’s named after me so what.
‘Actually, it is'
‘Swipe it for cash now”
Daniel laughed, he thinks I am joking.
‘Its temporary, I get hitches too and sometimes don’t get the funding I need. But it comes and that’s why I keep creating and improving systems'
‘Good for you’
I say and realized my P.A. has sent me an email about my car.
‘Hope you don’t mind'
‘You have my car'
‘Your mechanic tried fixing it all weekend and we’ll, I just could not accept his excuses anymore'
‘You? How do you think I feel?’
‘I had to…’
‘Its alright, at least that headache is gone'
‘I am shocked'
‘I will add it to your earnings for the show’s
‘You amaze me….’
‘I am too grown to be in denial, I accept help when I can. Thanks'
‘You are welcome, see you soon dear'
‘Alright’
I cut the phone and can hear Ajoke breathing against the bathroom door.
I step out smiling.
Ajoke does not try to pretend.
‘I need to see this deed’
‘Me too', Celine adds over the iPad.
‘No one is going to see anything, let’s just enjoy the kind gesture and move on'
I wanted us to talk about Celine’s baby and Ajoke's twins, about Pierre and his daughters and Bala. And especially about who is more likely to go to heaven in Nigeria, a mechanic or a tailor.
The lies they tell, the money they siphon and the disappointment they cause are endless.
Do you agree?
Thank God for generous friends.. I laugh because it’s music to my soul….
**"ADE'S JOURNAL", Season 3, Episode 62**
*"ADE'S JOURNAL", 62, COPYRIGHT 2018*
**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE, COPYRIGHT 2018**
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