"ADE'S JOURNAL", 83

  Ask Me More Questions now and dive deep into my mind, don't sugarcoat it or leave anything behind. Spray me with bright colours, I will wear to shield me from the elements claws. No need for suspense, splashed pink top wide brim beach hats and firm green flip flops as evidence. Just sweet talk me and swirl me like sweet wine, until I know for sure you are mine. I waited long for your aura and fabulous lush, swim along side you as we touch. The water is murky like my favourite clutch and as the crystals reflect, the waves climb high and it's too much. Maybe I should stop waiting for your maybes and stick to what is real like my perky twin babies. They've only being mine for almost two decades, and have gone through it all with me from my teenage years up until now. No sign they will ever be plucked like my teenage self feared, a sign that I've grown up somehow with a little luck. I miss the feeling I can do it all, maybe it's you and not me no not at all.

"ADE'S JOURNAL", 82

  My heart is racing as I swim towards the shore, my scales constrict closer to my cold body that floats and absorbs the sun rays. It seems a little far off, but in no time now all will be all mine. The distraction is intense and the smell of freshness lures me away from the shore back to sea. It floats behind me and is massive and bright blue and I can see it's pregnant and about to release the millions of eggs to sea. I divert my tail back towards it and move my massive deep green frame towards it. I leap hard and fast and tasted something familiar.

"ADE'S JOURNAL", 81

  Hope is me believing for the first time in a long time, that the time is now. I'm so relaxed about it and feeling really calm, I've fought a cold, heat rash and desperate friends and my vision has been blurred and tainted. No more can the voices outside my head confuse me, I know what I want. And I also acknowledge that my genuine friends mean well or at least I believe they do. Celine is team 'Alan' and she is so sure I would want to relocate to France, marry Alan and be related to her. Ajoke is team 'Daniel', she wants our husbands to be best friends and share the same investments and just be like sisters.

"ADE'S JOURNAL", 80

  Twilight shines and reflects my mood and so much is left for me to do, as I stare into the abyss I try to write my new year goals. A tradition I have done for many, many years. This year, I just did not do this. It is not too late I hope, as I stare now at the blank piece of paper beside me. Why you may ask? It's simple, I've started school again and this time it's business school. My time has been taken up by projects and deadlines, but it's time. I hold and slant the pen and stare at the white piece of paper and exhale hard.
My goals are clear this two thousand and nineteen and as the ball point hits the sheet of paper, the strong smell of ink hits the dusty air. It has been so hot and sunny during the day and cool and cold at night. The contradiction isn't good for my chest but I digress a bit. I start and did not stop until I was twenty goals deep and writing the goals free my mind and I slide into an unexpected slumber.