Don’t we all want the end result to change, I know i do. Maybe I don’t do enough or I wallow too much in the reasons why. Do you blame me? It’s such an addictive habit, to lay on my back and stare at the ceiling until my focus dwindles and then I reach out and jolt upwards. Did twenty minutes just run by me, like in my mind it was just a minute. Should I Try; silly question you may think but if you are sincere... You will know that I am definitely in despair and I know that I will fight and Ride The Heat Wave. Especially now that I know what is going on right now. It is exactly like, how food replenishes the body. I realize now that I need to energize my mind. Feed it with uplifting realistic messages, tested and trusted by people before me. But not just anyone, someone I look up to. So my curious mind is at work right now. Find a mentor, that someone who has achieved my dream or extremely high up or close to it. Depending on many things of course. My dreams are in three tiers and for now, my formula is off. As one suffers, the other grows and then I simultaneously have to abandon the third dream. Can I truly find a way to put in place pillars that will make all aspects of my life balanced and to my satisfaction?
No hope isn’t lost, I refuse to accept that. I just need to increase my opportunities, I just need to figure out how. See how I always start my journal with thoughts about my crazy mixed up life or a weird dream or even my abstract definition of my life. Well, let’s get back to now…..
The stars were dreamy and kind of twinkled and I could tell the difference between a satellite way up in the sky and a star. The air was clear and free of any fumes or air pollution, I inhaled and rest my head back on the beach chair and just enjoyed the silence. I was not asleep, just numb. I was not even trying to count the stars I just traced the patterns with my eyes. My favorite was the lion head I tried to form and I only stopped when I realized I was no longer alone. This man that somehow has remained constant in my life, through my bold micro mini skirt wearing days. To my tomboyish baggy jeans phase and then my corporate look and finally to my classy forever young lady current look was watching me.
A little embarrassed, I giggled and tried to sit up and then lost balance. I think I put most of my weight on my wrist without preparing the wrist to push me up, so it wobbles.
It also happens with my feet sometimes, I walk but my mind has wondered and then I land Awkwardly on my ankle and miss a step. I wonder if this is unique to me or there are people in the old this happens to too.
Daniel Ojora catches me and kind of laughed. It was a nervous, I’m not sure what is going on kind of laughter.
‘Don’t worry, I’m fine’, I tried to reassure him.
‘I don’t think so, I’ve been watching you for a while now'
‘Really’, I say and rest my tired head back into the chair.
‘Is it that bad?’
‘Daniel it’s worse'
‘Do you need a loan?’
‘How am I supposed to pay back?’
How do you mean?’
‘Its all intellectual property and unless there is a deal with television networks… it’s all maybe…’
‘As most of all businesses are….’
I was kind of exhausted and frustrated and I grab my oversized pink sun hat and try to slip into the green flip flops and could not.
Daniel squeezed the side of my tensed up shoulders and I fall back into the beach chair and try to sit up again.
‘Maybe I should work with existing people that have made it in the entertainment industry…’
‘Didn’t you say you tried…’
‘The old ones that use the same formula I am currently using …’
‘So?’
‘So, I need to start all over again. Use my old reels and scripts to pitch to executives…’
‘…In this new world, Ade don’t forget. It’s obsolete every six months…’
‘That means all of my materials need to be revamped…’
I turn to him and he has freshly squeezed orange drink with ice rings in it.
‘Tweaked up'
Daniel adds and raised his own cranberry drink up at me.
I eyed his drink and stare at mine.
‘What?’
‘I want your drink but with the ice rings in it'
He raised his hands up and then, we switched drinks and he puts a out four ice rings in my drink and then I taste it.
‘Is the ice ring made of water melon and vodka?’
‘What do you think?’, this handsome man asked me.
‘Yes’, I cheer and then I raise my hands up in the air and my glass to that.
‘So lets make the deadline this Saturday'
I nod my head and we both watch each other.
‘We have not seen since the pregnancy news sprang up. Or have we?’
‘No we have not'
‘I like that smile', I teased him.
‘Did you see me like the post on Facebook….’
‘You didn’t like it, you loved it’
We fall over each other and laugh and spill our drinks, this date is going better than I imagined.
‘So, ba wo ni?’
‘Owo Olorun la wa oooo'
I nod my head and agree, yes its by the grace of God that we have survived in this dwindling economy.
‘The losses are enormous but it will pick up. I think Nigeria always gets worse just before a regime change. And always gets better, it’s just that we kind of hope it will be stable…’
‘Exactly, we think we are ready for the fall but…’
‘…But…’
I nod my head and raise my glass and watch Daniel pour me another drink with those cute vodka and water melon ice rings.
‘… We will rise again'
‘Would you be open to me. investing more…’
‘Errr…. I thought you were not making money'
‘From some of my personal investments, the ones with board members and investors I answer to have asked me to ask'
‘Yes I have drawn up contracts and my lawyers and yours can renegotiate a long term partnership'
‘I was going to suggest long term'
‘Good’
We catch up on gist and everything and talk up until two in the morning. I shut my eyes briefly, a little tired and when I wake up. I feel the softest bed sheets in the world, it’s so cozy that I run my hand over it again. I turn around and see that the room is all white, white walls, white rug, white plaster of Paris ceiling with intricate designs. The painting on the wall was majestic and new and of me when I was eighteen. Those million braids were epic and the suede blue spaghetti top and matching fitted denim pants made me smile.
I sit up and stretch and March up to the painting, this was Daniel. Who else had this kind of money to commission a life size oil painting of me. His arm was around my waist and I turn my head up to see him.
‘Do you like it?’
‘Why not a recent picture of me?’
‘That one is in my bedroom'
I hit him for cracking such an expensive joke and he plants a kiss on my lips. I shut my eyes and my arms are all around his strong neck.
The next thing I knew…
**"ADE'S JOURNAL", Season 3, Episode 64**
*"ADE'S JOURNAL", 64, COPYRIGHT 2018*
**BUSOLA ELEGBEDE, COPYRIGHT 2018**
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